Laws vary from province to province. If you are in Ontario, in a common law situation she has absolutely zero claim to your house.
DO NOT offer her $20,000 and the car. You do not owe her a single penny.
The only family law issue in Ontario for common law couples is spousal support. She earns more than you so this not an issue whatsoever.
In some cases if you have been raising the children together she may seek child support even if they are not your children. This is not automatic, she has to prove in court that you acted as a parent and were supporting them. If she was buying their clothes, paying for school activities and sports, taking them to the doctor, making all medical decisions, etc etc then she cannot prove that you acted as a parent and guardian. She would have to prove this FIRST, then she could talk about support, it is not automatic.
If I were you I would not mention support at all, period, don't put ideas into anyone's head.
You need to assert yourself, this isn't personal advice, it is what you need to do to establish your legal postition.
- make sure any joint bank accounts and credit cards or lines of credit are frozen or closed immediately. Do it yesterday, you WILL get screwed over if you leave these open.
- inform her by letter, registered mail, with a copy via email (email is a good form to use for court evidence, it has a date and time and shows that it came from you and went to her, it is as good as a registered letter) that you are considering your relationship ended and she is to vacate the home within 30 days.
- Add to the letter that if she requires more time to move, you will listen to a reasonable request as long as it has a clear moving date; it is a clear statement (if you have to go to court later) that you gave her notice of eviction, that you were prepared to be reasonable and negotiate and that nothing was unclear to her about the situation
- Later if you have to get an eviction and use the Sherriff, you may have to end up giving her more than 30 days, or perhaps not, but be assertive now and make sure she knows she is on the way out
- IN A SEPARATE LETTER (registered and with a copy via email) state that she has no legal claim to the vehicle, you are taking her off of the insurance and reposessing it. You require the keys to be returned immediately and if she continues to use the vehicle you will report it to the police and insurance as being stolen.
- You state that under the Ontario Family Law Act you do not owe her any money or property as a former common law spouse.
- You may physically remove any of her personal items from your bedroom and move them to the basement or a spare room. You may not remove her property from the home unless you get an eviction notice
Be careful about the type of lawyer you see, many storefront lawyers who are general practitioners have no idea about how to handle a separation. Right now I do not think you necessarily need a divorce lawyer/family law specialist, you don't owe her anything and just need her gone. You do need to speak to a civil lawyer with experience in evictions for at least a consulation and to clarify the processes I've mentioned here.
She does not have any claim to the car or property, she has only the rights of a tenant, except she hasn't paid any rent. Right now she is just a bad room mate, you have to approach the situation from that direction.
If she tries to make a family law claim against your property or for support, then that is the time to see an experienced divorce lawyer. Don't waste your money on it just yet.
.