Arrears Questions

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darrel1

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since this is such a tramatic issue for me i want to due this in point form.

1. oldest son was 16 when he left the family home , exs new beau punched him out and then jared left........Dawn the x still claimed child tax benefits for him....which to me is fraud.....especialyy since she is employed as a court cleck..... held to a higher standard...

2. Daughter left the family house for independant living when she was 16...

this would be a little hard to prove as she bounced arround with the exs family..
kaze also had a issue with the police that that involved her teacher and friend....aparrently the teacher had a web cam set up in the bath room so when the girls took showers he had them so to speak.....small towns....theres a point to this.....i didnt choose to take the ex to court as i figured that kaze would maybe require a safeplace to go to....if nothng else the ex's so i didnt push the point as she and the new beau booted the oldest out....

3. justin has moved in with me as of 14 yo...and the same thing...i figured that i would just be able to get everything adjusted in on fell swoop so to speak........


so first of all

1. how far back can i go to get my arrears adjusted?

2. for tax purposes...has anyone had any sucess in getting child tax credits reversed and or penalties levied on the other person?

3. does fro have an investigation mechanism to see where the money that i have paid has gone?


4. i left the status quo ride as i was concerned that the kids would have a safe place to go to.....so i figured it was best for them as i didnt want any more issues with them.......was this a wise move? or the best is to keep hammering on the x every time for court issues? seems like a wate of time and energy to me.....but does the game have to be played like that?


gawd i hate this system......ffs..

darrel
 
Not to be harsh but the "why" and "what caused it" and "who is to blame" doesn't mean anything. Rolling it around in your head will just distract you from finding the right questions and getting the right answers and taking the right steps.

Your children appear to all have left the ex's home. What you aren't clear on is when. At this point it doesn't matter what age they are/were.

You are at some point going to have put this in a legal document to apply for a change to the existing order for support so get used to it now. List:

  • number of children
  • their ages
  • when each one left the mother's home/parental control
  • where they are living now
  • document any proof you have of this occuring and the dates
The FRO does not investigate anything. What they do is enforce court orders. If there is an existing court order you have to pay the amount ordered. Once the court is involved, essentially you aren't paying because the children live somewhere, you are paying because there is a court order to pay. If the situation changes, then the onus is on you to take action and seek a change to the order.

You have to go to court and file a motion to change the order to pay support. Until then you are still required to pay support. Be absolutely clear about that.

As to the money you have already paid, you need to face that you may not get it returned. This is an extended argument and it won't always go your way. The mother will likely argue that they expected the children to return home, had to maintain the residence, covered certain expenses blah blah blah. It will piss you off and seem unfair and it probably is unfair.

Keep in mind you may not get the arrears you owe reduced or any amounts returned. Still you should put the details on paper, make your arguments and if you win so much the better.

As far as letting the status quo remain for whatever sake, I have no idea what the situation is in your life from just a few sentences. Essentially if there was a chance the kids would return to the mum, then the support payments maintain the home for them. If there was no chance of that, then you were best off taking action immediately to change the court order and then set the money aside yourself to help the kids. But that's not for us to judge and you can't change the past anyway.
 
What my own father did was continue the child support payments but give them directly to me until I was in my early 20s. From the money he gave me, I paid my mom a portion of her rent, bought my own food, paid for my own gas and bus pass to university, etc. That was because I chose to continue living with my Mom, but I could have taken the money and lived elsewhere too.

Granted there was no court order or FRO in place, but this way both my parents knew that my Dad was supporting his kids and no one really had any cause for complaining.
 
First, you should pay CS based on what is going on - so it seems that you should have CS adjusted accordingly.

Did you really just use everybody's real names on a public forum?

Why would you look to have tax 'penalties levied' on your ex?? That sounds vindictive and like you are an unreasonable person out to get your ex. Mind your own business.
 
okay no i didnt use my childrens names, actually they are a buddies childrens names.......just worked out that way....

vindictive......hmmmmmm maybe........she works at the court house.....as a court clerk...........there are several other issues that are to be resolved......
small town court house.....out of province...i have to file in her justisdiction.....and as soon as i file anything her co workers in a different depatrment run to her and and tell her.......i always seem to loose the ëlement of surprise" if that counts...but my "human rights"are violated every time i apply for court.......its aggravating as hell...... the other thing is that since she works at the court house , as a clerk in the court room....i personally think by her position that she should be held to a higher standard than the rest.....

its just my opinion......

then theres the assualt on the oldest...:jared" i have a sticky note so i can keep them straight..........her new boy friend punch him out when he was 15 and called the cops...jared is 5 ft 6 inched tall...and 125 lbs Gabo is is over 6 ft tall anyways cause x works at court house she "washed the whole thing undr the table...cild and family services wasnt informed the 2 youngest where in the home at the time.......theres the grow op theres gabo breaking light bulbs so the kids had to walk through broken glass to get to the bath room cause he felt that they had to stay in bed...it interrupted his family time with the ex....the seperate meals and seperate eating times seperate food.... it was a effing mess when the kids came to live with me.......lots of auguish yep so maybe i am a little vindidcitive........

i try not to be...but she got a hell uva settle ment from me ......and it was mostly for the children and they are getting turfed out......grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

so if i can prove the fraud......or cast doubt.....i think i have to try that avenue........if i win it opens up issues about police investigations........abuse........maybe the thin edge of the wedge so to speak.......maybe i am clutching.....but you play the cards you are dealt....


cheers darrel
 
winter wolf.......i did pay "jared"his money directly to him......which is part of the arrars issue........my so called lawyer gave me the "his dad was a working man too speach and he would make go to court and have a court order to protect the children after i left.......due to crap that was going on when i left the house.....i was working north of fort macmurray 2 hour time difference i got a call form his assistant at 9 oclock on a wednesday night.....they wanted a fax no to send me the documents and i had to get to a lawyer get them signed and return them by 8 in the morning there time...6 am my time......to present them......needless to say it wasnt done,,,,,,ffs. i guess you get what you pay for.........then i got billed........grrrrrrrrrrrr but i did have sucess at the upper canada law society with regards to the billing and the lack of service.......i should have pushed harder.....
 
darrel1 said:
since this is such a tramatic issue for me i want to due this in point form.

1. oldest son was 16 when he left the family home , exs new beau punched him out and then jared left........Dawn the x still claimed child tax benefits for him....which to me is fraud.....especialyy since she is employed as a court cleck..... held to a higher standard...

2. Daughter left the family house for independant living when she was 16...

this would be a little hard to prove as she bounced arround with the exs family..
kaze also had a issue with the police that that involved her teacher and friend....aparrently the teacher had a web cam set up in the bath room so when the girls took showers he had them so to speak.....small towns....theres a point to this.....i didnt choose to take the ex to court as i figured that kaze would maybe require a safeplace to go to....if nothng else the ex's so i didnt push the point as she and the new beau booted the oldest out....

3. justin has moved in with me as of 14 yo...and the same thing...i figured that i would just be able to get everything adjusted in on fell swoop so to speak........


so first of all

1. how far back can i go to get my arrears adjusted?

2. for tax purposes...has anyone had any sucess in getting child tax credits reversed and or penalties levied on the other person?

3. does fro have an investigation mechanism to see where the money that i have paid has gone?


4. i left the status quo ride as i was concerned that the kids would have a safe place to go to.....so i figured it was best for them as i didnt want any more issues with them.......was this a wise move? or the best is to keep hammering on the x every time for court issues? seems like a wate of time and energy to me.....but does the game have to be played like that?


gawd i hate this system......ffs..

darrel
Click to expand...

I believe it is your business if your children are being used to defraud the system then i would look into it not to mention you're a taxpayer as well.

If you're paying cs for children that are not in the home i would most certainly look into that as well and have it stopped. cs is for the children not mom!
 
well that is how i feel...cs is for the child not for a retired park warden who after 20 years couldnt get on full time.......yes he is a pos........or by my standards he is......but anyways i think i have him under family income.....at least he will have to justify how they can by a new house and truck.......lol i dont know if a pot plantation is considered family income...but if i do it right.....i should be able to make points........its a mess......and i really want to challange the system under human rights......its free to do so.....under dignity.....maybe it would work if everyone tried.....and yes...maybe i am bitter.....i dont know how a mother gives up her children and then because of her "position" as a court clerk..is respected........small towns....sheeeeesh!!!
 
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