16 year old leaving mothers care

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Good day all. So my now 16 year old has been living with his mother (via court order) since our divorce when he was two years old. My son has never really enjoyed living with his mother and has always voiced that opinion to me. At the time i didn't take it seriously because he was young. However in more recent years he has matured a lot and is still very strongly voicing his want to live with me. When i asked for his reasons why these are just a few things he mentioned: mom never took to the dentist, doesn't buy him proper footwear to help his clubbed foot, very unhealthy living at moms (ie: dirty house, only quick, grease unhealthy food available, mom smokes like a chimney around him and in closed spaces), never checked for asthma or diabetes -which run heavy in the family and he is very overweight. They are not just simple answers . . they are serious well thought out answers. Anyways, my son did a lot research on the topic and we know that at 16 he can legally leave home and no one can stop him. So naturally he asked to live with me. . . to which i accepted. My son has left a note for his mother which explains his reason and that he wishes to still see his mother often but he feels that its better for him to live with myself. he gave a moving date as well. (yes he wrote the letter on his own, i never read it these are things he told me that he put in the letter). he left a letter because his mother has a tendency to fly into fits of rage - she has a chemical imbalance but won't take her medication. She has been abusive to me in the past physically and my son has seen her rages and didn't want a verbal confrontation as she wouldn't hear him. So basically i need to know what to do about child support? i am paying her via the court order - however my son has moved in with me as of march 8th, 2013 at 330pm. so do i still pay her this month and going forward or stop paying immediately and file paperwork to have support stopped? what papers do i file? im hopeful that my ex will see reason
 
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Run to a lawyer, right quick!

I'm not a lawyer, but if the custody arrangements were written into a separation agreement and/or a court order, you can't just unilaterally change them. You need consent or a court order. Sadly I don't think you are going to get out of paying child support until you get consent or a court order either.

Good luck, sounds like the best thing for your son, but it isn't over yet. At 16 the court will listen to his wishes, but you would have to get it to court.
 
Take the letter your son wrote and head to your local court house, they will be able to help you with the right paper work and what exactly needs to be done to get an order, that can then be sent to the FRO to have your payment stopped.

There is free legal counsel at the court house, give them a call to find out the timings
 
Should mention i live in ontario (obviously) and do not go threw fro for support. My son has spoken with a number of agencies including the local police and safe homes for youth. police are not legally able to apprehend him and return him to his mother if he doesn't want to go.
 
Since you have a court order, I assume it's being enforced via FRO or the equivalent provincial enforcement agency?

FRO has a standard process...send you ex the "Notice of Withdrawal" form and request she sign it. This will remove FRO from the mix and allow you time to do an on consent motion to terminate CS. (She would owe YOU CS technically).

If the ex refuses, have your son write an affidavit stating when he moved in with you and have it notarized at the court clerk's office.

You then attach a copy of that to a NOTICE TO END SUPPORT and file THAT with the FRO. You ex will get a copy of it, and can either agree or disagree with it.

IF she disagrees, you have to file a motion with the court. HOWEVER, in order to recup the CS paid in the interim and request costs, you HAVE to follow proper process, which is what I outlined above.

Easy Way: Notice to Withdraw signed by the ex, then a motion on consent to ratify the new arrangements..

Hard Way: Notice to Withdraw, (refused/ignored), Notice to End Support (agreed by ex), motion on consent.

Hardest way: Notice to Withdraw, (refused/ignored), Notice to End (refused/ignored), Court Motion

This will take you 6-8 weeks at minimum to get fixed. Just to give you a rough idea.
 
I answered you in your other post. You aren't through FRO which is good.
You need to get a court order to change the existing arrangement. Hopefully your ex will do one on consent.

IF SHE WON'T, you HAVE to file a motion with the court in order to have the existing arrangement changed.

You should send the ex a registered letter indicating that the new arrangements are X and requesting she do an on consent motion.

I would give her 30 days notice of support stopping. That way she can't play the poor pitiful me card. You are giving her fair warning to make alternate arrangements.

But above all else you MUST get the order changed. Having the ex agree is the fastest method, but regardless, you have to have it changed.
 
Understood Dad, but you are still in contempt of a court order. Get cracking on getting the change made legally. Usually the order of things is to file for a motion to change, and then have the child move if the motion is successful. You have extenuating circumstances perhaps, but you never know how the judge will see it, so I would get moving.
 
Given the little bit of info revealed by the original poster so far, about the ex, I'm guessing this will go "the hard way", if it's in fact true... :-)

But to the original poster, even if it goes the "hard way", your son is 16 now. He can pretty much decide where he's going to live, so it sounds like he's made that decision.

Good luck and enjoy your new living arrangements. :-)
 
Even the "hard way" shouldn't take THAT long to resolve. Couple of months on the outside.

The important part is to act accordingly and make sure you have your ducks in a row. Ask for CS from her given the new arrangements,and if she continues to cash CS cheques or whathave, then you ask for those amounts to be paid back, and ask the court for a payment schedule to be implemented. (X amount over X months)

That way if the ex plays games, FRO can enforce it. (Since you have exact amounts specified)
 
I notice the question "do I still pay her" implying that the FRO is not involved, but he pays her directly.

In which case, it is now the 11th. Send her an email and registered letter stating the same thing:
Dear (you,)
(Son's Name) now resides with me, according to his own reasons, which I know you fully understand. As of April 1st I will no longer be paying child support. I will have the existing order updated as soon as possible.

If you have anything to say about this I am open to listening, please email a response.

Your's truly,
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You have now given her three weeks notice of the ending of support (do it TODAY!) Download form 15 Motion to Change and you fill it out and file it. You have the option of not seeking support, but you will have to state reasons, for example "I earn $80k per year and can easily support my child. His mother is on welfare and there is no need to seek the table amount of support." Otherwise you file a financial disclosure and seek support according to what you believe she earns.

This is easier to do with a Consent Motion, but will she co-operate?
 
DowntroddenDad said:
Understood Dad, but you are still in contempt of a court order. Get cracking on getting the change made legally. Usually the order of things is to file for a motion to change, and then have the child move if the motion is successful. You have extenuating circumstances perhaps, but you never know how the judge will see it, so I would get moving.
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Contempt is a very serious charge that is not applied lightly in family court. If one is in the process of updating the court order, and the child is in fact living with the other parent, it is unimaginable that a judge will find contempt for not paying support, when the new order would have required a retroactive repayment anyway. That being said, you should be in the process of updating the court order.

By the way, I am merging the two threads.
 
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