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  • Need help to protect my kids...

    Hi everyone,

    If you want more detail about my situation you can read my other post in the introduction forum but right now I need to be concise...

    I am military, used to leaved in Victoria, BC and now posted in Ottawa. My move is schedule for Feb 8, 2011 and now my ex as decided not to follow me and she decided to keep the kids with her.

    She as no income, no work (she ran a daycare from home but will have to shut down due to move) no support system (family all in Quebec) and can't tell me where she is planning on living. The move is nothing new, we have known for quite a while.

    What can I do? I am running out of time, I can't stop the move. What happens if I take the kids with me. What happens if I don't? Can I get an emergency custody hearring (if there is such a thing)?

    Please help.

    A worried father!

  • #2
    Move is a situation, where one parent and the kids must lose and there is not fair solution. You can't cut the kids in half.
    If she doesn't have anything and anybody in Victoria, can't you offer her to move with you and separate there?
    Yes, you can file for an emergency motion.

    Comment


    • #3
      The move was all planned, the money is in the bank account, my new place is secured, 1 bedroom per kids, school within 10 min. Her mom is ready to shelter her until she finds a place.

      I told her I would take care of the kids until she finds a job and a place to live. Told her I would help her with money. And when all of the is taking care of, the kids can go back with her and we will establish CS and SS.

      She does not want anything to do with that. She can't tell me where she will live, can't tell me how she will provide for them. She seams to think that a judge will give her 100% custody and that CS and SS will cover 100% of her expenses. Correct me if I am wrong but they can't ask me more money than I make.

      On the other side I don't need anything from her. I can provide for them undefinetly if I have too...actually I would prefer that but she is normally a good mother but feel off the wagon lately.

      Comment


      • #4
        Check out the Federal Child Support Guidelines for your gross income in Ontario...go to the column with "2 children". That will be the base amount of CS paid. You will also be required to pay childcare and extra-curricular expenses based on your income and hers. This amount will be after any tax rebates or breaks.

        Tough part for you....currently, you both have custody, until one person files. While I do not condone taking the kids, one thing to keep in mind is that CUSTODY is dealt with in the province where the child lives, which means you will need a lawyer in BC...unless the kids are in Ontario at the time of an application.

        Comment


        • #5
          if she doesn't have a job, she might qualify for a free lawyer. If the kids are in BC, you will need to pay for another lawyer. Those two will bleed you dry.

          Get the kids and move them with you as long as you can. Except if she is a much better parent than you are.

          No, she can not get more money than you make. But you might need to pay more than you have left after paying taxes, basic accommodation, gas what takes you to work, a used car and its insurance.

          Comment


          • #6
            What I would do, knowing the law, is move children here (even if temporarily, or for a visit) prior to any court submissions, and then file emergency interim order for custody while they are here.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
              What I would do, knowing the law, is move children here (even if temporarily, or for a visit) prior to any court submissions, and then file emergency interim order for custody while they are here.
              Would'nt that be seen as steeling the kids? Plus she wont let me do that and it's going to become ugly. I don't want the kids to see that...as much as I can.

              Comment


              • #8
                As long as there is no court order, any of you can move the kids, it is not stealing.

                Comment


                • #9
                  File a motion in BC then. But best get a move on. Should be able to swing it as an emergency motion, as your ex is now reneging on the move that was agreed to. Claim it's in an effort to secure de facto sole custody because she knows you are required by your job to move and cannot stop it.

                  Lawyer...thataway...post haste dude.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    As long as there is no court order, any of you can move the kids, it is not stealing.
                    THAT is horrible advice. If he does that, she can have them ordered back within 24 hours. He can't arbitrarily take them without either her agreement or a court order.

                    My ex tried that crap...she failed. Guess who has custody of the children?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Yep, you are right. I just forgot the "permission" part, because my daughter was stolen.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                        THAT is horrible advice. If he does that, she can have them ordered back within 24 hours. He can't arbitrarily take them without either her agreement or a court order.

                        My ex tried that crap...she failed. Guess who has custody of the children?
                        That's what I was thinking too. I just told her that she is not allowed to move the kids out of the house until a judge tells us who as the custody. So it's the same for me...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          My ex wife tried to move our 4 kids over 100km away. It took them out of the area, out of the city and out of the courts jurisdiction where the interim order was being done.

                          Took me all of a week to get them ordered back. (Couldn't do an emergency hearing since they technically weren't in any danger)

                          Emergency Ex Parte orders are doable in 4-24 hours, at a cost of roughly 2500. The children have to be in or believed to be in a documented danger in order to do so.

                          In this case he wouldn't qualify, but there should be a way to fast track the hearing given the timetable he's on. She agreed to move, he received orders to do so and then she reneged.

                          He wants to play that angle up as much as he can. Ask for an interim order granting permission to move the children to Ontario, and for a change of venue to the Ontario courts.

                          The "status quo" check normally used doesn't apply here...the move was already agreed to and scheduled to occur, so the status quo is to move.

                          That and the ex is now having to move anyway, because of the military housing rules.

                          Depending on how things play out, he can make the accusation that he believes she did so in order to secure de facto sole custody, given her knowledge of the military rules regarding his move orders. Once done, they can't be undone, and she's using that to her advantage.

                          He needs to make sure he documents his multiple offers to assist in moving IN WRITING and if nothing else, asks the courts to ensure the onus for travel costs lies 100% with HER due to her unwillingness to move the children as planned and to stay in BC.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Taking kids

                            Well guess what folks. I have an order that states the children are to reside with me with visitation to Dad. I never have denied or restricted access at any time EVER! My daughter just went for a visit to Dads this past weekend and my world has stopped. She knew I was out of town on training for 2 days, called, spoke to my current husband and stated, " I'm not coming back. you can't make me, its my choice" So guess what. I call the police, they won't intervene - no clause in my court order that states that apprehension is required by the OPP so they can't help. File an immediate ex parte emergency motion with the courts first thing Monday morning stating ex is in contempt of the order. Guess what, the judge rules it is not an emergency situation. Even though my ex lives in a different school community and now she is truant from school, because he cannot enrol her in school without a court order, birth certificate and immunization record. But wait, this gets better. The school board, has agreed to enroll her anyway without these documents even though I have called them and told them they cannot do so without a court order. I call this abduction. So....Now I go see a Judge tomorrow and I suspect nothing will happen there either. My ex waited until she was exactly 12 years old, cooerced her and now has her. I had no indication that she was planning on the move, no word from her. I cannot imagine how much she must have been brainwashed! She left on Friday a happy, content, well adjusted child. Want to know what makes this very, very sad. He did the exact same thing when my now 15 year old son turned 12. He has ignored every court order requiring access and communication. I have no contact with my son. Guess what folks, the courts side with the perpetrators more often than the good guys and I am bitter, heart broken and disgusted that this can be allowed to happpen. All the ex has to do now is file a emergency motion for temporary custody and establish a status quo and she stays there. By the time a judge hears the motion, she will have been able to reside there for at least 6 months thereby establishing his new status quo. I don't understand how this can happen. So my advise, take the kids and establish status quo. then file the motions for custody.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Being military myself, can you ask your CM for a delay on your posting until this is sorted?...Eventho I see you have everything secured for your new posting.

                              Comment

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