Thank you to everyone who replied. I contacted a woman's shelter and spoke to a counsellor who was very helpful. She recommended to contact the police once again and insist that an investigation be conducted. She provided me with the names of female officers who specialiize in domestic abuse cases. I spoke at length to one of these officers yesterday and she advised me to prepare a declaration, attach all documentation I have, and that an investigator will be assigned to the case and that potentially, my husband could face charges of criminal harassment, intimidation and/or mischief. I am preparing the declaration and will be meeting with the officer on the weekend. I feel relieved that there are options I can pursue to protect myself. I can also receive free counselling through the woman's shelter so this will be helpful as well. Again, I appreciate all the advice and support provided by all of you. Thank you so much!
Sounds like they are "coaching" you not to receive justice but to screw your husband. Sorry. It's just the way it seems.
My advice; Don't lie or embellish. A good criminal lawyer will turn you upside down in court and then the family judge gets the transcript.
State the truth and you will win.Lie and in the end you will end up on the losing side. Women Shelter's always coach women to embellish or down right lie. I mean a woman cop? Come on.
Given the story you have presented to this forum I would expect you to be somewhat sympathetic to someone who is being abused. Nowhere did she say that they asked her to lie. You should understand that abused people tend to underestimate the abuse and downplay it. The abuser tells them that it was nothing, it's part of the damage!!! Any professional who works with abused women (or men) knows this, and so they have to help them gain the strength to stand up for themselves.
Shame on you. After all the support you have received here that was not supportive at all.
Wow, you just made an excellent case for women's shelters, so they may guide women through the tangle of aggressive, opinionated persons like yourself who feed off their vunerability. It sounds like you have a heck of a lot of experience being in the shoes of an abuser. Maybe this is not the thread for you to be involved in.
Sounds like they are "coaching" you not to receive justice but to screw your husband. Sorry. It's just the way it seems.
My advice; Don't lie or embellish. A good criminal lawyer will turn you upside down in court and then the family judge gets the transcript.
State the truth and you will win.Lie and in the end you will end up on the losing side. Women Shelter's always coach women to embellish or down right lie. I mean a woman cop? Come on.
It's a fact. Women get coached to putthe man in jail. They even have websites instructing exactly what to do to accomplish this.
most couples have fights once in a while, maybe even quite often, and the husband and wife can be more physical than necessary. but you didn't explain why and how the separation really happened, and all we know is your side of the story. was it your own decision to leave the house because of one push? my wife pushes me all the time, but that can't result in such a drastic decision. if there was a difficulty in your relationship, did you two have a fair discussion to remedy that? I know it's sometimes almost impossible to talk to each other, but when one party single-handedly decides the destine of their partnership, the other party will naturally become bitter, especially when you have kids because both parents love them, and no one likes to have their kids taken away.This is my first post and I could use some advice. I decided to leave my abusive husband last August after 25 years of marriage. I have three teenage sons, ages 14, 16, 18. We had to share the house until it was sold effective the end of January. The schedule was designed to minimize the time we would cross paths. Unfortunately, in the few times we did see each other, my husband was aggressive, enraged, mean, insulting and totally disrespectful towards me. I ignored him most the time but the bullying and harassment and the threats (vague ones that intimated that I would have to “pay” for leaving him) continued. I went to the police on several occasions but was basically told that unless he was making threats of bodily harm, there was nothing that could be done. I had called the police just before I told him I wanted a divorce, after he pushed me in front of our 14 year old son. I did not lay charges at that time.<o></o><o></o>
The bullying and insults escalated as our move date approached. I kept reminding myself that I only had a few more weeks to go, and then I wouldn’t have to endure this abuse any longer. How wrong I was! He returned to the house one evening 3 weeks ago after I had spent the weekend moving some items out of the house with the help of my 2 older sons, items that I was entitled to take. When he saw that items had been moved out of the house, he became completely enraged. At one point he threw himself on the ground and then claimed I pushed him.The end result was that he had me arrested the following morning on false charges of assault and conjugal violence after he had subjected me to his rage, aggressiveness etc the following evening (including picking the lock of my bedroom door). I was arrested just after I got off the phone with my lawyer to see if I could obtain a restraining order. No one ever asked me what happened! My new defense attorney tells me it’s extremely rare for such charges to be laid against a woman. <o></o><o></o>
My boys were extremely upset and defended me to their father. They don’t believe him and they have told me they will testify against him if this ever goes to trial.
I’m still stunned, angry, and floored by how low he could go and how little respect he has shown the mother of his children. I followed my attorney’s advice and have cut all communication with him and I’ve also been told to never ever be alone with him. I’m still scared of what he could be capable of seeing as he managed to pull off a stunt like this. I've been keeping a journal of everything he has been saying and doing to me since August. Has anyone else had a similar experience? What are the chances of being convicted based on someone's false allegations? Can I still travel to the U.S.?
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<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cmike%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <wmost couples have fights once in a while, maybe even quite often, and the husband and wife can be more physical than necessary. but you didn't explain why and how the separation really happened, and all we know is your side of the story. was it your own decision to leave the house because of one push? my wife pushes me all the time, but that can't result in such a drastic decision. if there was a difficulty in your relationship, did you two have a fair discussion to remedy that? I know it's sometimes almost impossible to talk to each other, but when one party single-handedly decides the destine of their partnership, the other party will naturally become bitter, especially when you have kids because both parents love them, and no one likes to have their kids taken away.
and I highly doubt that the police would believe ANY man of being abused badly enough that the charges can be laid against a woman. if a man claims of being abused, the police would automatically assume he physically abused her so she only defended herself by pushing him, hence the arrest of the husband. that's the way it goes probably 90% of the time. I just can't believe that he convinced the police that you abused him without übercompelling evidence. according you you, this crazy abusive husband who's being threatening you constantly suddenly convinced the cops to arrest you because he was lying down on the ground? if it was the other way around, sure, the cops will believe the woman every word. I'm sure it's hard to talk to someone like your husband, but why did you keep ignoring him? was he really only bothering you or in his awkward way trying to talk to you? my wife became so bitter whatever I say enrages her. so I maybe biased in this respect.
anyways, maybe he has a cop buddy or something.
most couples have fights once in a while, maybe even quite often, and the husband and wife can be more physical than necessary. but you didn't explain why and how the separation really happened, and all we know is your side of the story. was it your own decision to leave the house because of one push? my wife pushes me all the time, but that can't result in such a drastic decision. if there was a difficulty in your relationship, did you two have a fair discussion to remedy that? I know it's sometimes almost impossible to talk to each other, but when one party single-handedly decides the destine of their partnership, the other party will naturally become bitter, especially when you have kids because both parents love them, and no one likes to have their kids taken away.
and I highly doubt that the police would believe ANY man of being abused badly enough that the charges can be laid against a woman. if a man claims of being abused, the police would automatically assume he physically abused her so she only defended herself by pushing him, hence the arrest of the husband. that's the way it goes probably 90% of the time. I just can't believe that he convinced the police that you abused him without übercompelling evidence. according you you, this crazy abusive husband who's being threatening you constantly suddenly convinced the cops to arrest you because he was lying down on the ground? if it was the other way around, sure, the cops will believe the woman every word. I'm sure it's hard to talk to someone like your husband, but why did you keep ignoring him? was he really only bothering you or in his awkward way trying to talk to you? my wife became so bitter whatever I say enrages her. so I maybe biased in this respect.
anyways, maybe he has a cop buddy or something.