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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-16-2018, 07:06 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Whats the purpose of a "To Be Spoken To" in Family Law Court? They are about as useless as Case Conferences imo.

I dont see through the search function many of the other members are subjected to these.
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  #2  
Old 10-17-2018, 08:40 PM
Lemongirl Lemongirl is offline
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I just had mine. The purpose is to set a trial date and confirm what paperwork and anything else that needs to be filed and served in advance of the trial.
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Old 10-18-2018, 06:59 PM
Lemongirl Lemongirl is offline
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For mine, I had originally filed a motion to change CS and S7. Iíve had 3 first appearances (other parties stall tactic), case conference, settlement conference, then the TBST in which they confirmed everything that has been exchanged, what is still needed from either party and set a date for trial. This trial is based on affidavits, with no one taking the stand or anything. Itís booked for 2 hours and apparently a decision will be made with no further court attendance.
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Old 10-18-2018, 08:49 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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For me its cs arrears, custody (I cant co parent anymore, after trying for 2 years, its too frustrating for me), holidays (I want them split) and section 7 (respite care) if he wont split the holidays. 50/50 custody would be a dream, but its never going to happen.

These tbst date are useless, where suppose to have one in November where a judge will help us with the Christmas Holidays, but its not worth the legal fees, I currently have respite money from an Agency so I will have help over the 2 week break. My ex will continue with his every other weekend, 1 night every other week, which has cost me $6,000 to get. On the bright side, he has stuck with it only cancelling once in the last 6 months.

I seem to have the opposite problem as you YoungDad, where I am in need of the ex taking the children more often. I am NOT one of those super-parents and often feel overwhelmed.

Also what I am experiencing is by doing the lions share of the parenting its a real career downer. I recently accepted a new position which requires continued education (evening courses). I'm already involved one evening a week talking a speech therapy class to help one of our sons. So basically I work full-time and am not home 3 nights a week, which leaves my Mom and/or a babysitter parenting the children week nights. But this new job will hopefully secure our financial future and its temporary. I also resent the fact that the children's activities must be only on my time therefore the swimming and sport activities are now attended by no parents.

Meanwhile my ex also works full-time with flexible hours, has a stay at home partner (no kids yet) and whines constantly he has to pay table cs. His ideal schedule would be 2 nights a month, because he is "stress out" by the litigation. I say he enjoys the single life too much without the responsibilities of two high needs children.

Thats my vent for today!!! I often think why arent these Dad's on here getting their fair share of parenting time, its because the courts are clogged with ex's like mine trying to get out of both parenting and paying. I'd like to know the stats on that.

Thats said, after talking to the Mom's at my youngest school (he just started Kindergarten) I am one of the lucky ones, that actually receives support in lieu of government assistance. So its kinda swaying me to give up the court battle and just leave things where they are and just go it on my own as a single Mom.
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  #5  
Old 10-18-2018, 09:59 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Cash is king

So you have to optimize things.

Lose the "kids need their dad" stuff and focus on how you can get assistance (financial and otherwise) to maximize your position. Judges have stated in past how you do indeed need assistance. Get those transcripts (they may come in hand later).

Yes you are quite entitled to feel disappointment with your ex. Surprised though? Keep the boots to the floor and accelerate when you can.

Get whatever financial assistance you can get. Keep up with the lawyer and discuss their fees. In the end it will hopefully pay off.

Good for you, despite all of the set-backs, for taking steps to advance your career.

Keep going... someday you will see the reward for your perseverance. You are an awesome woman... you know that right?
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Old 10-18-2018, 10:13 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Cash is king

So you have to optimize things.

Lose the "kids need their dad" stuff and focus on how you can get assistance (financial and otherwise) to maximize your position. Judges have stated in past how you do indeed need assistance. Get those transcripts (they may come in hand later).

Yes you are quite entitled to feel disappointment with your ex. Surprised though? Keep the boots to the floor and accelerate when you can.

Get whatever financial assistance you can get. Keep up with the lawyer and discuss their fees. In the end it will hopefully pay off.

Good for you, despite all of the set-backs, for taking steps to advance your career.

Keep going... someday you will see the reward for your perseverance. You are an awesome woman... you know that right?


I second this!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  #7  
Old 10-18-2018, 10:32 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Thanks Arabian and Mom2Two, you made my day! I do like working and heading into a promising career with fantastic benefits and a pension! Just need year of extra schooling to meet new requirements, but I can do the job on that condition. I took a crappy job a year ago to make end meets and made it a goal to apply to all and everything in my field. Lots of rejections, but eventually a fantastic opportunity came my way. I just looked at applying and interviews as practice. My end goal is to afford a Nanny to help.

I do still suffer from Mom guilt. I finally got son (4) in swimming lessons and he took off like a fish in water, and yes my Mom or babysitter sends me video's but I wish I was there to see this accomplishment in his life.

The children do love their Dad, and enjoy spending what little time he has to offer. But I do know our future is up to me.

Thanks for your encouraging words!
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