Hi everyone, My daughter, now 18, does not bother to contact me more then once or twice a year & is planning to do a "victory lap" at high school, she has grade 12 & good marks although I was never really told & not invited to the graduation. I have not been informed of any plans for further education, work etc... My ex has not supplied tax assessment for last 2 yrs income ( court ordered & her idea), also I know my daughter received hefty trust fund from grandfather a few yrs ago (thanks to ex's sympathetic new spouse who had been put through the same alienation crap by his ex). I have no problem continuing to pay my fair share however I would like to find out what that is. Ex is highly volatile, I know her head will start spinning around the minute I bring this up. Her & new husband have very high income ( they work together in insurance/financial business ). Can anyone tell me what the procedure is to get this sorted out. Hoping to avoid another 20k in legal fees. Tried for & was given better access a few yrs ago, ex ignored all of it & created such stress & anxiety to my daughter in the end I gave up...so now she is an adult, I would rather give her the support directly so maybe she would talk to me more, just looking for advice from someone who has dealt with similar situation & I know there are many out there. Thanks.
child over 18, now what?
- Thread starter beenthere
- Start date
- Status
littleman
New member
sunds to me beenthere that you are "paying" to see your child. if your child is 18 and done with full time school so is the support you pay. Im confused wy you need her assessments when no spousal, that makes no sense. If you only pay CS then her income is irrelevant, your original lawyer should have told you that. If you want to pay for your childs post secondary kudos to you but if your child is alienating you then why push the subject.
NBDad
New member
You send an R3 letter (Essentially registered mail, signature required) asking for the your ex's Notice of Assessment and to be provided with the post secondary information for your daughter. (ie. school/program).
Give her 30 days to respond.
After that, if she ignores you, you file a motion with the court to terminate CS on the grounds that the child is a legal adult and not pursuing post secondary education. Ask for either termination OR proof she is attending a post secondary program full time.
You may also want to call/email your daughter directly asking if she is going to college/university so you can help out if such is her plans.
(Be forewarned if she IS , you will be expected to contribute to it, over and above CS payments)
Give her 30 days to respond.
After that, if she ignores you, you file a motion with the court to terminate CS on the grounds that the child is a legal adult and not pursuing post secondary education. Ask for either termination OR proof she is attending a post secondary program full time.
You may also want to call/email your daughter directly asking if she is going to college/university so you can help out if such is her plans.
(Be forewarned if she IS , you will be expected to contribute to it, over and above CS payments)
NBDad
New member
For the purpose of CS it's irrelevant. HOWEVER for the calculation of special expenses it's needed. Post Secondary is a HUGE expense and he'll need the Notice of Assessment to calculate the percentages.
And if he has a court order indicated CS, he can't just stop paying. The ex can toss it to FRO who'll pursue him hardcore. He needs to get an actual court order terminating CS, which means he needs to know if the child is in post secondary or not.
If she IS pursuing then CS continues. If she ISN'T then CS stops.
Thanks for the info NBDad. I do have court ordered CS till she is 25 if still in school. I didn't realize that I could end up paying more then the CS once she is over 18? Does it ever end...still irks me that only non custodial parent is forced to keep paying, just does not seem fair but then this whole system is a farce, meant to make lawyers lots of money & keep psycho nut bars like my ex pacified. I will try talking to my daughter first, she is kept on a tight rein by her mother so might not get much info. Here's hoping!
NBDad
New member
Post Secondary is considered a special expense. It's split pro-rata to income after things like scholarships, loans, grants, & RESPs are applied. Child is obligated to apply for any and all possible funding.
Still going to cost you a couple thousand a year, however if you can negotiate with your ex you can come up with something.
Still going to cost you a couple thousand a year, however if you can negotiate with your ex you can come up with something.
beenthere, there is nothing to stop two parents from agreeing that their child should pay for their own education.
Except the parents.
The courts only step in if the parents don't agree. Then they make a single, simple decision that the kid is better off with an education than without one.
Up to that point, I understand where the courts are going with this. Personally I think that support should be paid directly to the child if they are in school, and the custodial parent can then charge them rent if they maintain the home. Hopefully someday the legislation will get there, it isn't there now.
Except the parents.
The courts only step in if the parents don't agree. Then they make a single, simple decision that the kid is better off with an education than without one.
Up to that point, I understand where the courts are going with this. Personally I think that support should be paid directly to the child if they are in school, and the custodial parent can then charge them rent if they maintain the home. Hopefully someday the legislation will get there, it isn't there now.
bigboysdad
New member
same thing
same thing
Beenthere,,,seems i'm there also.My 3 boys are all in university and i have some of the same issues.
Granpa gave each boy 5k for 1st year schooling plus they have their own education accounts since birth.
Of course the ex swears that granpa gave them nothing and fails to talk about their education monies.
I am going to self rep to "fix" these issues.
I need to know If i can "force" my boys to provide me with an affidavit.They know all details of funding.
One of my boys just confirmed to me by "accident" that he did receive 5k from granpa for school.
Anyone know"how" i can get this information in front of a judge??
thanks
bbd
same thing
Beenthere,,,seems i'm there also.My 3 boys are all in university and i have some of the same issues.
Granpa gave each boy 5k for 1st year schooling plus they have their own education accounts since birth.
Of course the ex swears that granpa gave them nothing and fails to talk about their education monies.
I am going to self rep to "fix" these issues.
I need to know If i can "force" my boys to provide me with an affidavit.They know all details of funding.
One of my boys just confirmed to me by "accident" that he did receive 5k from granpa for school.
Anyone know"how" i can get this information in front of a judge??
thanks
bbd
- Status