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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 03-03-2018, 04:49 PM
youngdad91 youngdad91 is offline
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Default other parent sending weekend bag to school with child

so recently agreed that exchanges would happen at the school. mom been pushing against this for over 4 years and regretfully agreed to it following recommendations of the OCL and some yelling and screaming at her by the settlement conference judge

mom never sent bag with child prior to that

after our agreement, mom asked child to come to her house after school to pickup weekend bag. I told child then I may not see her mom when she's goes back to school and may not have the bag

comes the weekend mom sends child to school with the additional bag. this is a 7 year old child. has coached the child to wear what's in the bag to not forget mom

now the child is in this situation where she has to carry an additional bag back and forth for weekend visits and I think it's a creative way of mom to further influence the child against wanting to visit me (further to the mother's alienating behaviour recognized in the OCL report)

What is best thing for me to do here, the whole point of exchange at school was so we don't have to deal with each other now she's sending this whole additional bag with child just to have a presence in some way on my weekends.
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Old 03-03-2018, 05:33 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Get some clothes for your house. Take kid shopping to do so. Tell ex no bag needed.
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Old 03-03-2018, 06:03 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Totally agree with Rocksan. Buy your child their own clothes, toothbrush, toiletries, etc to keep at your house. Make it a fun shopping adventure. They’ll love it and their mom will have absolutely no say and no influence in the matter.
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Old 03-03-2018, 07:56 PM
youngdad91 youngdad91 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Get some clothes for your house. Take kid shopping to do so.
This was done long ago. About 2 years ago. That is mainly why it makes it frustrating because the bag is totally unnecessary.

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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Tell ex no bag needed.
Exactly what I was thinking.
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  #5  
Old 03-03-2018, 10:02 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Tell the kid to leave the bag at school? Since she doesn't need any of what's in it, she may as well not lug it around.
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Old 03-03-2018, 10:50 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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What does the child want? Does the child care? the child should be able to take what they want back and forth between houses. If the child wants to bring the bag, then let her. If the child doesnt want the bag then leave it in the school locker. If the child wants 1 thing out of the bag, then bring the 1 thing.

I have never understood why parents get into such conflict over a bag of stuff. My ex tried to control stuff for awhile, eventually gave up.
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Old 03-04-2018, 12:54 AM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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IMO, that bag sends a message to the kid that they dont have 2 homes, but 1 home and a place to visit. I agree with everyone else, ditch the bag.
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Old 03-09-2018, 09:49 AM
Asphenaz Asphenaz is offline
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Will telling the EX that the bag is not needed change anything? Probably not. Will the EX experience a light bulb moment and realize she is being unreasonable? Probably never.

My EX does things like this all the time. I learned to ignore it and let the kids decide. Both my son and daughter often leave things at the school or at my place.

Just be ready for her demanding that X or Y item be returned, or sending your D to your place with a shopping list.
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Old 03-12-2018, 11:02 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Don't forget Fluffy when considering all of this...

http://canlii.ca/t/gt08x
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Old 03-12-2018, 03:18 PM
ensorcelled ensorcelled is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Don't forget Fluffy when considering all of this...

http://canlii.ca/t/gt08x
HA! I love this case so much!
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