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Old 06-15-2011, 12:43 PM
frustrateddad1970 frustrateddad1970 is offline
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Default Postponing Case Conference

I attempted to propose changes to our current separation agreement regarding access as the child is now older -( last agreement 2006) and the child would like to see me more. Tried to work thing out with child's mother. April 9 2011 - she would not respond to any suggestions. Suggested mediation, counselling no response.Hand delivered written proposal of changes April 27, 2011 to help stimulate discussion. Out of frustration filed and served papers May 24, 2011. Only after being served would my ex respond to proposed changes. She only addressed a couple of items and denied all other changes. Since filing I have continued to repeatedly offer to work together outside of court to resolve differences if we could agree to a method and time frame for responding. I again offered options such as Collaberative Family Law, Parenting Mediator - nothing. I received a legal letter from her lawyer requesting to postpone case conference but no response as to how we can negotiate. The reason her lawyer give for postponing case conference is so both parites have adequate time to fully consider all the proposed changes and to comunicate and negotiate between both parties. According to Family Law Rules - case conference brief only had to be served 7 days prior to case conference. In my case my ex has had the proposed changes since April 27, 2011 and the Case Conference brief since May 24, 2011. Our Case Conference is July 14, 2011. I feel this is adequate time.

Unfortunately neither the lawyer or my ex will communicate in regards to the proposed changes unless the case conference is postponed. In the Family Law Guide it states that you can continue to negotiate and come to an agreement at anytime. Despite repeated attempts I cannot get any response.

I am not opposed to postponing the case conference if it is possible without withdrawing and starting again.- but I am not sure it will do any good since prior to filing I could get no response either. Does anyone know if it is possible to postpone the first case conference? If so what form do you use?

I am self-representing and my ex-wife's lawyer refuses to communicate via, phone, e-mail just formal letter. When I send a formal letter not always will the lawyer respond. She will have my ex-wife respond.

I am reasonable and feel it is in the best interests of everyone to work outside of the court- but is it unreasonable to set up a means to negotiate without withdrawing paperwork.

Instead of wasting time postponing case conference - we could be using this time to negotiate and compromise on the proposed changes.

Thoughts? Should I just postpone case conference if so how? Or is this just a delay tactic?
Old 06-15-2011, 12:49 PM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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Delay tactic.
Move forward.

Case conference is still very much on the early side of litigation. By the sounds of it she doesn't want to do anything constructive anyways (refusing mediation and whatnot).

Let them go through the formal channels and request an adjournment (not sure thats even possible). But I certainly would not consent to any sort of postponement.
Old 06-18-2011, 11:38 AM
selfrep selfrep is offline
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Seems this is a fairly standard tactic. Case conferences are a great way of gaining insight into your perspective at little to no cost. I usually did pretty good at these and usually came out feeling on top. This gives you an opportunity to get an opinion of a Judge who makes rulings in these cases free of charge.

I totally realize how emotionally draining this all is and commend you on all your efforts. You sound very reasonable in your requests. Unfortunately, your wife has a lawyer which impedes your ability to settle. Their is no profit in settling and to lawyers this is a business like any other with the goal of making a profit.

In one of my Settlement conferences I had a lawyer that refused to co operate. I made all my filings and refused any of the extensions that he asked for. File and serve your brief and move forward. I am not sure of your level of expertise but I have also used lawyers as consultants in order to assist me with documentation preparation. I also was a frequent participant in a support group for fathers run by Dany Gillespi which I found very informative.

This also is a very good source of information here. My advice is to press forward with the Case conference as the previous person mentioned.

My children unfortunately have been raised in a dysfunctional divorce environment and developed some not so desirable coping skills. I love them and just last night went for dinner and movie and had a great time. We started in 2005 and they are now 16 and 19 years of age.

Good luck in your negotiations and I wish you a speedy low cost resolution to your difficulties. Remember both you and your wife owe this to your children to settle as quickly as possible for their well being.
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