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  • #31
    Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
    using your reasoning, your child could have it already but you are willing to expose your elderly parents. It could kill your parents. You are willing to put someone who is vulnerable at risk. If there is a risk your offer to the mom should be for her to have the child until this passes in order to protect your parents. If there is no risk then parenting times should stay remain as they are.

    If he was otherwise exposed then yes he could have been sick but he wasn't, the only exposure other than home would be the other family.

    and no one can force the non-custodial parent to accept access they don't want, they can be offered (which is what i have said in my original post) and if they accept good, if they don't then too bad. a few people here have made that suggestion but I am not certain what their thought process is behind just dropping the kid on the other parent - tag you're it? ..
    Last edited by sahibjee; 03-18-2020, 05:45 PM.

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    • #32
      Iona6656 -- on paper, yes, parallel parenting. In reality, I really have no idea. He does what he wants. Yes, he is a nut job indeed!

      Sahibjee -- you're a very bitter person. Please tell me, what do you think of a parent who does not do his job, has filled their heads with far too much information, and now wants to meet with me with a police officer present? Which parent has the kids best interest at heart? I went for information. He wants to involve the police and the children when all he had to do was get them out the door? So ya, again, piss off.

      Comment


      • #33
        When a co-parent arbitrarily and unilaterally decrees that they can override a contract (separation agreement, court order or a handshake) and then also (potentially) involves the children in the conflict it is reprehensible.
        Faced with that the first time is offensive.
        The next frustrating.
        And constantly is infuriating.
        Without a very specific police enforcement provision you have nothing.
        So what do you do? You seek help.
        Your lawyer is not working. A judge is weeks or months away. And you have faced this over and over.
        So you reach out to the police who you believe might help you.
        But they have no training. They are not experts in family law, contracts, social work. They are paid to serve and protect and catch crooks.
        This is played out daily.
        It could stop if the "professionals" actually really cared about the kids, about the parents, and about the public interest.
        I am a highly educated professional.
        I was driven insane by constant breach, keeping my kids on a whim and poisoning their child minds.
        I called the police to help and learned fast that they are not equipped.
        I called CAS and ran into that massive wall of confusion.
        I am no fool, not my first rodeo.
        So unless you can show that there is malice, and you cannot because this is a forum for support, information and advice not a courtroom, then back off and help instead of acting like the ultimate authority.
        Namaste
        Peace.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by cranberry View Post
          Ex came out saying the boys were refusing to come. One of them screamed "I am not coming! I am too scared!"
          Cough all over him.

          Then let the kids know that if you are infected, their dad is infected, so they are screwed regardless. Best to just go with you as normal.

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          • #35
            https://www.natlawreview.com/article...pandemic-video

            https://www.wardandsmith.com/article...id-19-pandemic

            Lots of blogs online. All agree that hyping the kids is insanity.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by Janus View Post
              Cough all over him.

              Then let the kids know that if you are infected, their dad is infected, so they are screwed regardless. Best to just go with you as normal.

              rockscan can punch him before or after

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Abba435 View Post
                rockscan can punch him before or after


                Im in the mood for some punching.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                  Im in the mood for some punching.
                  wear gloves and PPE so no blood spatter

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    https://www.wardandsmith.com/article...id-19-pandemic

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      "Having the children rotating in and out of our homes one at a time will only increase the risk of exposure. I do not agree with this approach.
                      I would agree to a temporary one week rotation for the duration of the emergency starting tomorrow with Friday at 4 pm the dropoff.
                      If not then they should shelter in place at your home for the time being and I will find a hygienic way to see them.
                      I do not think it is appropriate to discuss with our children until we have made the decision.
                      As events unfold we can always revisit.
                      I found the attached article helpful."https://www.wardandsmith.com/article...id-19-pandemic

                      rockscan stand by
                      Last edited by Abba435; 03-19-2020, 01:03 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Seven Guidelines for Parents Who Are Divorced/Separated and Sharing Custody of Children During the COVID-19 Pandemic
                        From the leaders of groups that deal with families in crisis:

                        Susan Myres, President of American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML)
                        Dr. Matt Sullivan, President of Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC)
                        Annette Burns, AAML and Former President of AFCC
                        Yasmine Mehmet, AAML
                        Kim Bonuomo, AAML
                        Nancy Kellman, AAML
                        Dr. Leslie Drozd, AFCC
                        Dr. Robin Deutsch, AFCC
                        Jill Pea, Executive Director of AAML
                        Peter Salem, Executive Director of AFCC
                        1. BE HEALTHY.
                        Comply with all CDC and local and state guidelines and model good behavior for your children with intensive hand washing, wiping down surfaces and other objects that are frequently touched, and maintaining social distancing. This also means BE INFORMED. Stay in touch with the most reliable media sources and avoid the rumor mill on social media.

                        2. BE MINDFUL.
                        Be honest about the seriousness of the pandemic but maintain a calm attitude and convey to your children your belief that everything will return to normal in time. Avoid making careless comments in front of the children and exposing them to endless media coverage intended for adults. Don't leave the news on 24/7, for instance. But, at the same time, encourage your children to ask questions and express their concerns and answer them truthfully at a level that is age-appropriate.

                        3. BE COMPLIANT with court orders and custody agreements.
                        As much as possible, try to avoid reinventing the wheel despite the unusual circumstances. The custody agreement or court order exists to prevent endless haggling over the details of timesharing. In some jurisdictions, there are even standing orders mandating that, if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session.

                        4. BE CREATIVE.
                        At the same time, it would be foolish to expect that nothing will change when people are being advised not to fly, and vacation attractions such as amusement parks, museums, and entertainment venues are closing all over the US and the world. In addition, some parents will have to work extra hours to help deal with the crisis, and other parents may be out of work or working reduced hours for a time. Plans will inevitably have to change. Encourage closeness with the parent who is not going to see the child through shared books, movies, games, and FaceTime or Skype.

                        5. BE TRANSPARENT.
                        Provide honest information to your co-parent about any suspected or confirmed exposure to the virus, and try to agree on what steps each of you will take to protect the child from exposure. Certainly, both parents should be informed at once if the child is exhibiting any possible symptoms of the virus.

                        6. BE GENEROUS.
                        Try to provide makeup time to the parent who missed out, if at all possible. Family law judges expect reasonable accommodations when they can be made and will take concerns raised in later filings about parents who are inflexible in highly unusual circumstances seriously.

                        7. BE UNDERSTANDING.
                        There is no doubt that the pandemic will pose an economic hardship and lead to lost earnings for many, many parents, both those who are paying child support and those who are receiving child support. The parent who is paying should try to provide something, even if it can't be the full amount. The parent who is receiving payments should try to be accommodating under these challenging and temporary circumstances.

                        Adversity can become an opportunity for parents to come together and focus on what is best for the child. For many children, the strange days of the pandemic will leave vivid memories. It's important for every child to know and remember that both parents did everything they could to explain what was happening and to keep their child safe.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Abba435 View Post
                          In some jurisdictions, there are even standing orders mandating that, if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session..
                          My parenting time is terrible during the week as it was premised on the kids being in school. Pick up after school, and drop off the next morning at school. I wanted to have the parenting time from 4pm till 4pm the next day but my ex kept insisting it be only till the next morning. Seeing that the kids are in school, it was no fuss.

                          However, now that it appears the kids will be home for the next unforeseen time, I would hope that my ex would be flexible to allowing the kids to spend some days during the week with their dad. I am fearful of the atomic bomb that will go off when I request more time with the kids during the week, whereby they should have been in school to begin with. Why should she get all the extra time?

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
                            My parenting time is terrible during the week as it was premised on the kids being in school. Pick up after school, and drop off the next morning at school. I wanted to have the parenting time from 4pm till 4pm the next day but my ex kept insisting it be only till the next morning. Seeing that the kids are in school, it was no fuss.

                            However, now that it appears the kids will be home for the next unforeseen time, I would hope that my ex would be flexible to allowing the kids to spend some days during the week with their dad. I am fearful of the atomic bomb that will go off when I request more time with the kids during the week, whereby they should have been in school to begin with. Why should she get all the extra time?
                            I am anticipating an extended school closure at least until the fall.
                            Hopefully you can get agreement on this.
                            Courts are closed so unless you can convince her this is in the children's interests you will be out of luck.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Shouldn't the concern be more about how will the kids get an education during this time? Not, who gets to spend time with the kids? That's a bit juvenile. Kids are a responsibility, not a possession. One of you will need to take charge of making sure the kids keep up with schoolwork, whether it's provided by the school directly or you find another way. Who is in a better position to do that? Who is able to work more hours and thus keeping bringing in the money? If she's a teacher and you're an accountant, then she's off work and more suited to teach at home, whereas you're more likely to be able to continue working from a distance. Just as an example. Why not come up with some flexible options, such as, she has the kids during the week and you have them on the weekends? Try to find a win-win. I get that some people will always find a way to make sure it's a win-lose, but at least you can say you tried.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Pandemic = health first for kids, parents, family and public.
                                Schools closed with not 50/50 = the higher ratio parent bears the brunt
                                Schools closed also may mean (for some parents) home schooling is a must. Others may be laissez faire.
                                Age of kids is also important. Older kids can be much more self sufficient, help out more and need less supervision.
                                Seems rational to try to share the burden, agree how to mitigate health risk, be flexible and collaborate. Especially if someone gets sick and really needs to be quarantined along with the rest of the family unit.
                                Rational being the key word.
                                Family law and rational are too often oxymoronic.

                                Comment

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