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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #1  
Old 06-03-2006, 10:18 PM
dazedconfused dazedconfused is offline
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Default How do you say its over?

I'm not sure how to do this. My husband and I have been trying to save our marriage for the last year. It's not getting any better. At least not from my point of view. We've tried, both of us, we really have. My heart's just not in it anymore.

I know it's going to hurt him. I know he's going to try to get me to keep trying. How do I make him understand that done is done, no more? Whether he agrees or not, I'm just done. I'm ready to move on. He can't fix this. I'm not even sure what "this" is. I just know that I don't love him anymore and haven't for a long time. I thought it was maybe just a rough patch, or maybe we just needed to reconnect. That's not it. I've tried to get past this feeling for almost a year and save my marriage, but it's just not working. I don't even like him anymore.

I guess it's a good thing we don't have kids. I don't want to hurt him. I just want out.
  #2  
Old 06-03-2006, 10:30 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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dazedconfused,

Have you considered a trial separation. I would sit down with your husband and explain your feelings. Put your thoughts out in the open.

If you have tried to save your marriage for the last year and exhausted a number of measures, Tell him that you want a separation, If you remain separate and apart for a year, you could file for a divorce, no fault.

Everyone deserves to be happy.

lv
  #3  
Old 06-04-2006, 10:30 AM
Divorcemanagement Divorcemanagement is offline
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There is no easy way to do it and both of you will be hurt as a result. It is possible to fall out of love with someone and often either party will blame the other for the failure of the marriage - that's normal.

How do you say "it's over"? No easy answer - what does your heart tell you?
  #4  
Old 06-20-2006, 08:06 AM
Springheeled Jack Springheeled Jack is offline
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Default Take it from one who knows.

MY wife left me two months ago. Same situation,

Yes it is going to hurt him, that you have to deal with. I was numb with shock. Yes he's going to try to get me to keep trying. I did, but no amount of begging and pleading that I did, made any difference.

Ads for making him understand well, you need to talk to him, talk not shout not demand, just talk. He wont agree, I guarentee that. Dont be siprised if he's angry, but who at, you, him the situation whos to tell. Dont dictate to him, remember he has feeling just as much as you,

Explain why you dont love him any more. Im still hurting, I dont want to face my wife. Dont say "can we still be friends?" Please, I had that said to me. That hurts, and its will be like a slap in the face.

I wont be friends with my wife, not now, maybe in the future but not now.

The easy way is to talk to him, make him understand, the hard way is to walk out with no explaination, like i had done to me.

The very best of luck to you both and may you both find your owen happiness
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Old 06-20-2006, 02:01 PM
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hubby hubby is offline
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Default Attraction, love and commitment.

I learned something VERY interesting on the weekend. It is this, that when you first meet, the sparks of attraction, love and finally commitement happened is such a natural way in the beginning.

However, over time, for many reasons -- due to actions or words or some other thing, you fall out of love.

Heres where one can learn to fall back in love -- by leaving. Yeah I know, but think about it, you leave, you begin to learn and grow, turing into a new person and who knows, a future encounter with the EX may once again ... spark the attractions, love and commitment.

You see it ALL the time, couple seperating and over a period of time, end up getting back together ... depending on how well the original seperation went. If it was nasty, forget it. If it was amicable, there is always ... hope.

Hubby
  #6  
Old 06-22-2006, 03:22 AM
Springheeled Jack Springheeled Jack is offline
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Default I agree

Ive had no contact with my ex wife to be for 4 weeks. the emails texts and calls from me have gotten less and less.
She wont talk to me any way

She is going to have to because her stuff is still in the house. So she is going to have to contact me. She is going to have to collect it and her free loading daughter.

As for future contact? It isnt for the want of trying.
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