adult child issues

[sundaysmom]

A few months ago we were negotiating with my husband's ex about child support for the summer for his adult daughter who is in post secondary school. Instead of returning to her mothers house she moved in with us on April 20th and has managed to get a full-time summer and a part-time weekend one as well. The ex finally agreed that it wasn't fair that we were paying full support to her while his daughter was living with us. When she is in school she lives in a rented house. She technically has not 'lived' with her mother since last August. Issues are
#1. the mother expects us to pay support for the daughter again in Sept. when she returns to school even though she hasn't been living with the mom and her room is now occupied by an aunt living with her mom - her room has been moved to the basement as of May 1st.
#2. the daughter has stated to us that she doesn't receive any financial help from her mom during the school year and anything purchased comes out of OSAP loans. The mother has not contributed anything financially for the first 2 years of university - all of her section 7 expenses are outstanding.we are paid up and beyond.
#3. I (the step-mom) am now responsible for driving my step-daughter to both her jobs 7 days a week (dad helps on weekends) - this adds 16 trips a week to my schedule ,gas cost and time to get her back and forth - no bus service available. I have 2 other children I drive to work and school daily as well. I work from home around everyone else's schedule now.
#4. the daughter is thinking of keeping her part-time job during the school year and at x-mas so she would be coming here during that time.
#5. the daughter doesn't want to apply for OSAP this year as between her income and our contribution she only needs her mom to pay her part - her mom says she can't afford it so she need her to apply for OSAP.

So do we have a case to change the adult child's custodial residence to our house at this point since we don't know for sure if she will keep the part-time job. We don't have to pay support for the summer but we aren't receiving it for the extra costs we have. Gas, wear and tear on my car, my time, the clothes I had to buy her for her job since she had no 'work' clothes for an office etc... plus car insurance since we had to add her if she wanted to drive around when the car was available.
The mother feels that since we aren't paying support we are actually receiving it since we have extra money for all those things... apparently child support only works one way.
Mom keeps tell the daughter she can't afford to pay for anything but her NOA for 2011 was $84000 line 150 plus she received child support of $1155 a month (now $891 for 1 child)and CTB/disability tax benefit of $285.00and ACSB of $400 a month(other child has intellectual disability but no special needs on a daily basis).

any thoughts??? sorry if there are spelling errors

 

[HammerDad]

What address does the daughter list as her residential address for school? Your's or the other parent's address?

If it's your address, then the other parent is obligated to pay c/s and their proportional share of s7. If it is their address, then vice versa.

What needs to be done is for the adult child to determine where they are going to reside and go from there. If they choose your house, each parent would be obligated to pay c/s to each other, and likely the amounts would set off against each other. So you take $891-$754=$137 paid by Dad to mom.

 

[sundaysmom]

thanks for the reply - right now she uses her moms address but she doesn't even have a bed there to sleep in if she wanted to stay over according to her. She is willing to change it to our address but we aren't doing this to get money from the mom. We would be happy just to terminate child support for her on a permanent basis and just be able to use that money to assist her with her education costs and buy another car for the 3 kids to use so I am not driving around constantly.

Question - if she uses her address near university (which we pay rent for 12 months a year ) would that be enough to terminate support to the mother ?

We are trying to stay out of court and there is no way the mom would ever agreed to pay us support even if the law told her too...

 

[Rioe]

Do you go through FRO or anything like that for the child support currently? If not, it's pretty simple to just notify the ex that due to the fact that you each have one child residing with you, that CS should now be done by the offset method (you pay her for one kid, she pays you for the other one) which as calculated by HammerDad would be $137.) Unless you go through FRO or need to amend a court order or something like that, just start paying the new amount the month after notifying her. And yeah, get the child to change her address to make it official, either to yours or to her school year one. The fact that the kid no longer has a bedroom there makes it pretty official too.

However, keep the extra banked for a while just in case the ex does take you to court. But if she does, while you're there, you can go after her for the share of section 7 expenses she isn't paying.