What are the children's rights concerning visitation?

[d002]

My children have been begging to see me on weekends, do they have a right to speak to someone to explain that they want to see me? I do not want them in the middle but they text daily and cry that they want to at least visit me on weekends, I had full custody and now Dad has guardianship and is severely limiting my access to them out of retribution. They keep asking why they can't come see me on weekends.....is there someone my children can speak to to explain how they feel? They are 10 and 12, but I don't want it to appear like it is mom against dad.......if you want further info you can see my last post on 'need a lawyer, need help' for the whole situation.

Thank you!

[standing on the sidelines]

My children have been begging to see me on weekends, do they have a right to speak to someone to explain that they want to see me? I do not want them in the middle but they text daily and cry that they want to at least visit me on weekends, I had full custody and now Dad has guardianship and is severely limiting my access to them out of retribution. They keep asking why they can't come see me on weekends.....is there someone my children can speak to to explain how they feel? They are 10 and 12, but I don't want it to appear like it is mom against dad.......if you want further info you can see my last post on 'need a lawyer, need help' for the whole situation.

Thank you!

I told you in your other thread the kids have to talk to a teacher or even their family doctor. They need to speak up. It isnt them choosing, its them wanting the right to see both parents.

[d002]

Thank you, I just read your response when I posted this one and the more I think about it the more you are right. It is hurting them not being able to see me more, I am going to talk to them about it I just have to make sure that their dad doesn't interfere as he reads their texts. Maybe I can arrange to have someone meet me next Saturday at the supervision home to talk to them about being able to see me. Neutral ground and not as intimidating then they may feel more comfortable like they are not going against their dad's directions. Thank you so much, you are right, I need to do this. thank you again.

[standing on the sidelines]

Thank you, I just read your response when I posted this one and the more I think about it the more you are right. It is hurting them not being able to see me more, I am going to talk to them about it I just have to make sure that their dad doesn't interfere as he reads their texts. Maybe I can arrange to have someone meet me next Saturday at the supervision home to talk to them about being able to see me. Neutral ground and not as intimidating then they may feel more comfortable like they are not going against their dad's directions. Thank you so much, you are right, I need to do this. thank you again.

There you go, steps in the right direction. You are taking steps to get the end result that the kids want. You should be proud of yourself.

[d002]

Thank you again!

Words are not enough, you have given me a new direction and the extra fight to not let him keep my children away from me. Thank you so much!!

[standing on the sidelines]

Words are not enough, you have given me a new direction and the extra fight to not let him keep my children away from me. Thank you so much!!

that is what this board is for to help people thru this family law circle. We all need support or the occasional kick in the ass. For the most part, posters are here to help and want to set someone on the right trail. Yes there are some posters with their own agenda but that is where the ignore button is soooo helpful lol.

Just focus that the kids have TWO parents. Dont let him try and mininize you as a parent or let him shut you out of their lives. You go girl!!!!

[Mess]

I'm putting together a few things from your other threads...

You have lost your job. You say you have a bankruptcy lawyer, I presume you have no assets due to bankruptcy. You are on medical disability.

Yet you say you do not qualify for legal aid? You need to go back and go over your situation again with them.

There are family law clinics at every courthouse in Ontario, go and ask for FLIC. Get there early, often there is a long line. You can get legal advice there.

You have been hospitalized for psychiatric issues. Whether your ex is vindictive or not, you need a clean bill of health for unsupervised access.

Your ex cannot otherwise prevent you from seeing the children. Your ONLY recourse is the courts. You have to start navigating the system, no one is going to do it for you.

You have no home, no job, no assets, are still suffering emotional issues, and may still need to be on medication. You need to be able to SHOW that you can care for your children in order to get any change in the situation.

I am not supporting your ex's attitude toward you, but you must remember that when he took the children you were hospitalized for psychiatric issues, losing (or lost) your job, and losing (or lost) your housing. Whatever his motives, he can show the court that he trying to act in the children's best interests.

You state that you cannot return to your old job because your child goes to school there; you also state that the father changed the children's schools. You are being unclear in your explanations. I am not saying you are wrong, I am saying that if you want to navigate the legal system you MUST be able to explain your story in a logical, chronological fashion that explains things with facts, not emotion.

You have a right to see your children and spend time with them. No one here will dispute that. If you want some level of residential custody you must get your life in order and be able to show that you are in a postition to care for them. That is not an attack on you, it is an explantion for how things work.

Best of luck.

[d002]

Thank you, I am not on disability as losing my job, I am on 'sick leave' with pay I guess you would call it until I can get a transfer. I have an apartment and am seeking help from every way possible, but there are waiting lists, up to a year. I have agreed fully to supervised visits but he keeps canceling or saying it doesn't work out, he said he would limit my access to get back at me. People are allowed to have emotional issues, we are human, and I was never a risk to my children, only myself after what he put me through. I am doing everything possible to get better, (no one is making him go to counseling for being an abuser though). I am selling everything I own to afford a lawyer since my sick leave pay is just above the legal aid threshold. Not everyone is perfect, there are a lot of us out there who need help more so than me and never seek it. At least I have the strength to admit my problems and seek help for them. Above all, I would NEVER, EVER use my children's feelings as pawns in a cruel vindictive game. As stated by my social workers, years of controlling to the point that he uses my most vulnerable area, my children is something he needs to answer for. I have agreed to everything, gave him back his child support, just want visitation, really is that too much to ask? Or does he get to win again? It is a game to him. He has admitted he is punishing me. Thank you for your input, I understand where you are coming from and am also aware of all the stigma out there about mental health, that does NOT make me a bad mother. Rather a vulnerable person he is taking advantage of. Over and over. Thank you.

[Rioe]

I have agreed fully to supervised visits but he keeps canceling or saying it doesn't work out, he said he would limit my access to get back at me.

Getting this in writing from him will make or break your case in court. I hope you only communicate with him via email.

[Mess]

I understand where you are coming from and am also aware of all the stigma out there about mental health, that does NOT make me a bad mother. .

I would never, for example, criticize someone for having a broken leg. However we would all expect that person to seek medical treatment for it and ensure that they were able to care for their children despite their injury, or else make other arrangements.

I am not going to claim there is no bias in the legal system or in society. However even if there were 0 bias, we would still all have to be able to show that we make healthy decisions and are able to care for our dependents.

The courts wil not usually take notice of someone who complains about their ex's motives and that they are out to get revenge. The courts will first care about you being able to show in a clear way the positive reasons why you should have access to your children (unsupervised, overnights) and show that you are able to demonstrate stability and healthy choices. The courts are never interested in a blame game.

If your ex makes statements about your competence, you have to address them factually. If the complaints have no substance to them, then his motives speak for themselves.

If you were telling me that you were about to start a walking trip across the continent, I would advise you to be well prepared. Going to court is a marathon, even if you have a good legal team behind you. You have to be in a strong position with your emotions, your housing, your income, and all other aspects of your life first if you are going to get through this.