4 Way Meeting

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copping

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Hello, I hope someone can shed some light on these few questions for me?

We have a 4 way meeting set up for May, I was just wondering what this is all about, I have only seen my lawyer twice, once was my first meeting the second was to sign my financial statement. I'm gathering it is to sit and hash out what we have to agree on, I don't really want to sit in the same room with him as I haven't seen him in 5 months since he walked out. I have asked that I do this via conferencing and have been told that would be fine. I have had other advice saying I should be there face to face with him? I know I will be a nervous wreck and won't be able to hide it well, since he has left I have panic attacks & a lot of shaking. I think this is s waste of time and money because he has already told me how much SS he is willing to give me. No CS is needed as boys are grown.
To top this off it's on our first sons birthday...who would have thougt? so sad. I have booked another appointment to talk to my lawyer a couple of days before this happens, so maybe she will go into more of what I can expect to see happen.

Thanks
 
You aren't forced or required by law to have a 4-way meeting, and you certainly have control over moving the date away from your son's birthday.

The benefit of a 4-way is to be able to let your lawyer negotiate but give feed back on the spot. If your ex is exagerating his debts or lying about his income or something like that, you can point it out right away. If an offer is out of the question for you, you can tell your lawyer immediately.

So look at it this way, the same routine can be done with letters, it will take weeks and cost you about $100 per letter, or you can do it at the meeting.

I would say that there is no reason the same thing couldn't be accomplished with a conference call.

The meeting may amount to nothing, but at least you have complete clarity about what the issues are.
 
Hi all, First let me say I am so thankfull to have found this site, I go online evey lunch hour just to keep up..
We have signed our seperation agreement He left in December of 2009, without going to court this is good! We were married for 23 years and had lived together 2 years before that so been together 25 yrs, I still think of him everyday we have 3 grown boys together. 2 still live at home one works the other dosn't. In the agreement my SS goes for 7 yrs or until he retires and he figures he will do in 7 yrs that would put him at 53 yrs old. My question is when he does retire will I not be able to collect SS anymore as his benifit do not come into play as an income? and will I end up paying him SS? My lawyer said no as he is still young enough to still get a job? I know my life can change in 7 yrs but the way I feel not looking for a relationship anytime soon, I just hurt so much at the moment, still trying to get my head around what he has done to me and the family. Advise or comments are fine.

Thanks
 
First I want to Welcome you and give you a *HUG*, it is hard but time will make it a little easier. You have to keep supportive people around you and i found writing my feelings in a journal helpful. Years later and i am now remarried and happier than ever. I couldn't see at the time why something so painful had to happen to me, but i believe it all happened for a purpose. If you are not up to seeing him face to face hold off on the meeting until you can, or do the conference call. You should be able to receive more than 7 years of SS, You were married for 23 years. Typically it is at least half of that time you were married 12 or so years in your case. Take your time, take a deep breath and take care of YOU! :)
 
Thanks NSNE we have done the 4 way meeting a;ready and all is said and done just don't feel good about this 7 year and he will retire stuff, every day is getting better ( much like when my mom passed away) it takes time and the thought of him leaving me and calling me at work to let me know just sinks me in a lower hole if you know what i mean
 
Keep the faith right? it will all work out in the end ( I HOPE) as i had said before I have the house and gave hime half, took all the dept
(on lawyer's advice)why I don't know. Anyway just not comfortable with the agreement lawyer said it's good EX said it's fair lol that is a red flag to me?
 
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