Another Section 7 thread...need help figuring it all out

L

lulubuttons

New member
I have read through the numerous threads on Section 7 but am still having a hard time figuring out:
a) whether it qualifies
b) how to calculate

Father is ncp and mother has sole custody. Separation Agreement states section 7 to be shared pro-rata on their incomes and mother requires father's consent (to which he cannot unreasonably withold).

Father's income = $45,000
Mother's income = $31,000
(gross)

Mother is asking for contribution for the following activities (not asking permission as she has already signed him up for all):

Karate - $150/month
Tutoring - $75/month (father pays half of this already)
Snowboarding lessons - $500/month
Piano lessons - $120/month
skating lesson - $100/month

Son is very far behind in math and father is saying that maybe he should be doing less extra-curriculars and focusing more on school.

Father and son do archery together. It is completely on father's time and father paid for all fees/equipment associated with that.

Mother is HCP and has a history of being less than forthcoming with relevant details.

HELP PLEASE!
 
That is 15% of your combined GROSS income!

Obviously an unreasonable amount.

I would do the school stuff (though at $75/month that is reasonably covered by CS), and the snowboarding because that is expensive and only do that IF you would spend that amount all things considered.

Not all extracurriculars are extraordinary - some of it should covered by CS.

If the roles were reversed, what would you sign the kid up for? What do you think is a reasonable amount per month to spend on extracurricular given your combined incomes?

Also, what you spend such as archery should be deducted (ie shared).

What do you want?
 
You simply reply that you consent that he be enrolled in activities X and Y, that you believe A, B and C to be excessive, beyond your means. Repeat that you believe it would be in the child's interest to have more time to focus on school and homework.

Personally I would pick tutoring and karate, contribute a share to those, and ignore the rest.
 
Ok....here is the thing, not knowing the age of the kids, the following bar the tutoring, is just damn too much

Karate - $150/month
Tutoring - $75/month (father pays half of this already)
Snowboarding lessons - $500/month
Piano lessons - $120/month
skating lesson - $100/month

You ought to get that separation agreement changed, to stipulate "children will only be registered in two(2) activities by parents, not including tutoring"

"If either parents feel the need to register the kids in other activities, they will do in on their days and carry the cost."

Then you can see how the other parent likes this :rolleyes:

I know maths is not everyone's cup of tea, but parents need to be doing more to help their kids with this. It's one of those subjects that no matter what line of work you end up in, you need it.

We all get paid (some of us have to work hard for it), do groceries etc, and you need to be able to understand finances. This is one instance where "Google is not your friend"
 
billm said:
That is 15% of your combined GROSS income!

Obviously an unreasonable amount.
Click to expand...

chuckle. This was along my first thought, when I first saw the list of "I've already signed child up for these...here is your "bill" for activities. Who can afford all that, on those incomes? lol.
 
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It would be interesting to know the child's age, in relation to such activities and the number of them requested by Mom.

Since Mom didn't consult with Dad first, over any of these activities prior to child already being registered in them (apparently), then Dad didn't consent, and does not have to chip in for any of it. (I'm not saying to say that exactly, just that Dad would be reasonable doing so).

If Dad is up for chipping in, for one other activity, then suggest that.
- if you can't, you can't.

Probably word such a reply saying something like, with child already in tutoring, and archery already, you don't think it would be in junior's interests, to be spread thin amongst so many activities. And of course, your budget doesn't allow for all of these activities.

I would be sure, to have a reminder in there that you need to be consulted first, so that if necessary, you can try and plan for budgeting for *agreed upon* expenses, and of course, to make sure there are no schedule conflicts with other activities.

Sounds like you won't get any reasonable response back, but it's important to document your reasonability, and her lack of it (by the sounds of it).
 
lulubuttons said:
Karate - $150/month
Click to expand...

Just an aside...

This seems high, but perhaps your area costs more for this?
My S7 is in KungFu, and it's about half this cost. Or maybe it's age related?

I vote for Karate/Kung Fu as well (if your budget allows for more activities). I think it really helps with confidence and focus, for kids.
 
Thank you everyone for the replies!

Child is 9.

Mother has enrolled him in all of these activities without consent of the father and is now complaining (after several years) that they cost too much for her and that she must get help.

Father is open to more discussion however costs seemed high to him too and he wants his son to focus more on school work (since there is a demonstrated need) but mother is refusing to take him out of anything.

Mother's suggestion was that father buy the snowboarding lessons for him for Christmas (since she paid for them last year). I can't even imagine telling someone what they should buy their kid for Christmas...but I can only assume she thought she was being helpful.

All of this is also complicated by the fact that father is asking for increased access. He currently has every other weekend from 2pm on Saturday until 7pm on Sunday and Tuesdays from 3:30-7pm. He has given a first proposal for increased time and there has been no response. Next step is a registered letter and then next step is filing a motion.

Again thank you for the help and information!
 
lulubuttons said:
Child is 9.

Mother has enrolled him in all of these activities without consent of the father and is now complaining (after several years) that they cost too much for her and that she must get help.
Click to expand...

With several years of child already being involved in these activities/ sports...

Ultimately, if you end up in court over this, a judge will look at this in regards to your child's best intersets. Who knows what a judge might say. I did see some cases in my reading, where if a child was already involved in an activity (I'm talking one), for years, then it was determined the child should stay in said activity, and both parents needed to find a way to contribute, as that was in the child's best interests.

But, at the same, I think a judge would find the number of sports/activities here, unreasonable, and would probably also look at Mom having funded this herself for so long; why an issue now, or why does child need to stay in so many still?

If you are updating an agreement, or end up in court at some point, Oink already made a good suggestion, to have agreement state a limit of activities.
 
Thanks everyone.

Mother is HCP so there is no simple "updating the agreement" anytime soon.

Big concern (in terms of litigation) right now is more access time. That's the first motion. And depending on how that goes, then father can have the agreement updated.
 
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