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rvalentines · #1 09-23-2020, 06:37 PM

Hi all,
I've noticed many Fathers have 35% access with their kids, right under the 40% threshold where Child support needs to be re-evaluated.

For those that have 35%, is there a reason why you didn't go for 40% (or even 50%) to have your child support re-evaluated?

I've heard many Fathers say "The judge wouldn't give me more time". Well if you can watch your kid 35% of the time, why can't you do it 40% of the time?

Would love to hear reasoning on this.
Thanks

rockscan · #2 09-23-2020, 06:41 PM

The 40% and even 50% are not necessarily guaranteed to get offset support. Before you make such a broad statement about Dads not fighting for more you should probably do some research. For many it was status quo, availability, financial circumstances, employment for both parties and cost of litigation.

ETA if they went in arguing to avoid paying cs then that could have also sunk their case.

pinkHouses · #3 09-23-2020, 06:58 PM

Back in the day that was the norm and perhaps fathers that remember that simply kept going along with that but 50/50 is the norm. If you can do 40% of the time why not do 50%; Mother or father may chose freedom over raising kids.

rvalentines · #4 09-23-2020, 08:30 PM

I'm trying to understand why the Judges ordered Fathers 38% access time when the Fathers were aiming for 50%?

I mean if you're capable of watching the child 38% of the time, why not 50%?

I've heard countless cases where the Father was aiming for 50% and only received 35 or 38%. What is the logic? How do you ensure you don't get stuck at 35%?

tilt · #5 09-23-2020, 09:07 PM

Judges are wise to parents who are trying to increase access time just to avoid CS.

Generally, pre-separation behaviour is looked at. Despite the large number of women in the workforce many co-parenting relationships depend on one parent being “primary” - doing the majority of the emotional and physical labour of parenting, prioritising parenting over their career/education. The parents that transition to 50/50 parenting after separation are really just continuing the status quo that was set during the relationship when it was intact.

A familiar pattern is a parent who agrees to the EOW schedule and then, a couple years after separation meets another person who isn’t happy about the CS flowing to the other parent and suddenly the payor parent runs to court insisting on 50/50 with the plan to have their new partner do a lot of the actual parenting.

There are still many parents who, for whatever reason, do not want 50/50 parenting time, which is really the best for all parties. An indifferent parent is not in a child’s best interest.

rvalentines · #6 09-23-2020, 09:56 PM

Thank you VERY much for the detailed and well-written explanation. Greatly appreciated.

I thought there was some bias against fathers to ensure they pay CS but it appears to be more about the relationship prior to the separation.

My concern is that my ex has deceptively altered the status quo by filing false allegations against me and has withheld the children from me. I'm hoping the status quo she has artificially built will not factor in to the final decision of 50/50.

pinkHouses · #7 09-25-2020, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rvalentines

My concern is that my ex has deceptively altered the status quo by filing false allegations against me and has withheld the children from me. I'm hoping the status quo she has artificially built will not factor in to the final decision of 50/50.

Yes, that is what some people do, lie and the punishment for that is....basically non-existent. I do not know how your STBex held your children from you but it happens and people get away with it. It is infuriating.

HardWorkingDad · #8 09-25-2020, 09:17 AM

For me, it was either wait 2 years as we agreed in our SA or go MAJORLY into debt and emotional fatigue battling it out for 2 years.
I chose to wait the 2 years. That money I would much rather go to creating happy memories and experiences for our kids than goto a system thats setup to be adversarial.

rvalentines · #9 09-25-2020, 08:00 PM

What was your access like for the two years? Were you eventually able to get to 50/50 after 2 years? If not, what type of access did you get? Thank you for your inputs.

HardWorkingDad · #10 09-26-2020, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rvalentines

What was your access like for the two years? Were you eventually able to get to 50/50 after 2 years? If not, what type of access did you get? Thank you for your inputs.

I have my kids 39% of the time. EOW, plus two over nights one week and one over night the following week. We switch to 5050 next year when D turns 4.

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