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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 04-01-2006, 11:11 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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I just feel like venting, so please bear with me. My trial starts on Monday. I'm not prepared, because I believed that we had an agreement in principle, so my lawyers told me and the ex's side agreed.

Now on the eve of trial we are down to dividing household contents. I have agreed to all what the ex wants out of the home. I consider myself a "country girl" and not materialist. He can take what he wants. I will replace it eventually, if ever. I actually prefer the simple life.

But here is the kicker, ex says I have his late Grandfather's coin collection, and it is a deal breaker. If I don't produce it by trial on Monday, the whole deal is off and we proceed to trial on every issue. In all honesty I don't have the coin collection nor have I ever seen it or heard my ex talk about it after a 15 year marriage. I have ask through my lawyers, where I could locate it, if it does exist, but their side is not responding.

I know this sounds naive, but I think they should have lie detectors set up in Family Court, so the Judge knows who to believe.
Old 04-01-2006, 11:27 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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Just to add to my post, ex has ask for all electronics in the house to be delivered to him ASAP. I have agreed.

I'm thinking this might be good for the children, (they are all teenagers). No TV's, VCR's, X-boxes. And haven forbid computers, no MSN for the kids or me. Maybe they will get there homework done instead.

I will somehow, get the money together for a used computer, or go to the library, so I can continue to post on Ottawa Divorce. We wont tell the kids
Old 04-01-2006, 11:32 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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If this is the first that you heard of this item and there was never any other mention of it, before hand, all you can do it cite that you don't have it or no knowledge of it. Remain open that you will indeed look for it and ask for suggestions of where to look.

The other thing to keep in mind is

Since it was not mentioned before hand or throughout your relationship, he does have an onus to proove that same even existed and is in your household.

If he really wants to go to trial over an item then you have no other choice than to follow through. If he is wheeling and dealing to avoid a trial it is apparent that they do not want a trial as well.

In regards to your second post, the electronics are material items, what you buy today is already obsolete and tomorrow something better, faster and more bells and whistles and cheaper is available. I seen some great computer deals at just yesterday


Last edited by logicalvelocity; 04-01-2006 at 11:43 PM.
Old 04-01-2006, 11:40 PM
sasha1 sasha1 is offline
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Oh Grace! I'm so sorry this is all happening to you! I can't imagine what a jerk your ex is; obviously, if you're readily agreeing to hand over all other items he's requesting, you don't have the stinkin' coin collection! Clearly, he's wanting to go to trial. Isn't there anyway he can be compelled to show that he ever had said coin collection? If he is unable to, maybe it would give you more leverage to go for special costs, in that he 'negotiated' a settlement in bad faith.

I wish you all the best, and will say a prayer for you and yours before bed tonight. Even without being as prepared as you'd like, I'm sure you'll do just fine.. you've been preparing for this for years! Your ex has clearly been very unreasonable, and I'm sure the judge will realize that quickly. I hope you get everything you'd have been willing to settle with, plus costs, AND the electronics! At least the computer, if nothing else! Tell the judge you've got a lot of people on a support site who REALLY need you! And regularily!

Let us know just as soon as possible what's happening, ok? Keep your chin up, girl; you're such a strong lady with exceptional integrity. It shows through in all your posts, and it'll show in court, too.

Old 04-02-2006, 07:49 AM
Jenny Jenny is offline
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Yeah the coin collection and the picasso we used to keep in the basement

I really hope you get access to a computer to keep posting. I really enjoy your posts!
Old 04-02-2006, 09:00 AM
sunday sunday is offline
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Dear Grace, you are a woman of great strength and integrity. Its a shame your ex feels he has to stoop to playing games! I hope the saying "what goes around comes around" holds truth in your case.
Everything WILL work out for the best for you and your family!
Old 04-02-2006, 11:29 AM
Grace Grace is offline
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Thanks all for your support. I know that it is silly to fight over household contents, as they are usually valued at garage sale prices. I can also replace these items at a garage sale. Cheaper then my lawyers fees to argue about it. Although I cannot come up with a coin collection that doesn't exist.

As far as my computer, if he wants it, then I will tell the Judge I cannot work (I work from home, on this computer), and he can pay me spousal support, which was not on the table before.

I really think the problem is my ex loves to litigate. He owns a very successful business, and has family money. So legal fees were not an issue for him before. Although now he is self represented. He gets all "pumped" up in court and loves to argue, win or lose.

I just want to move on.
Old 04-02-2006, 10:50 PM
gooddadgoingmad gooddadgoingmad is offline
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Grace....I wish you all the best tomorrow! I hope your ex is just being a bully and that's all. Perhaps because you've been so willing to give him what he wants, he is pushing you and hoping you'll cave.

All you can do is go in there tomorrow and tell the truth...which I'm sure you'll have no problem doing! Hey, then you can just sit back and watch the show that your ex puts on!

Seriously though...I know you'll do fantastic. Imagine how wonderful it will be when it's all over!

Blessings Grace
Old 04-03-2006, 12:49 AM
bearall bearall is offline
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Good Luck Grace

You deserve to be heard,my heart and soul goes out to you!
Old 04-03-2006, 05:23 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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We finally have an agreement, signed by a Judge FINAL ORDER. I know there is never any real finality in Family Law. But I want to take comfort in this order for the "moment".

It was quite the scene at the courthouse this morning. My ex insisted that I bring his half of the housefhold contents except some large furniture items (which he now has 30 days to remove) to the courthouse or he wouldn't sign the deal. It took 3 vehicles, including 2 vans. Crazy what it all comes down too.

Thanks again all, for your support. I'm going to stick around for a while longer.
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