Broken Glasses

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wretchedotis

wretchedotis

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My five year old son has apparently broken his glasses.

His Mom is asking for money to replace them, and to buy a second pair for future similar events.

Now I don't really have a problem paying for my kid, or the things he needs.
But I do have a problem that the whole world figures it is my responsability and duty to pay cash - but I'm not allowed to have shared custody because Mom just figures she knows better being a woman. The Responsabilities and Duties I do want and have sought - denied by MOM. But wow is she ever quick to remind me of my financial obligations.

But anyways...
Broken glasses - yes of course. I'll buy him glasses. KID needs to see.
But a second pair? Am I on the hook for that?
 
wretchedotis said:
The Responsabilities and Duties I do want and have sought - denied by MOM.
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MOM does not have the power or ability to deny you anything.

As for the glasses, think of it as an investment in your future. I want my kids to do well in school (and that means buying glasses) so they can get good jobs and so be able to afford a really nice old folks home for me.

Do you have an SA or an Order that details responsibilities for things like that?

Cheers!

Gary
 
We have an Order which stipulates CS and proportion of Section 7 blah blah blah.

But is a 2nd pair of glasses considered necessary and therefore part of section 7 (or whatever)?
Don't get me wrong, I want glasses on his face - I just don't really want to fork out more money for a 2nd sett to be held "just in case".

**Maybe I'm not being clear.
I'm asking if its necessary for me buy a 'third' set, at the same time as a 'second' set which replaces the broken pair.

It's not even that bad of an idea for him to have a spare pair - but two pairs at once is not cheap.
 
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Gary M said:
As for the glasses, think of it as an investment in your future. I want my kids to do well in school (and that means buying glasses) so they can get good jobs and so be able to afford a really nice old folks home for me.
Gary
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IMHO investment in future from my point of view is to work with kid so he will not need glasses at all. As soon you put glasses on you doomed....

Do some research on The cure of imperfect sight by treatment without glasses» (New York city. Central Fixation Publishing Company, 1920).

Beleave me this work. And if ophthalmologic tell you he do not believe in it. Just keep in mind that he is like lawyer saying to you that you need him in court. Glasses, contacts etc billions of dollars a year industry - nobody interested in for people to know that in most of the cases they can restore their sight... Good luck
 
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I say just get the extra set. It make sense. Kids are hard on their glasses and they will break or get lost or something. Having a second pair on hand means the child will not go without. You will have to pay the money anyway at some point.

Why don't you ask her to look into one of those 2nd set for free places or get the glasses made at Costco? I'm sure both of you would want to save money. Fact is kid needs glasses and as a parent you pay for them.

Working Dad, so are you saying if the Dr. told you ypour child needed glasses you would not provide them? :eek:
 
mrsb said:
I say just get the extra set. It make sense. Kids are hard on their glasses and they will break or get lost or something. Having a second pair on hand means the child will not go without. You will have to pay the money anyway at some point.

Why don't you ask her to look into one of those 2nd set for free places or get the glasses made at Costco? I'm sure both of you would want to save money. Fact is kid needs glasses and as a parent you pay for them.

Working Dad, so are you saying if the Dr. told you ypour child needed glasses you would not provide them? :eek:
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What I am saying that glasses is road in wrong direction. Glasses not fixing anything - actually opposite. In short term yes you can see better right now but in long run it make things worse... Just do some reading on a book what I am saying. I know real people who get read of their glasses in 3 month... And they had them for years !!!!

Or you saying that you should not questioning what doctor says to you?
 
Are you suggesting people should listen to you rather than the advice of their doctor? Hmmm, I think not.

I don't believe the OP asked if his child should have glasses or not, the question was in regards to paying for a spare pair.
 
blinkandimgone said:
Are you suggesting people should listen to you rather than the advice of their doctor? Hmmm, I think not.

I don't believe the OP asked if his child should have glasses or not, the question was in regards to paying for a spare pair.
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I am suggesting that people should keep their mind open and keep looking ... At the and of the day it's personal choice. For myself personally I would not forgive myself the fact that I knew about possibilities for my kid to not wear glasses and did not even try to do something about that...

I am not a doctor by any means but as I said I know REAL PEOPLE WHOM I DID POINT TO Bates theory and THEY DO NOT WEAR GLASSES NOW...

And I replayed to Gary's message about glasses as investment

Unfortunately I can not closely work with my little guy but at least I provided all info to his mom hoping she will work with him and I for sure will do exercises when I will have him for longer time ...
 
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Buy the glasses, at a pro-rated amount AFTER benefits are applied. If you get it at a place like Vogue Optical (who have the second pair free policy) then they will typically let you either defer getting the second pair right away, give you a small discount on the costs if you forgo it/etc.

I think the last pair I bought my son cost me $5 after benefits. Make sure they have a kid friendly warranty, OR buy one of the (slighty) more expensive types that bend at the nose joint and arms. The only way to break my son's frames at this point is to take a pair of pliers to them. I know the place I take them to boasts free replacement on anything accidental...since he's a 6 year old EVERYTHING is accidental :D
 
So I think what I got out of the original post is,why do I have all the rights to my child taken away, but it is still my responsibility to pay for a child that I have no rights to be a parent to? Unfortunatly unless we can get more people acting politically and getting out in the media that will not change, its reality for way to many parents across the country. If it makes you feel better, why not ask if you can hold onto the spare set of glasses at your place? That way if he needs them you can guarantee they are safe and ready for him when he may need them.
 
You are responsible for supporting your child regardless of whether you have access or not.

You can personally try to take political action to tie access and control to support obligations, but you won't get support from me or most people and there is no existing legal basis for this.

If you have problems with exercising your legal access then you take this issue to the courts and existing laws are there to deal with it. If the mother ignores the court order you can find her in contempt, seek enforcement of the order, seek change of custody etc.

You may have ideas for changes to laws related to access but remember that any changes are a two edged sword, they can also make reasonable custodial parents at the mercy of unreasonable NCPs, so changes to the laws will be subject to consideration and scrutiny by all sides.
 
Back in my day, I needed glasses while I didn't know my sight was bad I thought everybody saw like me. So I tried to sit at the front of the class. I still couldn't see the board and I became a disruptive for the rest of the class so, the teacher moved me to the back of the class. Now, I really couldn't see anything and became a bigger distraction. It wasn't till they started the eye test in schools. Finally, they figured out the problem, I got my glasses, my life became instantly enriched and finally, I became a normal student.

The first pair of glasses I had were guaranteed for everything, for a year. I used to demonstrate this guarantee to my friends by chucking them around...they never broke till after the first year during one of those demonstrations.

Glasses have changed sooo much. If I still had glasses today the way they made them back then; they would be huge coke bottles. In fact, that’s what the kids called them back then.

My first pair were repaired and kept just in case something happened to my new pair. The old pair was held together with some tape across the bridge. I did have the occasion to wear them again. Sure made me appreciate and take care of the new pair after the remorseless barrage of teasing from the other kids.

Today, my daughters glasses include the optional high intensity glass, it's liter then regular (I think there was a medium), thinner 10X thinner then the coke bottles, more expensive. Another thing to think about is Sun glasses. I can see having a second pair of glasses for outdoor purposes but let’s get serious about young children and managing 2 pairs of glasses. So we went for the Photochromic lens. Also, more expensive but well worth it as protection against UV. Add $$ for fashionable things like the frames...it really can add up. So, maybe rather than 2 pairs some options could be investigated.

As a child, I believe I treated my glasses like a prosthetic and respected the richness they provided for my life. I believe my daughter has that. I had the corrective eye surgery and for about a year thereafter I still took my non-existent glasses off my nose when I went to bed or, stepped into the shower...lol. The minute it becomes safe for my daughter to have corrective eye surgery, I will get her that too.
 
It seems simple - a second pair of glasses is not medically necessary.

If you don't want to spend money to get a second pair (you don't see the benefit), then don't. S7 have to be justifiable, and you are being reasonable that they arguably are not.
 
fireweb13 said:
So I think what I got out of the original post is,why do I have all the rights to my child taken away, but it is still my responsibility to pay for a child that I have no rights to be a parent to? Unfortunatly unless we can get more people acting politically and getting out in the media that will not change, its reality for way to many parents across the country. If it makes you feel better, why not ask if you can hold onto the spare set of glasses at your place? That way if he needs them you can guarantee they are safe and ready for him when he may need them.
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It seems you have captured the thrust of my post.
This sentiment is very true, in my opinion.
I'm not saying this is the way life is - but it sure FEELS like it sometimes.
And yes, it makes me a smaller man that it bothers me - but why fight so hard for SOLE custody without taking on SOLE responsability to pay for the kids glasses too?
 
wretchedotis said:
It seems you have captured the thrust of my post.
This sentiment is very true, in my opinion.
I'm not saying this is the way life is - but it sure FEELS like it sometimes.
And yes, it makes me a smaller man that it bothers me - but why fight so hard for SOLE custody without taking on SOLE responsability to pay for the kids glasses too?
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It FEELS like that for me all the times. And if you take a look of court ruling and how family law in Canada "working" that exactly what happening ... :(
 
Because you are a walking bank machine, not a father anymore. You gave up all rights to being a father when you and your ex broke up.
 
Yea....
and than you read some studies which confirm that so many father gave up on kids because of all that pain and nothing left basically... And later by age 10 kid will hate both - mother for what she did to father and father for the fact he gave up and did not fight till his death ...

I barely has any memories about my father. In University I decided to go and meet with him after not saying him for more than 10 years. Also hoping he will give me some monies so I can eat twice a day at least... He did not even recognize me. After I showed him my passport and compare his family name and mine he finally realized who I am ... So we went to his home. Talk little bit. There was two little kids running around dirty and just painful to look at.
To his credit he gave me some monies even without me to ask. I would not ask by myself even dying...

I remember sitting there and really feeling that I just want to leave as soon as possible. In the same time I was asking my self really hard why I do not feel anything to this man. He is my father and I do not have any feelings toward him. I do not even hate him.

But my mom really helped me. She married man whom I did not call father even once for 12 years. And I remember another night when he came back from work drunk and decided that it's perfect time to show me some life lessons one more time trying to convince me that I am bastard (born without father) and show his physical superior against me (150 kg against ~50). So I have to retrieve. And retrieve fast. I throw my pants out thru open balcony door (because I would not have time to put them on) and climbing down from 3rd floor using balcony rails to the ground in my underwear. After found my pants and sit outside before he fall a sleep I promised my self if I ever should have a kid he should NEVER EVER EVER EVER go through this. I have to be there for him every time he need me....

Now here I am. Have to fight not only for him but for me as a kid because nobody fight for me. But I wanted it so bad on thous moments ...

That what still keep me going even understanding that it's killing me little by little and will come that moment when nothing will left - I meant literally nothing ...
 
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