Just my 2 cents, but as a Mom with 2 special needs children, it could be an ADD thing. Most children with ADD/ADHD thrive on a strict routine and do not transitioning well between the 2 homes and household rules, especially in the beginning of a parents separation. I have learnt the hard way (and still not there yet). In my experience they seem to do better in the more structured home. For our children the 2 parenting style and different rules at each home made life almost unbearable for all. Your son may be acting out because of this, I know my s(8) did.
It somewhat sounds to me your ex is getting frustrated with the child behaviour and lashing out (been there, did that too). I am no medical expert, but from personal experience, taking a child off and on medication if a BAD idea. This must be done under the strict supervision of a doctor. I do know many children that only need the medication during school, but with your son acting out like this, its not the time for one parent to decide when and if they take it.
Part of our jobs as parents of special needs children, is to emphasize life skills as much as education. Its a life skill for your son to adapt to his situation of having 2 homes, because that's his reality and it will give him peace and confidence to do it. I do agree with the other posters, you need to cut the phone calls to your child, as he most likely is doing this so you will rescue him and get his own way. You and your ex need to work together somehow to mirror the 2 households as far as routine, discipline and structure. So basically if you and you ex agree that missing a hockey game for picking your nose is appropriate then it must happen in both homes. ADD kids also don't do well in loud environments and yelling only causes more anxiety for a child, so getting on the same page with noise levels in both homes should help.
Again easier said than done (in my situation we are working with an Agency). I think your going to have to reach out and get some help with this. I could help you if your in the Toronto area with programs, but seems like your from Ottawa?
The feeling I get from your situation is your ex is having a hard time dealing with the ADD behaviour and not your son, so to speak. This maybe why your daughter has no problems with the transitions and adjusting between the 2 homes.
Hang in there, it does get better with time and a lot of patience.
It somewhat sounds to me your ex is getting frustrated with the child behaviour and lashing out (been there, did that too). I am no medical expert, but from personal experience, taking a child off and on medication if a BAD idea. This must be done under the strict supervision of a doctor. I do know many children that only need the medication during school, but with your son acting out like this, its not the time for one parent to decide when and if they take it.
Part of our jobs as parents of special needs children, is to emphasize life skills as much as education. Its a life skill for your son to adapt to his situation of having 2 homes, because that's his reality and it will give him peace and confidence to do it. I do agree with the other posters, you need to cut the phone calls to your child, as he most likely is doing this so you will rescue him and get his own way. You and your ex need to work together somehow to mirror the 2 households as far as routine, discipline and structure. So basically if you and you ex agree that missing a hockey game for picking your nose is appropriate then it must happen in both homes. ADD kids also don't do well in loud environments and yelling only causes more anxiety for a child, so getting on the same page with noise levels in both homes should help.
Again easier said than done (in my situation we are working with an Agency). I think your going to have to reach out and get some help with this. I could help you if your in the Toronto area with programs, but seems like your from Ottawa?
The feeling I get from your situation is your ex is having a hard time dealing with the ADD behaviour and not your son, so to speak. This maybe why your daughter has no problems with the transitions and adjusting between the 2 homes.
Hang in there, it does get better with time and a lot of patience.
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