matrimonial home

[sixfeetunder]

My x and separated 2 1/2 yrs ago and shes in the Matrimonial home we where married for 13 yrs . The house was under her name as she worked for CIBC and got amazing deal . I paid the mortgage for 13yrs and when we separated we agree to sell the house . Issue is shes in no rush and if she even has it on the market she conventionally doesn't show the house . I find out that 1yr and half after we separated she remortgage and took a 15,000 loan too . Since the house is still under her name i don't have any say i guess . What are my options !!! There are kids involved too and we have share custody . I do have a written letter stating from her when house sells all funds will be split 50/50 which was written by her before i agree to sign separation agreement What are my options ???

Thank You

[Links17]

Tell her to buy you out, get occupational rent or go to court. IF you let people take advantage of you, they will. Take the saddle off and get you fair share.

[dad2bandm]

What does your lawyer say about this?
I would (if you aren't already) highly suggest you seek some independant legal advice, on this matter.

Given that you were both married for so long, share kids, and have equalization issues to take care of, you should definitely have a lawyer involved.

What of spousal support? Has it come up? Again, seek ILA.

[sixfeetunder]

We don't do spousal support as i make more but we agree that I'll pay for the boys sports , hockey , baseball and lacrosse and all required equipment ! Really its a lot more then i thought . I'm tired of renting moving because landlord decided to sell ect . i just want closure to be honest , want to buy a house .
I never heard of occupational rent ! is that more intimidation factor ?

[Rioe]

You are a part owner of the house (never mind that you aren't on the title because it's the matrimonial home so there are funny rules) and you are entitled to half the value as of the separation date. I hope you had an appraisal done around then?

She tricked you with that letter, saying that she'll pay you your half when it sells, because then if she never sells, she doesn't have to pay you. So of course she's not in a rush. If she wants to continue to live in it, she must buy you out of your share, which was determined as of separation date. It doesn't matter what she's done with the property value and mortgage since then. Your share is already set and unaffected.

Occupational rent works like this. You own half of a house that someone else lives in. You are in effect her landlord and you should receive rent based on fair market value for the house, divided in half. However, if you have no expenses related to the house that a real landlord would have, such as if she pays the full mortgage and all utilities, then your chance of getting it isn't very good.

But yeah, either demand that the house sell soon or that she pay you your share in cash some other way. If she won't cooperate, you need a lawyer and court.

[sixfeetunder]

Thank you so much ! I took the advice talking to a lawyer and wants me first to write a letter , stating my terms and have 14 days to respond after 14 days with no response , then then it it becomes legal !! Making sure i give her his business card as to show i do have legal counsel . This lawyer says our separation agreement is garbage and he wants to see her income , I'm a terrible in writing letter ! should i mention things like "entitled to half the value as of the separation date." meaning the day i left the matrimonial home ?
Should i mention anything about 'Occupational rent' as a tacit ! I told my lawyer about how she took a mortgage of 15,000 . without my approval which she didn't need but he said she need to advice you of this ! any suggestion how to make it like i mean business ! but in a nice way !

PS My lawyer said its a great forum

[sixfeetunder]

Ok so here is part two I had letter written to my X and she flipped out and refuse to acknowledge the matrimonial home , the day we signed our separation i made her write a letter about the house before i signed separation agreement stating it will be sold and she acknowledges its a matrimonial home .

I don't understand her logic behind her ideas , shes going to cost me money and I was told , I can try to see if my court cost will be at her expense as its a no win situation for her ! Can I ?

[sixfeetunder]

Here"s the letter

I am writing to you in the hopes that we can settle the issue of the house division out of court. I will advise that I have been to see a lawyer in this regard to be sure of my rights, but truly hope that we can work things out without legal representation.

I have for over a year now allowed you to continue to live in the matrimonial home while I have had to rent accommodations. I am asking that we now finalize the separation and divide the value of the said matrimonial home. We can do this in one of two ways, list and sell the property and divide the net proceeds or you can remortgage the property and buy out my half of the value thereof. We can have the house appraised, subtract one half of the existing mortgage and have you pay me that fixed amount.

I realize you enjoy living there and I have no intentions of ever asking you to leave if you would like to stay. That being said, I am sure we would both like to move forward and this is the last part of the joint asset division to be finalized.

I ask that you kindly take a few days to decide how you would like to proceed, however, if I do not hear back from you by June 21^st, 2013, I will have no other choice but to seek legal assistance herein.

[OrleansLawyer]

Not a bad letter, although I would suggest the following:
- Remove the last "herein".
- Give her until July 19, not June 21.

[Mess]

I would remove "said" from "said matrimonial home" and "thereof" from "my half of the value thereof."

"Thereof" is basically an overly fancy way of saying "of it." So, "half of the value of it" would be the simpler phrase, or in conversational English we would just write "half of the value."

"Said" used in this way is an abreviated version of "aforesaid." It is really only used in legal writing and has little place in ordinary communication. Where you would need to use it is if there were some possible confusion over whether you were refering to a previously mentioned matrimonial home, or any matrimonial home in general. You can get around this much more easily by using the proper article.

Sorry, I teach this stuff.

I would reccommend you stay away from legal jargon because it makes it seem like you are trying to sound official and intimidating. You open with a personal tone and this is great; stick with it.

I strongly suggest you stay away from "I" statements. "I have allowed you" sounds particulary aggressive, and she definately won't take it well. Suppose instead you wrote, "We have gotten along fine with you living in the home and there is no reason to change that. We should now finalize the situation and divide the value of the home." See what I am doing there? Instead of you telling her what to do, you are using "we" to make the decision inclusive and co-operative.

"I realize you enjoy living there...." I would delete this entire paragraph. You are just repeating yourself, but coming across like you are granting her permission.

"I ask that you kindly.." I would remove "kindly." The word is usually used ironicly, as in, "Madam, would you kindly remove your hat? I cannot see the movie." Removing the hat is not an act of kindness, it is a social obligation. You are not literally asking your ex to be kind to you, you are requiring her to adhere to the tenets of family law.