Hello... Anyone have any advice on the following situation??
Brief Background:
- Highly acrimonious separation for the last 2.5 years. She is extremely High Conflict.
- 2 kids.. currently 15 & 17.
- Kids are living with her... but I live nearby and text, talk or see them constantly. I have an excellent relationship with both.
- Recently had Settlement Conference which led to nothing... she called it a "waste of time"... presumably as several things did not go her way.
The Problem:
Against the advice of every judge, lawyer, councillor or mediator we've ever met, she routinely and deeply involves the kids in all aspects of our issues. She continually tries to get me to the table, with the kids as mediators. Everyone says this causes tremendous damage to the kids. Kids have read separation agreement, settlement briefs and she has fully indoctronated them into her arguements. They routinely come to me and say, "Moms numbers make sense... unless you can convince me otherwise, I have to believe you're the problem".
I continue to take the high road and say, "I am advised by the judge/lawyer/etc not to discuss this level of detail with you".
Questions:
1) What sort of lasting "damage" is down the road for the kids?
2) Is there anything I can do to minimize it at this point in time?
3) When/if, this finally ends, any suggestions on how best to deal with it?
Thanks for any pointers
Brief Background:
- Highly acrimonious separation for the last 2.5 years. She is extremely High Conflict.
- 2 kids.. currently 15 & 17.
- Kids are living with her... but I live nearby and text, talk or see them constantly. I have an excellent relationship with both.
- Recently had Settlement Conference which led to nothing... she called it a "waste of time"... presumably as several things did not go her way.
The Problem:
Against the advice of every judge, lawyer, councillor or mediator we've ever met, she routinely and deeply involves the kids in all aspects of our issues. She continually tries to get me to the table, with the kids as mediators. Everyone says this causes tremendous damage to the kids. Kids have read separation agreement, settlement briefs and she has fully indoctronated them into her arguements. They routinely come to me and say, "Moms numbers make sense... unless you can convince me otherwise, I have to believe you're the problem".
I continue to take the high road and say, "I am advised by the judge/lawyer/etc not to discuss this level of detail with you".
Questions:
1) What sort of lasting "damage" is down the road for the kids?
2) Is there anything I can do to minimize it at this point in time?
3) When/if, this finally ends, any suggestions on how best to deal with it?
Thanks for any pointers
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