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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 10-24-2015, 11:07 AM
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Default New seperation agreement, schedule (new member)

Posting on behalf of a new member...

Originally Posted by bmw1122

Got handed separation documents, she's going on a 'power-trip'.

she was offering me 3 hours / week of visitation to a a close by public place. My lawyer told me the minimum the court gives is 'Fri-Sun' every other week.

And she was saying she'll only ask for $200/month for child support.
Issue is I have a severe back injury haven't worked in almost 2 years.

Lawyer is saying I shouldn't give her sole-custody based on the things I've said (her house has a very abusive history) The judge will thin I'm negligent to want the child to stay in that bad of environment.
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Old 10-24-2015, 02:35 PM
bmw1122 bmw1122 is offline
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Thank you blinkandimgone,

The child is 3.5 years old. The child and her are living with her parents. I have no police records, incidents or anything. Her parents house is where abuse is pretty common - fist fights between father sons , once throwing my infant son when he was a child carriage seat. Her uncle has molested her and her brothers.

She's put down, the "he's controlling abusive, physically, mentally, emotionally " etc. There's no proof, but I'm guessing its pretty common to say these things.
She's been the primary care taker because I was away for studying for one year.

from all the reading, I'm guessing the moms get the sole-custody usually. I'm wondering why should I bother fighting, loosing and I'll have to pay for her lawyer as well. May at best ask for more visitation.
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Old 10-24-2015, 02:41 PM
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First things first. Drop "visitation" from your vocabulary and instead use "parenting time." I'd also recommend not using the term "access" either.

'Visitation' is when you go to see the body of deceased before they are cremated or buried. 'Visitation' is also when you go visit someone in prison.

Welcome to the forum!
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Old 10-24-2015, 08:10 PM
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Call CAS if you have concerns of abuse. You seem to have no proof of abuse in her house, as she seems to have no proof of abuse in yours - although you each claim it exists. If you actually believe abuse exists in her house, you've been negligent in not reporting it for the last 3.5 years.

Decisions are made on the status quo and since you've been willingly missing from the parenting for a year during your study period and allowed her to be the primary caretaker, you do have one steep hill to climb. But it is not insurmountable - it will take time and patience.

And I don't think you'd be order to pay her costs if you propose a step-up parenting plan that cumulates with 50-50.

CS is payable on yours and her income - whether it be from a salary or ODSP. CS is a calculation, not a negotiation.
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Old 11-02-2015, 10:21 AM
bmw1122 bmw1122 is offline
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A question about Separation agreements.
-If for example, we stipulate ONLY CS on the separation agreement and nothing else. Can the other party still claim other expenses from s7 or post-secondary education etc?
- If its a separation agreement, does that mean If I have to enforce CS through FRO, they may not adhere to it because its not a court order?
- Once we've decided custody, it becomes much harder to change it ?

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Old 11-02-2015, 10:41 AM
nfc4ever nfc4ever is offline
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1) In the drafts we've been flying about even though post-secondary is a s7 expense, it has its own section. Under s7, we have agreed to no s7 expenses except post-secondary. The language is specifically in the agreement since its a deviation from what's normal. My own process is currently being negotiated.

2) Once you have the agreement properly countersigned and witnessed and filed with the court it has the full strength of a court order. As such it can be filed with the FRO. There can be clauses that say that the parties agree not to file with the FRO unless X support payments are missed.

3) I can't give you a definitive answer for that. I would think so. It may change once the child is in their teens and can vocalize a preference to reside with one parent over another, or if there was a protective issue in place.
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