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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 04-30-2006, 10:53 PM
chuckblvd chuckblvd is offline
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Default Just need some help

Well were do I begin I guess at the start. I went into the military to support my family and country. When I left all was good and she was going to move but as time went by she changed her mind. Then I get hurt and blow out a couple discs in my back get an Honerable Discharge come home and she is not happy to see me I sleep on the couch for 4 months and all she does is yell at me and curse me out. I get a job making good money about 5days after I am out. then she tells me that she has been dating other people but she wants to try to work it out and next thing I know she wont let me back in the house and wants a divorce. This was about a month ago. She still either calls or texts me at least once a day most of the time it is nasty but she does have bi-polar. I dont want to give in because I know the person that she can be when not in an episode. Please help me I do not want to get devorced. This is my first and last marrage.
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Old 05-01-2006, 12:27 AM
Jenny Jenny is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chuckblvd
She still either calls or texts me at least once a day most of the time it is nasty but she does have bi-polar. I don't want to give in because I know the person that she can be when not in an episode.
Is she on meds? I guess I can just suggest that you try not to worry about things that are out of your control. You can behave in a way that gives her the space she says she wants ... let her know that you will be here for her when she needs you or wants you. Unfortunately if she is determined to divorce - she will. I might also suggest counselling- even if she wont go - go alone - you will learn some coping skills that will really help you in a situation like this.
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Old 05-01-2006, 03:38 PM
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Chuckblvd,

Sorry to hear about your predicament. She is definately dealing with some major issues.

This IS a tough time for you ... I recall when my spouse said she wanted a divorce -- felt as if a tidal wave had hit me ... I was all over the map, emotionally.

If you love you wife and want to try an work things out ... check out www.marriagebuilders.com or www.divorcebusting ... I've bought books from both authors ... it's helped me to understand what was/is going on and what the cause and possible solutions.

As Jenny said, there are no guarantees when it comes to your wife and what she wants to do ... but you can become educated in this process and learn and eventually better yourself.

My prayers go out to you ... we can all relate to the difficult times your in.

Hubby
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Old 05-01-2006, 10:04 PM
chuckblvd chuckblvd is offline
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Thank you for your suport

Unfortanutly she is not on any meds for her bi-polar. But she is on meds for her back she got in a pretty bad car accident and has a messed up back. It seems like the bi-polar or at least her attitude is alot worse on them but she thinks that she needs them.


I will deff. check out them sites and books too. But yall are right on the fact that if she wants the divorce there is no stoping her. That is how she is It does baffle me that she hasent done it yet tho Oh-well.

I also was seriuosly considering conseling or seeing a phyciatrist (man i cant spell) Just for me gto figue out what is going on inside and why I still love her so much after all that has been said and done.
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Old 05-01-2006, 10:12 PM
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Counselling is a great idea. Do you have an employee assistance plan through work? Plus many benefit plans have benefits that cover a psychologist. Psych consults to a psychiatrist have a very long waiting list right now- but the benefit is that they are free with ohip. Even talk to your family doc and get a referal to counselling.
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Old 05-02-2006, 01:35 AM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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I would definitely attempt marriage counseling. Your marriage is going through some changes and difficult times at this point in time. Both parties have to be be willing to give it a try to save their marriage and avoid a divorce.

I do know some military people and couples and this is one of their biggest complaints, their spouse will get sent away for months at end and when the spouse does come home, they have to reacquaint themselves with each other.
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Old 05-15-2006, 06:10 AM
single1 single1 is offline
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Hi,
I know what you are enduring is very difficult to accept its simply because you still love your wife.If you have really decided to change then make her understand it and if she really loves you she will stay by your side for ever but you have to keep your words.As from now show her that you are changing and i'm certain that this idea of getting separated will go away,do what she likes and pleased her in all possible ways.In love nothing is impossible and its never late to change.
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Old 05-15-2006, 06:10 AM
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Hi,
I know what you are enduring is very difficult to accept its simply because you still love your wife.If you have really decided to change then make her understand it and if she really loves you she will stay by your side for ever but you have to keep your words.As from now show her that you are changing and i'm certain that this idea of getting separated will go away,do what she likes and pleased her in all possible ways.In love nothing is impossible and its never late to change.
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Old 05-15-2006, 06:10 AM
single1 single1 is offline
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Hi,
I know what you are enduring is very difficult to accept its simply because you still love your wife.If you have really decided to change then make her understand it and if she really loves you she will stay by your side for ever but you have to keep your words.As from now show her that you are changing and i'm certain that this idea of getting separated will go away,do what she likes and pleased her in all possible ways.In love nothing is impossible and its never late to change.
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