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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-06-2009, 05:04 PM
jennw jennw is offline
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Cool Is this even possible?

Ok...really short question. Seperation agreement between my husband and ex-wife has been in effect for 5 years. She moved to another city shortly after the agreement was signed and since then has had 2 more children and has not had to work due to 'marrying-in' to a very wealthy family.

Anyway...she now thinks its too much to meet my ex-husband every other weekend with their daughter at the halfway point between our city and hers. Its about 100km 1 way..so they usually meet about 50 km away every other Friday and then again on the Sunday.

She wants the agreement changed so that he will be 100% responsible for pickup and dropoff.

What do you think the likelihood of that happening would be? We have on many occasions done the drive both way due to various excuses she has come up...but honestly to make it binding? And to make us change the agreement for that...dpes that happen?? And what if we refuse?
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Old 10-06-2009, 05:56 PM
Foredeck Foredeck is offline
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Sorry to hear that. For a material change like that, the onus would be on her to prove that your husband should go pick up his daughter.

I've read cases on this quite a bit, since my ex-wife was considering moving about 200km. I think that judges go either way, it's really a flip of a coin.

I think however that it's slightly more common that he could make your husband drive the 100km, but that they split the cost. I am not sure if you can charge wear and tear on the car and I doubt that it includes anything for your husband's time or if he has to stop for a meal.

I would offer to do the drive, but charge her 0.33$ (CRA accepts up to 0.42$ for mileage expense, so it's very reasonably) per km for the drive. That way, she has an incentive to make the drive herself.
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Old 10-06-2009, 06:53 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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Agreed, if one party is seeking a change in the court order, they generally need to prove that there is a "material change" (i.e. some significant change in her/your/child's circumstances) that justifies the request.
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Old 10-06-2009, 07:08 PM
got2bkid got2bkid is offline
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What has been the "change" in her life that she no longer wants to share driving? Is it just that she doesn't want to, or are there other reasons? If they are not good reasons, I think a judge will say "no".

It does happen though, my husbands ex moved accross the country with the kids. He had in his seperation agreement that she would pay a porportion of the airfare (2x/year) when she recieved a full-time job. He fought to have her pay right away, but she had a free lawyer for the divorce and he didn't, so fighting over this was costing him too much $$$.

In hind-sight, he should have fought. She didn't get a full time job for 8 years. We'ver paid over 24K ourselves to have his children visit. This summer, she got a job, and paid us a measly $200 for the first time ever (10% of the cost because she claimed it shouldn't be truly "proportional" yet, untill a full year of work LOL)!
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Old 10-06-2009, 08:41 PM
jennw jennw is offline
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Thanks everyone! There has been no real change in anything material for her..she just finds it terribly inconvenient for her to have to meet him whenever. She has 2 other kids in addition to their daughter and claims that its hard for her to get them organized. She has a full-time nanny and has not had to return to work...so I would expect that she may not look highly upon for even bringing this issue up. My husband and I work full time and have a 3 year old so really the circumstances are quite different...she should be driving both ways!! lol

How does it work if she wants to change the sep.agreement? Does her lawyer present us with 'whatever' and then we then have to go through this all again??
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