Update on the situation.
As I have read some of the other threads where parents are fighting to get any parenting time and then read about the parents who deal with ex's who keep messing around with the terms of the SA, calling children during visits, causes arguments at pick and drop of meets I wonder when our lives will return to normal.
Its now 8 months. Skype has been regularly at least once a week, usually initiated by Mom. She has Skype chats during Dads vacations at different locations. She has Skype at the new house, she has even had Skype at Friends party etc etc. Sometimes short, sometimes quite long chats.
Never any mention of coming to visit, never any mention of asking Mom to bring child down to visit. Always slipping in tidbits of his latest acquisitions or in different locales around the house so Mom can get a sense of how " big it is! Lol
3 months ago she found a mediator through the court system and invited Dad to mediation so they could sit face to face with a qualified child focused mediator and plan the next years parenting schedule and then draft how the schedule would be once child enters school, which is next September. She did the intake session and apparently he did. Then he told the mediator he would get back to him regarding setting up the mediation once he had taken care of some personal things.
Skype went on as usual, although there was a 3 week period where she heard nothing from him until last week which 3 months after he told the mediator her would get back to him.
Last week out of the blue an email came with another Olive Branch message of moving forward and a proposal of visits. All of course centred around child going to Dads new home with his new family. Suggestion was that Mom drive 7 hours and meet at a roadside coffee shop and transfer son. Then a week later drive back and pick him up. Interesting that nothing was mentioned about the now over $4500 unspent travel money garnished from CS nor the $4000 unpaid daycare fees which Mom shoulders alone. Also no mention that his NOA he finally sent through his lawyer showed he has a large increase in income and should have been paying more CS than he actually does.
There are several other visits outlined, all at least 3 months apart. All focused on holiday times, so Thanksgiving, Christmas, March Break and Summer. No intent to come to where child now resides. Certainly done in a cost effective manner for Dad. He had visits last year at Christmas and had March break but did not show up. Although as the child is not in school cannot understand why March Break is so important unless its so GF children can be there as well and they are planning a trip to Disney!
So what the question is. Given the distance, given the 8 month absence from actual physical contact with child, given the age of the child 2 3/4 what is the best child focused parenting plan.
Neither party can move their employment, so no point in starting with that. I did some research and WestJet have a guardian fare program, which gives 50% of airfare for travelling parent so that would help a lot.
Mom wants to ensure Son is comfortable with visits away from his home and wants to respond with a clear plan of graduating visits. How many would you think she needs to have and for how long. We had read that you use the age of the child to base the number of overnights so 2 3/4 old would mean 2-3 overnights. But surely he would need to just do some day visits first. And would the visit not have to be fairly close together at first to ensure child remembers he goes off with Dad and then comes home to Mom.
Opinions welcomed, as we meet with the mediator and want to have a sound unbiased point of view of what is right for the child.
I wont take anything personally!
