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  • #31
    Originally posted by phaydra View Post
    This claim he gave me doesn't make sense. he says hes only asking for half the house, but this is what he put in the family claim notice. can someone tell me what this means in english? it looks like hes asking for the same thing three times, and that he wants the whole house? under orders he put:

    1)declaration that the respondent hold her interest in the property in trust for the claimant.
    2) in the alternative, for a determination of the interest of the claimant in the property held by the respondent and a declaration that the respondent hold the interest of the claimant in trust for the claimant.
    3) In the alternative, for a declaration of the interest of the claimant in the property held by the respondent and a declaration that the respondent holds the interest of the claimant in trust for the claimant.

    what does holding in trust mean? is he saying he wants the whole thing now? and does this mean he wants to stay on the title and mortgage? He said he wanted to sell and now i get this...does this mean he doesn't want to sell now?
    When a house is sold before all the equalization is agreed to, it is standard practise to put the proceeds of the house into a trust. Typically they will be released once the equalization is agreed to and signed. I went through this myself.

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    • #32
      im sorry i've been such a bag everyone. i look over my past posts and feel such a deep sense of shame. W're all in the same boat here, and yet im standing on my high horse thinking i'm entitled to the world. I had a long talk with a good friend of mine lastnight who helped me realize that even though it sucks, this isn't the end of the world, and he IS only asking for half. this could have been so much more complicating. I just want this to be over. I want to forget all this ever happened. I want to not want to cry everytime I hear his name, or see him in public. I have to respond to him, but my emotional three ring circus cost me my lawyer too. He said it was probably better for me to work with someone else. I was shocked, but it took that to really tear down the walls of my selfishness. I'm remembering all the times my ex has been there for me. I remember how he supported me in my darkest days, i remember all his i love yous, and it's going to be okay baby, and all the things he would do for me, that i have to do for myself now. I don't feel really all that angry anymore...just sad, defeated, and really tired of it all. the worst thing about it all? I did this to myself. Now i have to deal with the s*it storm i created, and the aftermath...and now, without my lawyer. It's all on me. I'm sorry to all I may have offended.

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      • #33
        No one is perfect, particularly when going through a break-up. Don't be hard on yourself. Learn from your mistakes and put one foot in front of the other and carry on.

        Not having a lawyer right now might not be a bad thing. Take time to reflect on what it is that you really want that is fair then focus on that.

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        • #34
          you were going thru a rough time and stuff was still really fresh in your mind and emotions. You depended on your ex and now you have to learn how to depend on yourself. Its scary but you can do it. Contact social services and see what they can offer you in regards to home care etc.

          You will have good days and you will have bad days. Just remember during the bad days that there will be good days in the future.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by phaydra View Post
            im sorry i've been such a bag everyone. i look over my past posts and feel such a deep sense of shame. W're all in the same boat here, and yet im standing on my high horse thinking i'm entitled to the world. I had a long talk with a good friend of mine lastnight who helped me realize that even though it sucks, this isn't the end of the world, and he IS only asking for half. this could have been so much more complicating. I just want this to be over. I want to forget all this ever happened. I want to not want to cry everytime I hear his name, or see him in public. I have to respond to him, but my emotional three ring circus cost me my lawyer too. He said it was probably better for me to work with someone else. I was shocked, but it took that to really tear down the walls of my selfishness. I'm remembering all the times my ex has been there for me. I remember how he supported me in my darkest days, i remember all his i love yous, and it's going to be okay baby, and all the things he would do for me, that i have to do for myself now. I don't feel really all that angry anymore...just sad, defeated, and really tired of it all. the worst thing about it all? I did this to myself. Now i have to deal with the s*it storm i created, and the aftermath...and now, without my lawyer. It's all on me. I'm sorry to all I may have offended.
            You have to learn, as tough as it is, to take the emotion out of the financial discussions.

            I don't think in your case you necessarily owe him half. Make him an offer that gives him back the money he put in, pays him for the work he did, and gives him a share of the equity since the renovation. Be on the generous side, but not necessarily as much as your worst case.(so you can sweeten the deal if he rejects it).

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            • #36
              it sounds like he's saying you never truely owned the house. He wants you to state that you were only holding your interest in trust for him. i'd be very careful. Can you prove that the house was only given to you? was there promisary notes signed? i'd be very careful.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by init'sowntime View Post
                it sounds like he's saying you never truely owned the house. He wants you to state that you were only holding your interest in trust for him. i'd be very careful. Can you prove that the house was only given to you? was there promisary notes signed? i'd be very careful.

                No, there was no promissory note signed. I do however have my bank statement showing the money went into my account and the check was to me only. My brother said that even though i have that, my ex is still on the title and the mortgage, and it doesn't matter. I'm working on finding another lawyer to help me make some sort of settlement offer. I was going to type one up myself, but i have no idea what to include in it, or how it should look. can anyone advise me on how to do this? i haven't had much luck looking on the net. My bro and family are coming for a visit next week. my sister in law is excellent with words, she says she will help me draw one up, and my brother says he will pay for any fees i have to do this, so for now things are moving along. My Dad has also been in contact (we don't talk much) and he offered to help as well. I just have to remember that when I let go, I give my family the ability to come in closer, and to offer support. I am so grateful for my family at this time.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by phaydra View Post
                  I'm working on finding another lawyer to help me make some sort of settlement offer. I was going to type one up myself, but i have no idea what to include in it, or how it should look. can anyone advise me on how to do this? i haven't had much luck looking on the net.
                  There is no standard template or anything for an offers to settle. It just goes by Family Law Rule 18.

                  First just make a list of all the issues you have left to deal with. Then being reasonable, thinking businesslike with a little give and take, start writing out a sentence for each issue on what you are prepared to offer/accept to deal with that issue. As long as you are honest and fair, you should not have anything to worry about.

                  In your situation you may have to play around with a few options to see what works best.
                  - you can offer equal 50/50 of house in lieu of spousal support.
                  - you can offer him the equity increase in the house plus extra for his work done to the house, plus giving him minimal spousal support for a couple years...

                  If you can show that your inheritance went directly to the mortgage company to pay that off, $100k cheque going to you and $100k cheque going to the mortgage, then you may get it back. Otherwise, it will most likely be that he is fully entitled to 50% of house And spousal support for giving up his career to support you.

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                  • #39
                    I can show that the money went straight to the house, and that i paid the mortgage every month, he never did. but because he put money and work into the house he's claiming half. should i just keep demanding the house be transferred to my name only, because i was the only one paying the mortgage for the house?

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                    • #40
                      Joint Family Ventures

                      The law in this particular area has recently undergone some changes - I would read up on the term "Joint Family Venture." The Supreme Court of Canada recently did an overhaul and the new process should shed some light on your situation.

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                      • #41
                        i just read that, thank you. but it doesn't clearly address our situation because this is referring to common law spouses where only one spouse is on title. My ex is not only on on title, but he's on the mortgage too.

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by phaydra View Post
                          I can show that the money went straight to the house, and that i paid the mortgage every month, he never did. but because he put money and work into the house he's claiming half. should i just keep demanding the hocse be transferred to my name only, because i was the only one paying the mortgage for the house?
                          With the proof you may be able to claim your inheritance money back and same for him with his inheritance money.

                          You paying mortgage is just part of the joys of living together, as would his handyman work.

                          Rest of the equity should be split 50/50.

                          That would deal with the house, then you have to figure something out for spousal. Go with the lower amount for least time, figure out a lump sum offer and give him the extra equity.

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