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She filed for divorce yesterday PLEASE READ

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  • #31
    Well for starters full custody is not shared custody. It's one or the other. So on the most fundamental issue you are your wife are miles apart. Also remember that it is one thing watching court proceedings where you are removed emotionally and another being in one.

    Lawyers do not make custody decisions - judges do. Lawyers can provide legal advice. And what you see as fair is not always what judges see no matter how rational or reasonable your request is. Family court is never a slam dunk.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Stargate View Post
      Well for starters full custody is not shared custody. It's one or the other.
      who said full custody is shared custody?

      Originally posted by Stargate View Post
      So on the most fundamental issue you are your wife are miles apart. Also remember that it is one thing watching court proceedings where you are removed emotionally and another being in one.
      We may be 1000's of miles apart but "best interest of the child" is what is not apart.

      Also watching court cases and witnessing fairness means something.

      Originally posted by Stargate View Post
      Lawyers do not make custody decisions - judges do. Lawyers can provide legal advice.
      Who said lawyers make decisions?

      Originally posted by Stargate View Post
      And what you see as fair is not always what judges see no matter how rational or reasonable your request is. Family court is never a slam dunk.
      Here I agree. No doubt. But that also means if a mother is likely to get full custody, she may lose it as well, no matter how reasonable her request is.

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      • #33
        Good luck with your case - you'll need it.

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        • #34
          I applaud you for doing the majority of the parenting here. If you have been taking care of your child for 10 months for 90% of the time, she most certainly owes you the support.

          I think she would be out of her mind to fight you for full custody, as she has no way of proving you are not a fit parent. She left the child with you for that long already. I think she could at best get shared, so not negotiating with you would just be racking up lawyers fee for nothing.

          Good luck. I don't think you will need "luck" just proof that you are doing this with your child's best interests at heart.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by billiechic View Post
            I applaud you for doing the majority of the parenting here. If you have been taking care of your child for 10 months for 90% of the time, she most certainly owes you the support.

            I think she would be out of her mind to fight you for full custody, as she has no way of proving you are not a fit parent. She left the child with you for that long already. I think she could at best get shared, so not negotiating with you would just be racking up lawyers fee for nothing.

            Good luck. I don't think you will need "luck" just proof that you are doing this with your child's best interests at heart.
            I did the same for my two kids (I worked from home and took care of them from diapers till 5 years later). She got full custody even though I asked for shared/joint and judges are still biased towards the woman.

            Family law is never a slam dunk.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Stargate View Post
              Family law is never a slam dunk.
              Ain't THAT the TRUTH

              Edward... Good luck to you.

              I am sure that if you and your wife work together, you will get joint custody, with equal access shared between the both of you.

              And you can choose to pay her guideline CS, even if the child is with you half of the time. That would certainly be unprecedented, but sure nice of you nonetheless.

              Keep in mind though, that even if you think that you have a clear, straightforward and FAIR case... what you think really doesn't matter.

              Nothing about Family Law is FAIR.

              What is BEST for the children is often ignored for what is BEST for the parent with the BEST Lawyer!!!!

              Your wife carried and gave birth to your child... that in itself swings the pendulum in her direction... but what you are offering your wife is more than reasonable... and if you present this to a Judge, I am sure you will have no problems.

              If your ex doesn't agree and wants sole custody, and you in turn seek sole custody.... I would be AMAZED if you actually won.

              I hope you keep us updated if you do, and tell us how you managed to pull it off.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by representingself View Post
                ......

                Nothing about Family Law is FAIR.

                What is BEST for the children is often ignored for what is BEST for the parent with the BEST Lawyer!!!!

                ...........
                Yep, that sums it up nicely.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                  I applaud you for doing the majority of the parenting here. If you have been taking care of your child for 10 months for 90% of the time, she most certainly owes you the support.

                  I think she would be out of her mind to fight you for full custody, as she has no way of proving you are not a fit parent. She left the child with you for that long already. I think she could at best get shared, so not negotiating with you would just be racking up lawyers fee for nothing.

                  Good luck. I don't think you will need "luck" just proof that you are doing this with your child's best interests at heart.
                  Thank you.

                  She said she wouldn't go to court even if i wanted to (meaning she would do her best to avoid it)

                  Question comes why did she ask for sole custody in her file. 2 possible reasons. 1. She is controlled by her family pretty much and they must have put a lot of effort t5o it, and 2, she hoped I would be too nice or too naive to accept it because she promised me almost equal time. I need it on papers not in words.

                  If it comes to the court, what is she going to use against me? Maybe lies and false witnesses which I would challenge. False witnessing is illegal.

                  Oh yea she would also use that she bought him some toys and clothes (when with her) but she will not mention where she spent $8000 of CCTB.

                  What would I use.

                  Spent most time with the child, medical care, psychological upbringing, teaching him English and other stuff, RESP bank account for his education plus other things against her that she did. For example she put the child in daycare while we were both unemployed.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by representingself View Post
                    Ain't THAT the TRUTH

                    Edward... Good luck to you.

                    I am sure that if you and your wife work together, you will get joint custody, with equal access shared between the both of you.

                    And you can choose to pay her guideline CS, even if the child is with you half of the time. That would certainly be unprecedented, but sure nice of you nonetheless.

                    Keep in mind though, that even if you think that you have a clear, straightforward and FAIR case... what you think really doesn't matter.

                    Nothing about Family Law is FAIR.

                    What is BEST for the children is often ignored for what is BEST for the parent with the BEST Lawyer!!!!

                    Your wife carried and gave birth to your child... that in itself swings the pendulum in her direction... but what you are offering your wife is more than reasonable... and if you present this to a Judge, I am sure you will have no problems.

                    If your ex doesn't agree and wants sole custody, and you in turn seek sole custody.... I would be AMAZED if you actually won.

                    I hope you keep us updated if you do, and tell us how you managed to pull it off.
                    Actually even if the custody is shared, the parent with higher income MUST pay CS. yes I am trying to work it peacefully and make an agreement.

                    What is best for the kids is often what is best for the parent? Not any more in Alberta. (there's always a few exceptions I admit) But here it is what is best for the child. Yes, a GOOD lawyer can make a mountain out of a mole. A judge may feel sympathy towards the wrong parent. I know all that. Outcome is not predictable. But that's why I have a lawyer too. That is why there is appeal.

                    I disagree with you when you say just because she carried and gave birth to the child, that is her advantage. That helps her but not putting her son as her priority, let alone #1 priority, can erase her advantage.

                    And finally, if we both went to court for full custody, I don't know what would happen. But I would go for shared because of the child, even if she goes for full.

                    Comment

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