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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-08-2009, 08:47 AM
tt5 tt5 is offline
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Default what is my position

i could use some advice or insight
married 25 years,of which my wife did not work years 3 and 4 but had worked all others,she doubled my wage for those years as a semi professional [accounting]then she had a failed business which caused myself to go bankrupt,lost house and 2 cars as it was never incorporated and i was told it was and business was also doing fine.. I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE CHECKED BUT SEVEN YEARS DATING AND 25 YEARS MARRIED ,I TRUSTED HER .
marriage was in trouble for awhile before this and the business ended it .she asked me to leave home , easiest decision i ever made ..i did leave with the last of 3 children, a 16 year old , following me mths later ,he chose to stay originally because of friends in the area only ...no problem with his and my relationship .
my other 2 kids were at university and now have huge osap bills as a result of our financial blunder .... my youngest child is now at university and conti nues to live with me after school year [4 month summer ]and i cover all costs not covered by OSAP .including 4 mths rent at apartment in city while he is living and working with me
i live with my girlfriend of 4 years and share half the bills and continue to work at my job which just covers my bills with a bit of savings .my wife [ex] has never paid any child support and not one penny to any kids let alone our youngest and actually hasn't worked since the second year after we separated ,she has virtually no contact with any kids and now has huge oxy addictions and may never work ..i can't get her to go for divorce without huge scene and stirring the pot which in the past when i have tried ,has been scary involving POLICE having to deal with her...
i worry about ss claims among others because we are still married when all i want is to help my kids with loans and be able to eke out a existance doing so..that is main reason i have put off divorce ..a lawyer told me to wait 6 years because things would be more in my favour although there is no assets left obviously and her business debts are to government only and are totally in her name and i'm not responsible [i checked with them ,nervy eh/,LOL]
any responses would be appreciated
p.s. the months i was out of house without my son ,i paid 3 times the amount i was legally required to pay to float house and get her on her feet..
she lived with another man for about a year and worked at 3-5 other jobs over the next two years ,most of them paid more than i make but quit all of them for one reason or another
  #2  
Old 10-09-2009, 11:00 AM
representingself representingself is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tt5 View Post
i could use some advice or insight
married 25 years,of which my wife did not work years 3 and 4 but had worked all others,she doubled my wage for those years as a semi professional [accounting]then she had a failed business which caused myself to go bankrupt,lost house and 2 cars as it was never incorporated and i was told it was and business was also doing fine.. I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE CHECKED BUT SEVEN YEARS DATING AND 25 YEARS MARRIED ,I TRUSTED HER.
marriage was in trouble for awhile before this and the business ended it .she asked me to leave home , easiest decision i ever made ...
There isn't much you can do about this. It occured before the date of separation. I assume that she also lost assets in the bankrupsy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tt5 View Post
i did leave with the last of 3 children, a 16 year old , following me mths later ,he chose to stay originally because of friends in the area only ...no problem with his and my relationship.
You are responsible for child support for the months that the child was living with your ex. She is responsible for child support for the months/years that the child has lived with you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tt5 View Post
my other 2 kids were at university and now have huge osap bills as a result of our financial blunder .... my youngest child is now at university and continues to live with me after school year [4 month summer ]and i cover all costs not covered by OSAP .including 4 mths rent at apartment in city while he is living and working with me.
By law, the NCP is responsible for child support as long as the children are attending school on a full time basis, up until the time that they have completed their first diploma/degree. She is also responsible for her pro-rated share of their educational costs.

You are definitely entitled to support for your youngest.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tt5 View Post
i live with my girlfriend of 4 years and share half the bills and continue to work at my job which just covers my bills with a bit of savings.
Your personal relationship and your financial affiars with her are irrelevant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tt5 View Post
my wife [ex] has never paid any child support and not one penny to any kids let alone our youngest and actually hasn't worked since the second year after we separated ,she has virtually no contact with any kids and now has huge oxy addictions and may never work ..
Whether she chooses to have contact with the children or not does not have any impact on her financial responsibility to the children.

If she is deliberately unemployed or under-employed, a Judge can impute an income to her that matches her potential and she will be responsible for child support based on that amount.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tt5 View Post
i can't get her to go for divorce without huge scene and stirring the pot which in the past when i have tried ,has been scary involving POLICE having to deal with her...
i worry about ss claims among others because we are still married when all i want is to help my kids with loans and be able to eke out a existance doing so..that is main reason i have put off divorce ..
Avoiding this problem is NOT going to make it go away, and IF she is entitled to spousal support, she can get a retroactive order and you'll end up with a HUGE bill.

Also, maybe you will decide that you want to remarry sometime in the next 6 years, and the battle will begin then.

All you are doing is avoiding the inevitable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tt5 View Post
a lawyer told me to wait 6 years because things would be more in my favour although there is no assets left obviously and her business debts are to government only and are totally in her name and i'm not responsible [i checked with them ,nervy eh/,LOL]
6 years is a long time to wait... and even if her business debts are to the Government, you are still liable for 50% of those debts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tt5 View Post
any responses would be appreciated
p.s. the months i was out of house without my son ,i paid 3 times the amount i was legally required to pay to float house and get her on her feet..
she lived with another man for about a year and worked at 3-5 other jobs over the next two years ,most of them paid more than i make but quit all of them for one reason or another
You will have to be more clear about exactly what you are asking. Maybe a list of specific questions.
  #3  
Old 10-09-2009, 06:27 PM
tt5 tt5 is offline
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thanks alot
you have answered my questions
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