Tayken
Well-known member
Interesting position. I can't say I disagree with your position.
being a male, will possibly get spousal support
- Thread starter jays2017
- Start date
Interesting position. I can't say I disagree with your position.
response
response
really not fair for my wife if we have to split her rrsps and savings...as i basically have nothing from savings as most of the money i had was to pay off quickly the mortgage with her...i know she has lots of savings and rrsp..and to have that possibly split in two..i dont think she will like that...but on the other hand i have a pension through work..so she can go after that...through my work we have the employee assistance program and just got off with a law person who asks about my situation and mentions have good chance for sposal support but that was just a 10 minute chat on the phone ..thant law person than refers you to another lawyer which i will meet tomorrow for 30 minutes face to face ,,what things should i bring up on my 30 minute constulation...i am greatful to have found this site as the people on here have been very greatful...
response
really not fair for my wife if we have to split her rrsps and savings...as i basically have nothing from savings as most of the money i had was to pay off quickly the mortgage with her...i know she has lots of savings and rrsp..and to have that possibly split in two..i dont think she will like that...but on the other hand i have a pension through work..so she can go after that...through my work we have the employee assistance program and just got off with a law person who asks about my situation and mentions have good chance for sposal support but that was just a 10 minute chat on the phone ..thant law person than refers you to another lawyer which i will meet tomorrow for 30 minutes face to face ,,what things should i bring up on my 30 minute constulation...i am greatful to have found this site as the people on here have been very greatful...
Again, any assets accumulated during the marriage will be considered joint and split. This includes the house which you helped pay off and the savings, rrsps and pensions. You will need to go about getting information on your pension.
Dont go in there telling the lawyer you WANT ss, go in asking how you go about the process and what the best and worst case scenarios are.
Going through a congenial divorce where you can actually agree on things will save you money. You could also try mediation before court action which will also save you money.
Remember that any money you would have walked away with will be eaten up by your legal fees. Difficult divorces and custody disputes START at about 15-25 grand. You could be looking at paying a lawyer in the range of 30 if you want to be difficult and go after what you think you deserve versus what you actually deserve.
Dont go in there telling the lawyer you WANT ss, go in asking how you go about the process and what the best and worst case scenarios are.
Going through a congenial divorce where you can actually agree on things will save you money. You could also try mediation before court action which will also save you money.
Remember that any money you would have walked away with will be eaten up by your legal fees. Difficult divorces and custody disputes START at about 15-25 grand. You could be looking at paying a lawyer in the range of 30 if you want to be difficult and go after what you think you deserve versus what you actually deserve.
Life could be so easy if you just sat down as 2 educated adults and worked out a plan. Sell,the big family home both purchase equitable properties in the same school zone. Agree to a 1 week on/off schedule. Calculate the offset child support and split all,the benefits.
Sort out your personal possessions and the household furniture and move on. FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN
Work out your current pension value vs the income that could be garnished from your wife’s RRSPs and create an equalized plan.
OH and take the $30-40k you will waste in court each as a down payment on your new homes.
OR
YOU CAN GO TO COURT, WITH LAWYERS firing on full pistol and waste 40K each and your kids suffer.
Honestly no one wi s when you are fighting through lawyers for stuff. You can purchase more stuff, save more money and learn to live within your means. But you can never give back to your child the sense of security they feel when parent s are working things out in their best interest.
You don’t want to drag your children through this.
Sort out your personal possessions and the household furniture and move on. FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN
Work out your current pension value vs the income that could be garnished from your wife’s RRSPs and create an equalized plan.
OH and take the $30-40k you will waste in court each as a down payment on your new homes.
OR
YOU CAN GO TO COURT, WITH LAWYERS firing on full pistol and waste 40K each and your kids suffer.
Honestly no one wi s when you are fighting through lawyers for stuff. You can purchase more stuff, save more money and learn to live within your means. But you can never give back to your child the sense of security they feel when parent s are working things out in their best interest.
You don’t want to drag your children through this.
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trinton
Banned
Except for it's the other way around. When a man wants SS, he doesn't get it. The same set of facts reversed, the women get's SS. So yes, the women is a leech because she knows she will get it, like a leech.
I think it has something to do with the bias of the system.
standing on the sidelines
New member
The reason I used the word gets and wants was to reflect the fact the man in this case wants it but hasnt got it yet.
Some posters attack women on this site for even mentioning about applying for SS.
So if the man in this case gets SS then according to you he is a leech?
trinton
Banned
No. If the man in this case gets SS then he is a lucky bastard.
arabian
New member
^yep that kind of says it all - 'tarded response from a biased poster.
I just hope the poster does his math and gets quotes from lawyers he is visiting. I know that the lawyer will, first of all, have the poster fill out a financial statement (lawyer wants to know how much "is in the file" and how much he can stand to make off of the fellow). The next step is to tell the client what he wants to hear. Poster has to have the smarts to ask the lawyer what lawyer is basing his numbers on (SSAG or Divorcemate or whatever software the lawyer uses). The poster has to have the self-control to go home and look things up himself. Poster should figure out if the amount he will be spending on lawyer (we all know this can go on for years) is going to be worth it in the end. No lawyer can "guarantee" anything to a client. If he is speaking with competent counsel the lawyer will bring up and stress "offers to settle" but also tell the client how much money it will cost for these. Poster should also ask the lawyer how many expensive "4-way meetings" (which I think are a total waste of time) the lawyer proposes and ask the lawyer how much each 4-way meeting costs. If the lawyer isn't prepared to offer up financial information to satisfy the poster's questions then hopefully the poster will book an appointment to meet with another lawyer.
It is irrelevant whether the poster is male or female. Lawyers fees don't discriminate. My advice is the same regardless of whether female or male.
I just hope the poster does his math and gets quotes from lawyers he is visiting. I know that the lawyer will, first of all, have the poster fill out a financial statement (lawyer wants to know how much "is in the file" and how much he can stand to make off of the fellow). The next step is to tell the client what he wants to hear. Poster has to have the smarts to ask the lawyer what lawyer is basing his numbers on (SSAG or Divorcemate or whatever software the lawyer uses). The poster has to have the self-control to go home and look things up himself. Poster should figure out if the amount he will be spending on lawyer (we all know this can go on for years) is going to be worth it in the end. No lawyer can "guarantee" anything to a client. If he is speaking with competent counsel the lawyer will bring up and stress "offers to settle" but also tell the client how much money it will cost for these. Poster should also ask the lawyer how many expensive "4-way meetings" (which I think are a total waste of time) the lawyer proposes and ask the lawyer how much each 4-way meeting costs. If the lawyer isn't prepared to offer up financial information to satisfy the poster's questions then hopefully the poster will book an appointment to meet with another lawyer.
It is irrelevant whether the poster is male or female. Lawyers fees don't discriminate. My advice is the same regardless of whether female or male.
Rioe
Well-known member
What's not fair about it? Is she the one telling you it's unfair? Don't take her word for it.
You were married for 12 years. You were legally one financial entity. During that time, she increased her RRSPs and savings, and you paid down the mortgage and earned a pension.
Therefore, you evenly divide the increase in her RRSPs, the increase in your pension, the increase in the value of the home, and the increase in all your bank accounts no matter whose name is on them. It's quite fair, and while she may not like it, she would not have much success contesting it.
The division process could take various forms though. Maybe your pension and her RRSPs increased by approximately the same amount and you'll call it a wash. Maybe you'll sell the home and split the proceeds, or maybe she'll qualify for a new mortgage and buy you out.. Maybe you'll keep the paid off home and give her half your pension but let her keep all her RRSPs and savings. It's all negotiable, as long as you both exit the marriage with the same increase in net worth.
You just need to get full financial disclosure and do a bunch of math.
As for spousal, you still need to answer Janus' questions before we can give you good advice on that.
My initial reaction without any yeses to that though, is no, you are not entitled. You have a solid income of $60k, which is plenty for an adult to support themselves on, and you'll be walking away with quite a bit of equalization from the sounds of it.
You should have 30m consultations with several lawyers so you can find one who is a good fit for you. Don't fall for the first one who tells you what you want to hear "of course you should fight for SS!" because many lawyers will see that $475k asset of yours and want the fight to last as long as possible no matter how unreasonable your position, so they can bill you more.
I know we've had posts here about how to interview lawyers. Use the search function to track them down.
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LMAO! This is a joke no matter how you look at it or who is entitled to SS. Not about the children, anyone’s well being, assistance to get over the relationship , or anything feasible. Who can screw over who for how much and for how long. Want to fix it? Eliminate it completely, problem solved!
ifonlyihadknown
New member
In general, you're entitled to what you had before the marriage. You split what you got, as a couple, during the marriage.
The exception is the family home which gets split 50/50, no matter if one partner owned it before the marriage, no matter who paid more or less of the mortgage.
You may be entitled to Spousal Support. Have a read through Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines In general, you are entitled to it if you gave up something (career advancement) to help your STBX or family during the marriage. Or if the separation will leave you in a much worse state financially. Again, read the SSAG documents for a background on how it's supposed to work. The devil is in the details.
As far as your STBX's RRSPs, if the contributions were made during the marriage, you should be entitled to a portion of it.
The first step is for both of you to make a list of your financial assets, their value on the date of marriage, and their value on the date of separation.
The exception is the family home which gets split 50/50, no matter if one partner owned it before the marriage, no matter who paid more or less of the mortgage.
You may be entitled to Spousal Support. Have a read through Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines In general, you are entitled to it if you gave up something (career advancement) to help your STBX or family during the marriage. Or if the separation will leave you in a much worse state financially. Again, read the SSAG documents for a background on how it's supposed to work. The devil is in the details.
As far as your STBX's RRSPs, if the contributions were made during the marriage, you should be entitled to a portion of it.
The first step is for both of you to make a list of your financial assets, their value on the date of marriage, and their value on the date of separation.
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hello for the great advice
the only one that fits my siyuation..number 2...we moved from one city to mississauga so she can be closer to work,,,and that was 10 years ago...for i my work place was still approx the same..
the only one that fits my siyuation..number 2...we moved from one city to mississauga so she can be closer to work,,,and that was 10 years ago...for i my work place was still approx the same..
response
response
hello for the great advice
the only one that fits my situation..number 2...we moved from one city to mississauga so she can be closer to work,,,and that was 10 years ago...for i my work place was still approx the same..
response
hello for the great advice
the only one that fits my situation..number 2...we moved from one city to mississauga so she can be closer to work,,,and that was 10 years ago...for i my work place was still approx the same..
i think i just bit my tongue with last statement as not fair.....just realized my pension from work is approx 300000...mind you thats from when i started into the plan 20 years ago...so i have to figure how much its worth from when first got married 12 years ago,,and she is entitled to half correct..also does she get that right away or when i retire
thanks
thanks
Rioe
Well-known member
You can ask your pension administrator to provide the accurate numbers. Just give them the date of marriage and the date of separation, and they'll calculate the increase in value between those dates. They do this sort of thing all the time.
If you give her the share of the pension, it goes into a locked-in retirement account (LIRA) so she can't get at it till she retires.
But you can divide up the assets any way you like, as long as it works out that you leave with the same increase in net worth. For example, maybe you arrange that she keeps her RRSPs and you keep your pension intact but pay her an extra $50k from the sale of the house.
Just a warning though! If you are a federal employee, the pension division has to be equal, or your agreement has to clearly state that she received other assets in an appropriate amount instead. If not, she can apply to the federal pension administrator for her share and they'll just give it to her.
Rioe
Well-known member
I can't quite make out what you're trying to say here. Yes, you moved for the sake of her job, but did yours suffer because of the move? How much less income are you making now than you would have made had you never moved?
trinton
Banned
You mean straight response from an impartial poster pointing out the bias of the system?
Let's see what advice is given when a female comes on here asking about spousal support. should be interesting.
Perhaps I can ask you in advance to avoid any discrepancy in future. If the female salary was 55% of that of the males, should she be entitled to SS from the male?
would like to see cases where SS is ordered and not ordered based on at least 55% of other parties income for both genders.
And lastly, I take it that your lawyer fees didn't discriminate? Just his will? You are after all and at the end of the day someone who went after SS and is receiving SS, meanwhile telling others, a male in this case, to not go after it.
If you are so against SS then why you keep defending against your ex's motions to halt SS? I know you're trying to get creative here but your responses are just tarded, which is typical of biased posters like yourself
Your opinion on shelter homes hasn't changed yet has it?
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trinton
Banned
Or not and just divide everything pproperly and she could pay him SS based on the $50k/year difference in salary..
why should the female come out here with higher standard of living at the end of this all given her higher salary?
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