Change of address
- Thread starter tugofwar
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hadenough
New member
How old is your child? You have every right to know the new address and phone number. Communicate this in an email - and if he refuses or ignores the request: don't be there for him to pick up your child. You likely don't have a police-enforced access order (most ppl don't) so if he threatens to call the police, they will simply tell him to take the matter up in Court. Then you will have the opportunity (and the emails) to demonstrate that you were met with no cooperation when you simply requested what you have every right to know. My ex (whom I never call) told me he didn't have a home ph # (him and his wife moved a few months ago) - it was bs ofcourse - and our child is 13 so it wasn't a huge deal - as well, I easily found the # under Canada 411 (under his wife's name). What a ludicrous detail to not provide - an address!! Speak to a lawyer if you can, but from what little you've said: and barring that your a stalker and he has a Restraining Order against you (j/k) - you certainly have a legitimate right to know where your child is.
LostFather
New member
Wtf is this with, withholding access shit. Really does it make a shit load of difference? Should he give the info, yes! Should you give info on where your child is at daycare...yes! Denying access if you don't get the info, not on your life...not at this point....its not your decision. I mean really. How do know he already didn't send that info or communication got lost somewhere. I am not saying it did...but. ..'just not be there'?? Let him call the cops??? Arbitrarily deny access??? For what??? An address...another nutjob!!! wanting take away access as if they're the judge. Are you freakin kidding me.
Who says he doesn't go away for the weekend...you have to know that too?? Do you tell you ex everywhere you go for a couple of days? Do they have the address and number?
Ask for the info...ask again if necessary....don't withhold access. What's the matter with people?? If he's an ass for not giving the info...denying court ordered access you're in contempt. No order...in my opinion you're just an idiot for denying access. There is no danger here.
I am sorry to pounce but I am sick and tired of people either suggesting to, or deny access for every little thing....guy doesn't blow his nose right....keep his kids away from him....doesn't wipe his ass to moms liking...keep his kids from him.
This is going to be the first weekend...just moved...I don't know...forgot maybe?? and its only Wed....well early morning hours of Thurs. already premeditating about denying access.....un f'ing believable! Using children as a weapons is just plain disgusting in my books.
Tayken
Well-known member
1. Every parent has the right to know where their children sleep at night, every night. This is a common theme echoed by many professionals in the divorce industry. (Unless otherwise ordered by the court.)
2. You can do up a Form 20 (Request for Information) sign it yourself, scan it in and email it to the other parent. Keep the request simple and to the point. Just basically ask for the residential location and telephone number for the property. Don't go into any details, just ask for the information.
3. Do not threaten a motion or anything. The Form 20 is very clear on what could happen should the other parent not respond in time.
4. Patiently wait for disclosure per your request under the rules. Don't harass the other parent for the information. When the time frame as set on the Form 20 is up prepare a very basic affidavit (one-two pages at most) and attach the email and Form 20 as evidence and file a motion requesting costs.
Good Luck!
Tayken
Tayken
Well-known member
I couldn't agree more. Withholding access is not within your rights. Access is a right of the child and as a parent you are demonstrating to the court that you are high-conflict and cannot put your needs before the needs of your child.
Furthermore, if there is a written agreement or order to facilitate your children's access you can find yourself at the end of a motion for contempt. Especially if you have threatened to withhold access for any reason and then do.
The FLA and CLRA are in place for a reason. They are there to serve both litigants. No one should ever take the law into their own hands like this.
Good Luck!
Tayken
tugofwar
New member
hadenough
New member
Lost Father: ahhh another name-calling rant. You should stick to the point and the topic. You go off on a tirade about denying access? The only idiot in this is the one who won't provide simple information to the mother concerning a 4 year old child. You on the other hand, apparently start your morning off with a cup of verbal abuse. Try coffee instead.
LostFather
New member
Ahhhh my response was to you giving someone advice to intentionally break the law and a 'how to' manual to get it done. This advice is asinine. You give advice of what you would or have done, if in a similar situation. Speaks volumes as to you as a parent, presumably you're a parent. In my opinion.
I couldn't give a rats ass if you think it was a rant or tirade, last time I checked this is Canada, not China. To deny access not only affects the intended target...the other parent, It also effects the child. Something, that by the sounds of things you care little about.
There are other avenues that need to be exhausted as others have posted here.
Denying access is something that a lot of fathers in here have needlessly been subjected to. For you to stand up and promote the denying of access is inciting.
hadenough
New member
Whatever. I also said speak to a lawyer. I also agreed w/the other postings (besides your bs). Go argue w/someone else. There are good parents and bad. Male and Female. You, are abusive, sarcastic and obviously an angry person. I'm not responding to any further remarks from you and you can stick your judgments - well - I think you know where. Have a great Day!
tugofwar
New member
Tayken
Well-known member
An "emergency" ex-parte motion is very serious business. I highly recommend you consult a solicitor before even thinking about something like this.
1. You are asking the court to violate the Charter of Rights and Freedom to representation at a motion.
2. Judges do not look kindly at parents who pull stunts with "emergency" ex-parte motions. You could find yourself without custody to your children.
3. "emergency" ex-parte motions have a purpose. Do not abuse them as the more people who do will make it difficult for those truly in need to use them. They are for the most extreme abusive situations. Not because you cannot get along with the other parent.
4. To file a non-emergency ex-parte motion that gets rejected will demonstrate you are a) high conflict b) unable to resolve issues c) are hiding something.
5. The requirements for an emergency ex-parte motion are incredibly high and the standards for evidence and relevance are expected. You have to tell the whole story, just not what you want heard. Expect a cross motion with cogent evidence and a real uphill battle after.
6. Affidavits are known to contain piles of lies. Any action in court that starts on an ex-parte motion ends at trial. The result of most ex-parte motions now are trials where witnesses are cross examined. It is easy to lie on paper and judges all know this.
Good Luck!
Tayken
Tayken
Well-known member
The withholding of information such as this is often demonstrative of a "controlling" person potentially. Although not critical information the fact that the other parent isn't providing the information is concerning.
They think they are being creative. Don't let it get to you. You have options on obtaining this information through proper channels.
Good Luck!
Tayken
hadenough
New member
My court and truial are done. I just feel really badly for tug of war b/c their son is of such a young age and her ex is employing these foolish games. It's sad. I don't plan on going to file any motions or ex-partes. I'd love nothing more than to never enter a Court again but that's not very likely. My ex is all about playing games and its a complicated mess. I'm just glad my child is already 13 and yes he does see his father alternate wknds (when father doesn't cancel or claim to be "sick" at the last minute. Thx for the detailed information.
Tayken
Well-known member
It is very interesting to see people's interpretation of "verbal abuse".
Applying scales to your response you have been verbally abusive in the following ways:
1. You insulted the poster's intelligence.
2. You provided no particulars to what you disagree with in the original post by the person you insulted.
3. You did not provide even your position on the matter of access denial as the original poster did.
4. You yourself called the poster abusive.
Although the delivery of the content was done in a colourful way by the original poster whom you are responding to... The information, between the emotion, was all cogent, correct and relevant. You did not provide any response other than an insult or even attempt to counter the argument (or support it).
Verbal abuse is such an over used term in our court system. It is often miss used. The original message you were responding to was not written to cause psychological harm but, to communicate a point. You may disagree with the style it was written but, it would be interesting to see your response to the content.
Good Luck!
Tayken
tugofwar
New member
Controlling.... hmmm. More like a deranged way of thinking.... like it's not my business where they live.... if they wanted to move to timbucktoo they could but since the child will be there also, then I have every right in knowing the whereabouts of child during "their time" with the child even though this is not the case cause the little time they have, the child spends with others....
LostFather
New member
Tug I've never said you don't have the right know know where they live, but thats as far as it goes. I also don't believe anyone else said that either.
What I am saying is, its not right to withhold access, not saying you would do that either.
As far as you having the right to know where you ex is throughout the weekend other than their home, no I do not believe that is your right. His parenting time is just that, his.
Now if he's going out of the country then thats a different story. If he goes out of province, unless you have a specific clause saying that both of you must inform each other, I am not sure that you'd have much say, other than to put it in front of a judge to see if its reasonable or not. But you know tug. All of what you ask should go both ways.
What I am saying is, its not right to withhold access, not saying you would do that either.
As far as you having the right to know where you ex is throughout the weekend other than their home, no I do not believe that is your right. His parenting time is just that, his.
Now if he's going out of the country then thats a different story. If he goes out of province, unless you have a specific clause saying that both of you must inform each other, I am not sure that you'd have much say, other than to put it in front of a judge to see if its reasonable or not. But you know tug. All of what you ask should go both ways.
blinkandimgone
Moderator
Perhaps you could let him know that since you have plans with the child prior to his next scheduled visit time you'll drop the kidlet off rather than him having to come out and do the pickup - and of course you'll need the address....
Tayken
Well-known member
Brilliant recommendation.
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