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  • Costs awarded

    Hi all,

    Does anyone know if judges ever award costs during a Settlement Conference? I am being taken to court next week even though I agreed to mediate, had an intake meeting with the mediator (so did he) and agreed to further mediation. He is insisting on keeping his court date even though the mediator even asked his lawyer to vacate it so we could mediate “in good faith”. I have had to pay my lawyer to draft briefs and will have to pay for him to be at the conference where we will surely be ordered to mediate....because we’ve both agreed to it.
    Are costs ever awarded when it isn’t yet a trial?


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  • #2
    I have never heard of costs being awarded at an sc.

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    • #3
      If you have both SIGNED a mediation agreement you can not go to court and must vacate the date. If your ex insists on going when he has signed a mediation agreement the judge is going to rip a strip off of him and hand his ass back to him.
      If on the other hand you have both agreed but neither one or only one of you have signed then it doesn’t count and you can not be ordered into mediation. You BOTH have to sign the agreement. Once you have both signed then court is automatically suspended and if you try to go to court you will not be allowed to proceed until mediation is finished.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
        If you have both SIGNED a mediation agreement you can not go to court and must vacate the date.
        Are you sure about this?

        If that was true, it would be silly to mediate. Generally speaking you should always be pushing for a trial. Stalling before a trial is expensive.

        I'm reminded of a quote:

        Originally posted by Yitzhak Rabin
        We'll fight terror like there's no peace, and make peace like there's no terror.
        I think it applies to divorcing as well.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Janus View Post
          Are you sure about this?

          If that was true, it would be silly to mediate. Generally speaking you should always be pushing for a trial. Stalling before a trial is expensive.

          I think it applies to divorcing as well.
          My thinking exactly. If I were already in the process of court and had a date, I would agree to mediation, but wouldn't give up my court date. That would be an invitation to stall and delay.

          With the court date looming it should encourage the parties to mediate in good faith as there are no guarantees anyone will satisfied with what the court orders. I don't think keeping the court date is not agreeing to negotiate in good faith. It is prudent planning to eliminate potential delays, while getting both parties to the table to actually talk it out knowing there is a drop dead date.

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          • #6
            I am absolutely sure about this. My STBX and I signed a med/arb agreement prior to a TMC we had a date for. My lawyer said it was a waste of time and money to go as the judge would not deal with our issues anymore as we had signed we were going to go to med/arb.

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            • #7
              So this is where I am at: The mediation agreement says you cannot have a court date if you sign and agree to the mediation process.
              My ex will not sign the mediation agreement yet as he wants to keep the court date - but we have both recently been through an intake meeting, were offered the paperwork and were told we had to pay a mediation retainer.
              There is no time to schedule the two mediation sessions between the intake meetings and the court date. He is keeping the court date.
              The mediator told me at the intake meeting not to be scared of going to court on the date scheduled because my ex is going to look very adversarial since he kept court and didn’t vacate for mediation.
              Also, the irony is, if he had dropped court, agreed to mediate and signed the paperwork, they could’ve booked in the mediation dates relatively soon. The judge is likely going to tell us we should mediate, which I will agree to, and now we will be booking even further into the future.
              I do get what you’re saying Hammerdad and Janus: he would be gambling to drop the court date and risk me saying I won’t mediate after all. However, now he’s wasting the judge’s time with court. Not to mention everyone’s time and money. This is why I am asking about costs.


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              • #8
                What did he file about? The extra sport he wanted or is there more?

                Mediation aside, I wonder if you need a judge this time because he was so difficult after you mediated the first time and caved to a lot of his demands...

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                • #9
                  He is trying to increase his parenting time again. I think he’s realized he isn’t at 40% and wants to only pay offset. He hasn’t asked for 50/50 - because, you know, his work schedule still gets in the way.
                  This is the second time litigating in two years. I did make major concessions last time (yes, I caved really) which I did to avoid a trial, including agreeing to drastically cut his child support.
                  There is now a status quo of a decade with very minimal change to the parenting schedule. Plus he has rejected my numerous offers to improve/increase holiday schedules. The kids are older now - one is 13, so their voices may come into play....
                  I don’t know if the judge will care about the proximity of this litigation to the last. Hopefully my ex will look like a litigious jerk.



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                  • #10
                    He runs the risk of having his cs increased by order too!

                    Comment

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