95% Settle Rate

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wretchedotis

wretchedotis

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I keep hearing people refer to this statistic.
As well, it has been said in various threads that eventually the heat gets turned up through all the conferences, and people will be forced to settle.

If someone would be so kind as to explain this to me. Currently I am employed and self-representing. My ex is on social assistance and therefore legal aid. I have no intention whatsoever of settleing for anything less than the 50/50 custody I am asking for in court. She apparently is not willing to settle for anything less than the full custody she answered with. Given that on legal aid she has zero financial obligation for court costs - I fail to see how the pressure can be turned up to cause her to even consider falling into this statistic.

WHat pressure/heat might I expect to get turned up?
 
Sounds like she may fall in the 5% unfortunately.

In my case, I am giving her the minimal monthly payment, with no SS. In the agreement, I'm offering a little bit more. So, she has an incentive in that way to settle quickly.

I am also offering a lump sum payment to buy her out of the house. So, the longer she holds out, the longer she has to wait for that cheque.

There's also the emotional toll it takes on somebody. It's draining to negotiate through this. At times, you want to pull your hair out and make it stop.

My ex hasn't seen her lawyer's invoice yet, and doesn't realize the fees she'll have to pay if she continues, yet she is feeling a lot of pressure to settle.

And, I've also been fair in the negotiations and haven't been too mean.

I could have sent a request to CRA to take half the CCTB/UCCB (6 months per year).
 
Time for settlement

Time for settlement

Guys, can you tell that on average how long it takes to settle with your ex-. I am reading through various articles and see that with an offer you give a deadline and is normally 1 week. To me it looks like a month or two month process. But I could be way wrong.
 
I separated in mid March of last year. Made my first offer in early April. At first, she wasn't ready to sign it, since it would mean that the marriage was officially over. Then, she started listening to friends and family that convinced her to go after my money.

We started to truly negotiate in August 2009, and we're just about ready to finalize it.

The issues that caused some trouble were SS (we had different numbers for her income), and to a lesser degree child custody and SS.
 
Trials are VERY expensive. Minimum $20K and probably more like $50K - $60K. Most folks can't afford it.

Factor in that the "loser" will forced to pay the other sides costs, and most people cave.

Plus, the judges ram those points home with ever increasing intensity as the trial stage gets closer and closer. People get intimidated into settling, especially the party who is being unreasonable and who has a judge telling them with ever greater forcefulness that they are probably going to lose if they insist on continuing.

You may believe that your case is of the highest conflict. But the stats don't lie. You have less than a 5% chance of going to trial, BELIEVE ME.
 
Thank you Foredeck. This seems like a very considerable amount of time. So you started in April 2009 and now in March 2010 you are ready to finalize. So it took you almost one year to finalize your separation agreement.

Do you know what were your lessons learned in creating a separation agreement. I am going through the same process.
 
I always put it like this;

Conduct yourself like you will be going all the way to trial, but keep in mind you will likely wind up settling long before that. At least that way, if you fall into the 5%, you have been conducting yourself accordingly all along.

Also, @ wretched Social Assistance is bare bones, below poverty line type living, and any Child Support you pay is supposed to come off dollar for dollar from her welfare check. Make sure her income assistance worker is aware of any funds you pay her support wise. Also, if you secure access > 40% of the time, make sure they are aware of that as well.

Also any changes in living arrangements (ie. new SO moving in) is supposed to be reported to them. If she "forgets" and they find out, her cheque gets frozen until it's sorted out.

You CAN report these things to income assistance anonymously, her NOT reporting them constitutes welfare fraud, and there is usually a 1-800# you can call to make a report. (or have someone else make it FOR you)

Living off an assistance cheque is very very stressful money wise. Welfare will peg you as either a "lifer" or someone that's only on assistance to get back on their feet. The latter gets WAY more access to programs and stuff than the former does.

She CAN be handed costs, especially if she's being unreasonable/stupid, you probably just won't SEE any of it....ever. (My ex was on assistance and I was awarded costs for one of her boneheaded attempts (to move the kids)...however I'm unlikely to EVER see any of it)
 
wretchedotis said:
...

WHat pressure/heat might I expect to get turned up?
Click to expand...

If she realizes that she can't win in court, she will not want the stress of continuing and may settle to move on with her life.

What is the custody/access situation now? - if she has the kids more than 60% she may be trying to drag it out to establish the dreaded and stupid 'status quo' defense.
 
We have 50/50 for about 2 years now.
She recently moved out of town, and told me I could no longer havemy off week midweek access as per the status quo. I filed a motion focusing on the access, and throwing in the move. Was awarded access back, but nothing was mentioned about the move by his honour.
Trial management Conference looms in April, and I am desperately stashing away cash with an eye toward an estmated $12K bill for what I see as the inevitable trial come August. Until trial, I intend to self represent as I don't have a money tree growing in my back-yard.
SHe is pregnant with another guy, and due any day now (i feel sorry for the man). OCL report came out in her favour, as the investigator puts much stock into our 4 year old son having a future brother/sister. Mind you - it was a weak recommendation predicated on the fact that we cannot communicate. Even so, he plainly stated that there was no clear choice as to who should get custody.
 
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