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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #51  
Old 03-25-2013, 09:30 AM
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hadenough hadenough is offline
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^ that is correct ^

Bankruptcy Assignments are Public Record. Don't let her or her douchebag trustee attempt to talk circles around you. Read up some more and they'll know you didn't just fall off the turnip truck. Use "CP" and "PB" instead of their long names. Reference the "BIA" and "OSB" - and a few other industry buzz words.

Personal??? No - public record. Her name will be on the OSB's website once this goes through. It is public record. For the record, your stbx sounds like an asshole, to me.

Last edited by hadenough; 03-25-2013 at 09:32 AM.
  #52  
Old 03-25-2013, 04:53 PM
Dazed_and_confused Dazed_and_confused is offline
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Originally Posted by hadenough View Post
Speak to a trustee first. The one I pm'd you has offices all over.
My first question to a trustee reveals a cause for concern; apparently the trustee is not required to inform anyone of the bankruptcy unless they are listed as a creditor. Even though my name is on the mortgage too (in fact on ANY joint items) the trustee does not have to let me know! Wow! This could lead to some serious issues. If my STBX had not told me she was filing for bankruptcy, I may not have known until the bank moved on a power of sale / foreclosure or when they came after me for their payments. I will call it stupid, although I really want to let loose a stream of colourful profanities about the insanity of this!

I have sent a couple follow up questions and I'm waiting for the response to those.
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:33 PM
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I and others know what you are going through right now. Hadenough is correct - get up to speed on the BIA.

Trustee will possibly send you a form to fill out to determine if you should be considered an official creditor.

TRUSTEES ARE INCOMPETENT SHARKS. DO NOT TRUST ANYTHING THEY SAY TO YOU.
  #54  
Old 03-25-2013, 06:00 PM
Dazed_and_confused Dazed_and_confused is offline
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I and others know what you are going through right now. Hadenough is correct - get up to speed on the BIA.
Sadly, I do know more than I ever wanted to about bankruptcy. We went through it together some years ago because of too many financial mistakes (Which is why I mentioned that this will be her 2nd bankruptcy). I learned from that and have been working to recover ever since. Apparently though, the STBX sees it as an easy way out, rather than a catastrophic event.

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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Trustee will possibly send you a form to fill out to determine if you should be considered an official creditor.
Just to be clear, right now I am not talking to HER trustee, but one from the organization hadenough pm'd me. I rarely use a sole source for basing my actions, etc. upon, and I will be getting in touch with a local lawyer when I return home tomorrow ...... 2 days earlier than anticipated from my first real rest / vacation in close to 10 years. That on it's own is enough to make me a little ornery right now.

The only thing I am looking forward to right now is being able to see my kids this weekend. Even though I had to jump through hoops and bend over backwards to be able to be "allowed" to see them .........
  #55  
Old 05-03-2013, 11:21 PM
Dazed_and_confused Dazed_and_confused is offline
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Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Just thought I would reappear and let anyone interested know how things are going. Certainly it has been an exhausting several weeks. Thanks to the help of a good friend I was able to connect with a great real estate agent and sell the house in 1 week (from listing to acceptance of offer), although the actual closing was today, and I should receive my portion of the proceeds next week. Not a lot, but it is cash on hand to pay the legal bills, and I avoid the bankruptcy pit.

I was in touch with her Trustee and I was able to obtain a copy of her bankruptcy filing. Being the helpful person I am, I pointed out how she failed to claim a couple sources of income and that she failed to account for the extra 2 pay periods in a year (which drives up the average monthly income figure) and missed listing a tuition debt (if payed just prior to bankruptcy it is preferential treatment and gets clawed back). The end result will likely extend her bankruptcy 12 months, and will make it very difficult to pursue her studies in the future.

Having been able to find a nice small apartment and start getting settled, I have been fortunate enough to have my kids over at least once a week for a special home cooked supper and time together. They still love Dad's cooking, and I have rediscovered the joy of making a decent meal for people I love to be with. I have been able to walk them to school several times a week too. Obviously the kids are feeling uncertain, as the initial few visits were relatively quiet, but they are really starting to open up and talk, and ask when we can do supper / walk to school again. So far I have been allowed to see them whenever they agree to do so ....... I'm hoping that continues, as my youngest son has indicated he would love to come spend a night (or more) with me. With summer coming on, it is very possible he will want to spend the majority of his time at my place. Just to be clear, the reason he wants to be with me is because we do things together; I am not bribing him. He is not getting that with his mother.

I tried to negotiate things with the STBX, but all she did was take any goodwill gesture and reject the rest. BTW, she is still living in the house ...... now renting it from the new owner. I chose to allow that for the sake of my kids, rather than be a prick and reject it, even if I might have made more money off a different purchaser. So, it looks like I will have to fight, and I will be meeting again with my lawyer next week to discuss things. Unbelievably, she wants me to pay the cost of a separation agreement. Well, it was her decision, so she can pay.

Overall, while there is still a lot of hurt left in me, life is starting to look good again. The good days are outnumbering the bad. The support of friends and family is helping me get through this.
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