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  • Just wondering

    In My case, I just went on days from afternoons. I am now orking 7:00 to 3:00pm. I had my Lawyer write my ex's lawyer informing them of the changes and that I am requesting shared parenting 50/50. I have not heard anything yet. My ex originally sent me a letter stating she will allow me to see the kids every Wednesday and every second weekend Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I don't agree with this, I would like them 50/50.
    She moved out over a year ago and we still have not attended court or formalized any divorce proceedings.
    I would also be interested in knowing if I have the children on my holidays all August or part of, I'm I still responsible to pay full child support. I will be taking my kids up north and figure it's going to cost me quite a bit.
    Why should I have to pay when the kids are with me for those weeks.

  • #2
    answer

    yes you are responsible for the support until you haveorder stating otherwise.......if the children are currently residing with your ex for more than 60% of the time (throughout the 12 months of the year)......dont bring it down to money your kids are not up to the challenge.......trust me hsave been going through this crap for years........dont reduce support if your kids are with you for a month or a week out of the month......its only hurting your kids in the end not your ex.....THINK of whats in the best interest of your children ALWAYS.......this will also help you when you do face the judge......looks good in your favour........whatever happened or happens between adults the kids will either suffer or feel the wrath of it all........I have tried to keep my child out of my fight with my ex but he keeps dragging our child in......just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THINK OF THE KIDS ONLY......hate your ex on your time not their time with you

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks Littleman,
      I agree with you the kids should not have to suffer. I do pay my child support even though no court has instructed me to. What upsets me is that my ex is not willing to assist in financially supporting my kids. Everything they have is because of me. It’s been almost one and half years now and she has made NO attempt the find a Job. The Law clearly states that both parents should contribute to raising their children. I would give anything to have them 50% of the time.
      As for reducing child support. I feel if the children are with me for my holidays I should not be paying for those weeks. It will cost me double since I will be paying for everything while they’re in my care.
      I will try to have this build into my separation agreement once we finally get to it

      Comment


      • #4
        support

        Hi OBI,

        I dont want to discourage you however the family law clearly states the custodial parent (your ex) is entitled to full support if the children reside more than 60% of the time in her care.......this means the weeks you have them you can not reduce support........unless theoretically and you can prove it.......the children are in her cae less than 219 days out of one calendar year you are responsible for full care.......if your children attend school this equation is practically impossible unless you live in VERY close proximity......I only know this information whereas I am currently in court over a similar matter and its time consuming, emotionally and physically draining however I continue the fight for my childs sake.....trust me the support I recieve for one child (300$/mnth) barely feeds my growing child......

        if she is not contributing to the welfare of her children then that is something that doesnt work in her favour.......a parent with steady income can supply a more stable home for a child than one that doesnt..........consider all your options with this (may help you in the long run).......you dont pay her alimony do you.........I would be definately visiting the courthouse and get this going for orders of custody and divorce without alimony.......is she disabled and cant work.........if not GO FOR IT

        Comment


        • #5
          OB1,

          There is no doubt to me that its costs a significant amount of money to accommodate a child while in your care. However, when the child is in your care, it still costs the custodial parent to maintain a home for a child. Child support is intended for more than just food and clothing for child but also shelter.

          Both parent's are obligated to support their child. It is presumed that a custodial parent will spend a notional child support amount on the child in addition to the child support they receive along with the child tax benefit etc.

          Spousal support is often granted to allow the custodial parent to support their child in a notional way.

          lv

          Comment


          • #6
            She has asked for spousal support, however i have not been paying it since she has not got a court order for it and I have no idea how much it would be. I presently give her the child support guidlelines as per my gross income.
            I have made her offers to settle put she has refused them. Her lawyer managed to get a court order for discoveries. It's been delayed becasue of my health. My Docter has adviced that I don't go through any stress for now.
            I'm sure within the next couple of month's she will be putting the heat on and most likely will get a motion for Spousal Support.
            I hope the judge sees that she has made no attempt to get a job in 1 and a half years and grants spousal support accordingly.

            Comment


            • #7
              OB1,

              By delaying the spousal support issue for 1.5 years, it weakens their stance and their apparent need. Is the person on any type of social assistance? If so, wait till the spousal support is ordered by the court. You could always do a consent order at that time.

              If you give money without an order in place, it is seen as a gift rather than spousal support. You will also lose any tax deductions that you may be entitled to for this gift of money.

              lv

              Comment


              • #8
                support

                I am by no means a lawyer however without someone putting a valiant effort forward to become self sufficient a judge will see it they way you are.....no one gets or deserves a free ride in this lifetime........if you are diligent and forth coming with your assests and liabilities (without trying to "pad" them either) and have a steady environment and income for your children and she is just be lazy it will be obivous........what ever you do careful of your conduct towards her and your children......you are being scrutinized for EVERYTHING you do but you dont know it........my ex knows how to push my buttons however I have learned that if you are pleasant and smile (like someone from here told me) they will wonder why and what you are up to.......think of the kids solely.........if she is doing things out of spite and you know it.....document it..........document everything...never pay your child support in cash....use money orders of cheques only.........she may come back and deny you paying it..........PROTECT yourself & children at all costs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks,

                  L.V My ex's is living in subsidized housing, However, I believe she's not getting any type of social assisstance other than what I give her in child support and what she gets in child credits.
                  She has asked for spousal support, but I have not been court ordered to pay it. Do you think I will be ordered to pay it? If so for how long? I was married 9 years, and my wife wasn't working most of it. She still up to day doesn't work, and she has no intention of working.
                  Also what do you mean by consent order?
                  Thanks

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    OB1,

                    The rent amount that your spouse pays for the geared to income housing will go up significantly if their income increases ie: spousal support or employment income. In essence they won't be any farther ahead.

                    This is another reason to wait until the spousal support is court ordered, as any amount given to her without an order in place is considered a gift.

                    I suspect they are stalling the issue themselves, question is why?

                    Have you received a sworn financial statement from the other party yet?

                    During the motion, if you feel that they will be successful at the motion, you can consent to an order. This way you would avoid them being awarded costs of their motion.

                    lv

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      L.V
                      They have not made a motion yet, If they do for Spousal Support, I will have a great deal of hardship paying it since my bills almost eat up all the money I make.
                      I would only go further and further into dept to the point where I will be left to struggle to make ends meet.
                      If she gets awarded cost for her motion, I would have to pay it back when I have the money which may be never. What happens then.
                      It almost makes me want to move to Panama. Who knows it's better then paying my ex the rest of my life. That's the only option left. I hope my kids realize what their mom did to me one day.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        OB1,

                        Follow through and co-operate with their discoveries. By the way, I suspect you're entitled to make your own discoveries on the other party.

                        Before any spousal support would be ordered, first consideration is given to the support of your child.

                        I once heard that if ones income is around 30K per year and child support is being paid, that no spousal support would be ordered. If your income is significantly above 30K, I suspect it would be ordered as you mentioned you were together for 9 years and your estranged spouse stayed at home.

                        The reason for your debt, if it was mutual debt before separation and you have absorbed all this community may come into the equation. If the debt was independently yours before separation it is irrelevant.

                        I still suspect that your spouse is on social assistance. Reason being is I find it difficult to accept that a person could live and raise children on received child support and child tax benefit. You should request full sworn financial disclosure from the other party to determine their need.

                        lv

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          L.V
                          We were supplied with Financial Disclosure, and she only showed my child support I pay her and child tax credit.
                          Would I be ordered to pay Retro Spousal Support from the date she left?
                          My bills are very high because I,m still in the Matromonial home and still pay all bills to live here. My expenses have gone way up.
                          The house was co-owned with my late father, my fathers half now belongs to my mothers . I'm not sure whether they can order me to sell my share. I also still owe my dads estate a mortgage for over 100,000.00 which i have made no payments on.
                          What happens if one doesn't have the money to pay what the court orders.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            OB1,

                            Was the financial disclosure sworn and on the proper court form and filed into the continuing record? It would be wise to verify this. This is very important. If it is sworn, you sort of have to take it as truthful and face value. If you have some questions in regards to some of the entries, you could question them and ask them to provide receipts for same. If unsworn, every entry is questionable. The other thing to confirm is that it is recent, ie: (less than 30 days old).

                            You could be ordered for retro support from the date of their court application, However, a significant amount of time has gone by and she has survived. It sort of suggests that they may not be in as much need.

                            Does her financial statement makes sense ie: rent, utilities, groceries, vehicle expenses, clothing children expenses etc. Do the numbers add up? Is their financial statement showing a deficit or a surplus? If showing a deficit; how are they managing?

                            You should run your income through the spousal support advisory guidelines
                            using the with child support formula to determine a possible amount that you may have to pay and for the duration of a 9 year relationship.

                            The other thing to look at is periodic spousal support is tax deductible where as a lump sum spousal support is not. This taxation rule applies when the periodic spousal support is court ordered or the result of a separation agreement.

                            lv

                            Comment

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