Blame ...

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hubby

hubby

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Well, ya know, this word tends to come up so much in seperation/divorce situations on this board, I believe it warrents some attention.

You hear all to often ... Its your fault that ..., If you would have just did ...

One spouse pitting the blame square on the shoulders of another spouse. Hmm, interesting aint it.

So what is blame and why do we blame others for our problems and not ourselves? How destructive is blame to a relationship? What can be done to turn it around to be more constructive rather than destructive?

Blame is blind ...
Blame keeps us stuck ...
Blame is unjustified ...
Blame hurts ...
Blame jeopardizes ...

Hubby
 
Divorce is an attack on the soul. It makes us question our own value. We often ask how could someone we once loved do this to us? People hurt others because they have to justify what they are doing. In addition, divorce can bring out the worst in the good people. If you have been through a divorce or are going through a divorce realize that during a divorce people do and say things that hurt their spouse. If you can step back long enough to realize that you are a person of great worth you will have begun the healing process. Further, if you do not engage in the blame game you will also heal sooner.
 
Another thought on Blame

Another thought on Blame

People engage in vindictive behaviour as a means to "unattach" from their former relationship. It becomes their mechanism for allowing themselves to let go of their former partner, and ultimately to attach to someone new. It's just a normal part of the grieving process, unfortunately. It does need to be understood so that people going through divorce know where they are in the cycle and recognize the signs and symptoms. Under all the emotion, there is some rationale.
 
hubby said:
Blame is blind ...
Blame keeps us stuck ...
Blame is unjustified ...
Blame hurts ...
Blame jeopardizes ...

Hubby
Click to expand...

...SOOO TRUE!!!

It's human's nature to blame when things go wrong. Without blame, this world would be a better place for all of us.

Especially in devastating cases like divorce, blame always take part of it. But in the end, I think children suffer through the most.

Yikes, such a sad topic, we should all work together to get rid of it.

:)
 
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