abusive wife

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helplessDad

New member
Due to a domestic dispute, we had visitors from the police station, and one of the officers claimed 99.9% of the time, the aggressors are the men. I didn't want to argue with him, so I didn't say much regarding the male aggressors. I'm pretty sure that's very close to the "official statistics" they have.

I have taken photos of my bruises caused by my wife over the years, and I'm thinking of proving him wrong just for the sake of waking him up to the reality, but at the same time, I don't want her to get arrested or anything. Or, the police would twist around the facts and make accusation against me of being abusive since I am male. I mean, that's their job, isn't it? in any violence involving a male, the male is the primary suspect.

has anyone reported the violence against men with positive outcome?

found this interesting article: http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm
 
helplessDad said:
Due to a domestic dispute, we had visitors from the police station, and one of the officers claimed 99.9% of the time, the aggressors are the men. I didn't want to argue with him, so I didn't say much regarding the male aggressors. I'm pretty sure that's very close to the "official statistics" they have.

I have taken photos of my bruises caused by my wife over the years, and I'm thinking of proving him wrong just for the sake of waking him up to the reality, but at the same time, I don't want her to get arrested or anything. Or, the police would twist around the facts and make accusation against me of being abusive since I am male. I mean, that's their job, isn't it? in any violence involving a male, the male is the primary suspect.

has anyone reported the violence against men with positive outcome?

found this interesting article: Domestic Violence Against Men
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Nope. You are screwed. Women know this. I had blood dripping from my face and she admitted that she would do it again and again. The police actually gave me a lecture on why I shouldn't "escalate" it to the point where she "has to hit me". I was perplexed. I had witnesses who were baffled by what the cops were saying. They refused to press charges and said I was "lucky" I didn't get charged. I asked "for what? I didn't do anything". The lady cop said " I'm sure we could find something so drop it". The people who witnessed it couldn't believe their ears but she had a smile that would make the devil jealous.

If you are male and your ex is a lying, immoral person you better leave the home or rig it with CCTV (like I did). Run Forest. Run.

Just an added note. I contacted a criminal lawyer (top 5 in GTA area) who said don't press for charges. He flat out told me the system is against men and you will get charged in most cases. It's terrible but a few lawyers I talked to warned me about messing with domestic stuff since it's rare that a female gets charged. Just ask around here and see how many females were charged. You really believe women are only 1% of the attackers? Yeah right. I would say it's easily 50-50. Women are as violent, if not more, then men.
 
billiechic said:
I know several women who hit their husbands. I am sorry that this happened. It is not fair for sure.
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Not only is it not fair women are well trained bytheir lawyers and the police that they will get away with it.

I am used to her beating me to a bloody pulp and laughing it away with the cops. I am always amused at the look on the witnesses face when the cops come and then warn me for making her "angry enough to beat me with a fireplace poker". Imagine if I beat her to a pulp with one???
 
OMG I am really sorry. I hope you have left and are not living there anymore. Nobody deserves to be hit, but to be mocked as well??
 
billiechic said:
OMG I am really sorry. I hope you have left and are not living there anymore. Nobody deserves to be hit, but to be mocked as well??
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Yes I have left to "keep the peace". But on Xmas night, @1 am in the morning she came to my house, when I answered the door she assaulted me with a fireplace poker and gave me 7 stiches because I wouldn't sign thehouse over to her. I called the cops and actaully was scolded by them because they said next time "don't invite her over". I didn't ,she phoned me, I told her to go home and she still came. Who invites people over at 1 am anyways? That's the cops for you.

Now I have to look at a restraining order (my criminal lawyer argued against that with me because he said she will do likewise and guess who will end up charged in a he said /she said?) or what not. I rigged our matrimonial home with CCTV but haven't my apt. yet. I might have to.,
 
cl4 said:
Yes I have left to "keep the peace". But on Xmas night, @1 am in the morning she came to my house, when I answered the door she assaulted me with a fireplace poker and gave me 7 stiches because I wouldn't sign thehouse over to her. I called the cops and actaully was scolded by them because they said next time "don't invite her over". I didn't ,she phoned me, I told her to go home and she still came. Who invites people over at 1 am anyways? That's the cops for you.

Now I have to look at a restraining order (my criminal lawyer argued against that with me because he said she will do likewise and guess who will end up charged in a he said /she said?) or what not. I rigged our matrimonial home with CCTV but haven't my apt. yet. I might have to.,
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geez,my bruises mean nothing compared to what you've gone through! I bet if a guy did this to you (also a guy), he'd be arrested. but if a girl hit you, that's your fault. maybe if she killed you, the cops just might take it a little more seriously. all this reminds me of a custody court battle.
 
oh well, I was naive, I guess. until the law respects men as equal human beings as women, we just gotta suppress the suffering.
 
Here's a little gem I got while holding my seven week old daughter in my arms. Grey Cup 2004. It was a toy truck in case you're wondering.

BTW, the vast majority of domestic abuse does go the other way, but that wasn't really on my mind at the time.

Edit:removed pic
 
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