Can I demand to know that my CS is going to my kids ?

plainNamedDad44

plainNamedDad44

New member
Hi All,

I have 4 beautiful kids, I am beginning to have access to. I pay 2500.00/month in CS. stbx is staying with her parents, claims to be paying 1800.00/month in rent, which I think is complete and utter baloney.

Now that I have access, I seem to have to take the kids shopping for shoes and cloths a lot, which I am happy to do. They're my kids. She is obsessed with $$ and material items, as exhibited by her swiping stuff from the marital home while I am not there.

Anyway this raises questions as to whether she has been spending the money on the children.

Can I demand an accounting of how the money has been spent on my children and not her lawyers ?

as usual thanks.

peace.
 
Simple answer... No

With that being said, I think a lot of paying parties feel they have a right to know, but unfortunately, you do not. As long as the kids are clothed, fed and have a roof over their head, that is all that matters.

We are in the same boat and are constantly buying the kids new shoes and clothes, it got to the point where we stopped sending them home, so we have a full wardrobe at our place. It seemed like Mom was sending them in ridiculous clothing, knowing we would buy them new stuff, however it is now apparent, she just doesn't buy them new clothes.
 
Berner_Faith said:
Simple answer... No

With that being said, I think a lot of paying parties feel they have a right to know, but unfortunately, you do not. As long as the kids are clothed, fed and have a roof over their head, that is all that matters.

We are in the same boat and are constantly buying the kids new shoes and clothes, it got to the point where we stopped sending them home, so we have a full wardrobe at our place. It seemed like Mom was sending them in ridiculous clothing, knowing we would buy them new stuff, however it is now apparent, she just doesn't buy them new clothes.
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BF, thank you for your response. That seems horribly unfair and unscrupulous.
 
Not at all. Your ex can take that child support, and head down to the casino, or use it to take a vacation for herself. There is nothing in family law or child support, that actually makes sure that child support is used towards the children.

Try not to think about it.

I take it you are paying table amount support, for your 4 kids?
 
Nope!

And therein lies the problem. I think some reform is needed in this aspect. I know a person whose income was imputed on them. They were self employed but gave up due to the crazy hours and stress. They took a 9-5 job and the judge imputed an income based on 20k more than what they currently make. They are having issues paying the cs. But they do so. Then one day last winter, they have the kid for the weekend and he's wearing rainboots. Not anything insulated, or Bogs, etc. Plain rubber boots. The kid's feet were freezing. So they went and bought new boots etc. It was just one example of the kid not having the proper necessities. They noticed when they took the kid home, about how the other parent was dressed, hair and nails done etc.

If I ever received cs, I'd have no issues with maintaining some accounting with regards to the cs. I really think we need some reform.
 
dad2bandm said:
Not at all. Your ex can take that child support, and head down to the casino, or use it to take a vacation for herself. There is nothing in family law or child support, that actually makes sure that child support is used towards the children.

Try not to think about it.

I take it you are paying table amount support, for your 4 kids?
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Even better.....give it to her new boyfriend who might not have a job, for him to buy drugs and alcohol, as long as she hears those 3 words.."I love you"
 
dad2bandm said:
Not at all. Your ex can take that child support, and head down to the casino, or use it to take a vacation for herself. There is nothing in family law or child support, that actually makes sure that child support is used towards the children.

Try not to think about it.

I take it you are paying table amount support, for your 4 kids?
Click to expand...


yes, that's right.
 
Goddamn it. I hate that my kids and me are being used like this. I can't win financially unless I let my kids where ratty shoes, which I can't do.

Oh well.
 
Multiple kids in this day and age......just imagine how many men are miserable in the marriage, and can't get out because of this, knowing that it's going to cost them.
 
plainNamedDad44 said:
Goddamn it. I hate that my kids and me are being used like this. I can't win financially unless I let my kids where ratty shoes, which I can't do.

Oh well.
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It will eat you alive if you think about it too much. The only thing you can do is try to find a way to ignore it.

My ex has spent hundreds on court transcripts, vehicle rentals, laptops, cell phones, etc, yet can't afford $60 for pizza days. It's only a case and a half of beer (which he buys regularly) or 6 days of smoking. Infuriates me if I start thinking about it so I try not to...*sigh*
 
Can you keep good stuff at your place? Have the kid take them off before they leave? Or would you not be comfortable with that? Unfortunately, you have to decide how much you are going to let your ex control stuff.
 
You can demand anything you want. You won't get it but you can demand it. If the ratty old shoe were on the other foot, would you want to tell the ex what every dollar you spent went towards and if it came from 'your' money or 'hers'?
 
blinkandimgone said:
You can demand anything you want. You won't get it but you can demand it. If the ratty old shoe were on the other foot, would you want to tell the ex what every dollar you spent went towards and if it came from 'your' money or 'hers'?
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Probably not but when there are some blantant miss uses, and to be fair to everyone, perhaps its whats necessary.
 
The comments in this thread is exactly why you can't demand to know.
On one side you sometimes get parents who can save money and put the extra money from CS that they don't use away for collage, then you get the parents that waste the money.
On the other end you can get parents who would want to control right down to the brand of coat their child wears and aren't going to pay for anything else. And you have parents who would prefer their ex shops at value village, or city dump.
By having accountability of child support the courts would be tied up forever with conflict, that is probably why they don't have it accountable.

That said if you child it clearly lacking the necessities while the mother is living the high life. then I would document for 6+ months all the cloths that have gone missing, all the cloths that you have had replace and cloths that you have to buy for your place.
Then I would go into court and ask for that amount per month in a reduction of the CS.
Explain the purpose of child support and what it's suppose to cover. With the documentation you have provided who know what will happen.
Don't know if someone has done this or not.
But they do allow reduction in CS for some things, such as mobility and cost of transportation, maybe a judge would allow it for cloths which should be covered under CS.
 
plainNamedDad44 said:
Hi All,

I have 4 beautiful kids, I am beginning to have access to. I pay 2500.00/month in CS. stbx is staying with her parents, claims to be paying 1800.00/month in rent, which I think is complete and utter baloney.

Now that I have access, I seem to have to take the kids shopping for shoes and cloths a lot, which I am happy to do. They're my kids. She is obsessed with $$ and material items, as exhibited by her swiping stuff from the marital home while I am not there.

Anyway this raises questions as to whether she has been spending the money on the children.

Can I demand an accounting of how the money has been spent on my children and not her lawyers ?

as usual thanks.

peace.
Click to expand...

Were the funds successfully received by the other side?
That's all you need to know.

Just because you think it should go to shoes or whatever, doesn't mean the other side has to show you anything. It is completely their decision to do whatever they want with it. Even it is to buy crack.

And that's the way it should be, unless they are actually buying crack.
 
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