My employer wants to understand why my separated spouse (no separation agreement, living apart since May 15th and can prove it) is still on my benefits. This has not been discussed in our mediation meetings (not that we're getting anywhere but that's another posting). He doesn't work, wants me to support him indefinately (after all, I wanted the divorce), claims to be disabled (doctors for MS and asthma advise not disabled - go work) and wants to be continued on my benefits (which are partly paid for by employer). I've put in the paperwork to have him removed from my benefits effective August 1st (and have not advised him yet). I haven't given him a heads up as I would expect him to try to get a court order to have them continued. Is there anything I should know from other's experience what to expect? I should also mention, we have a son, 21, still in University and I have not received a cent from "Dad". Am I being unreasonable to want him off my benefits? He hasn't worked in 8 yrs, hence the divorce!
Benefits - (spouse Not child)
- Thread starter mrix
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FL_Needs_To_Change
Moderator
If the situation were reversed, I feel that the courts would certainly allow a claim to have benefits continue until retirement or termination of benefits.
He sounds like a person using their disability a little too hard.
I think you would have to prove he is capable of employment, and even then a court may still feel that because he enjoyed these benefits for 8 years during the marriage they should continue. But because he is a man, I feel the courts may look at the claim differently. I know they shouldn't but I feel they may. Has he ever mentioned spousal support? Again if the roles were revered a claim for SS would be considered by the courts.
As for the 21 year old son, you know you are entitled to support for him by way of some level of financial help towards his education costs.
I see you as simply wanting to move on.
And in order to do that one tie left to cut is him to your employment benefits.
He sounds like a person using their disability a little too hard.
I think you would have to prove he is capable of employment, and even then a court may still feel that because he enjoyed these benefits for 8 years during the marriage they should continue. But because he is a man, I feel the courts may look at the claim differently. I know they shouldn't but I feel they may. Has he ever mentioned spousal support? Again if the roles were revered a claim for SS would be considered by the courts.
As for the 21 year old son, you know you are entitled to support for him by way of some level of financial help towards his education costs.
I see you as simply wanting to move on.
And in order to do that one tie left to cut is him to your employment benefits.
Thank you. He hasn't mentionned SS for about 2 months now. Most likely because his previous employer erred and owes him a substantial pension adjustment which I've indicated is half mine. We're kind of in "limbo" right now. He doesn't need the money, we sold the house (paid for) and split 50/50. He is very capable of working - he cross country skies, golfs, bikes, etc. His doctors have cleared him to work. However, he plays and enjoys the "poor" me. I do want to move on as I'm tired of being used for just a bank account. I appreciate your comments and need to cut the remaining tie.
FL_Needs_To_Change
Moderator
Here's a thought, do you have any pictures of him enjoying his favourite sports?
And do you have a copy of something written that clears him to work?
Both of these would go a long way to show he is just manipulating the situation.
If he is able to work, he is able to secure benefits to cover himself.
I have a female friend that was granted this and the former spouse was ordered to keep her on his benefits until he retired.
She still works but does not have benefits of her own.
After retirement, all pensions for the duration of co-habitation (and marriage) were to be split. Any pension outside the time frame of co-habitation was/is not entitled for splitting.
This seems like the case for you as well.
And do you have a copy of something written that clears him to work?
Both of these would go a long way to show he is just manipulating the situation.
If he is able to work, he is able to secure benefits to cover himself.
I have a female friend that was granted this and the former spouse was ordered to keep her on his benefits until he retired.
She still works but does not have benefits of her own.
After retirement, all pensions for the duration of co-habitation (and marriage) were to be split. Any pension outside the time frame of co-habitation was/is not entitled for splitting.
This seems like the case for you as well.
Oncebitten1
New member
I don't know how old your son was when you separated but since your son is 21 now your husband doesn't owe you any CS. If he reneged on CS payments then you can sue him for those, so can your son for that matter (retro support). Your spouse can stay on your benefits plan because you are not officially divorced. Same is true for any life insurance plan you have.
dumbfounded666
New member
Dont take him off, the law states that along with SS you must continue benefit coverage and a company can not refuse them until you are divorced. My ex screwed up trying to put in a prescription and though I cut her benefits off. THE NEXT DAY I was served with a motion to return to court, I proved I had not done it and the justice ordered me to leave her on them, still awaiting to see if I get stuck with costs for that one too
dumbfounded666
New member
ha ha ha, good catch!!!!
dadtotheend
New member
Check out post #6 here http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f7/how-do-i-cut-all-ties-4522/
Now THAT's a good catch!!
Now THAT's a good catch!!
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