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Experienced with bankruptcy, losing home etc? and some rambles.

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  • Experienced with bankruptcy, losing home etc? and some rambles.

    It's been nearly 3 months since the separation, which will make the 90 day mark for changing my marital status w/revenue Canada therefore being able to apply for a different Child Tax Credit amount and Childcare Subsidy... although my ex is acting all weird about making the call to Revenue Canada for a change of address....
    I spent a few wonderful days enjoying the summer with friends and family. I am really making progress emotionally! I disengaged from any arguing or discussions or phone calls with him and found I felt quite content.
    We had come pretty close to having a separation agreement in place - he had gotten an apt. I was going to stay in the house for at least one year with our child. Yesterday he had an appt. with a bankruptcy trustee. He hasn't filed yet, but he wants to walk away from the house which has neg. equity - he actually would be able to keep the house b/c there is no equity.... he just doesn't want it. Part of me understands why he doesn't want to keep the house but... he came by after the appt. and said the guy told him to tell me to get my stuff out of the house ASAP. I don't think it works quite like that, does it??? He refuses to tell me who he is filing with. I said I would like to ask a couple questions, but I will just ask someone else in the business.
    Also, he is telling me all of this total bullsh*t, for instance, I asked him if his new apt was a one bedrm or two (he's supposedly moving in w/ new girlfriend -claims he does not want to but needs someone to help him pay the rent- nice guy, good luck to her) (also the reason I am inquiring is b/c of our 4 yr old daughter) first he said it was a one bedroom main flr. house then he said it's a 2 bedrm apartment with a swimming pool, then says he had gone back to the guy whoever that is, and had him rip up the lease and that this guy is supposedly going to hold on to it for him til Sep. 1st, then he says he's considering moving out of town for work... then says he's not.... I find this very annoying, he is so insincere!!!

  • #2
    Another thing I find disturbing is that since he is declaring bankruptcy, his lawyer has told him he should stop paying any bills b/c 'that's what declaring bankruptcy is all about.' I find this absurd as our child and I are still in the home waiting to find out what is happening and I have NO income, I have 15.oo to my name right now! Hoping to hear about a job on Monday. Already I had a call today that the phone will be cut off on Wednesday if a certain amount is not paid. I'd love to be helping out with the bills right now but I CANNOT. I am barely making it by. I have difficulty understanding how a person could even consider doing this.

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    • #3
      if he is filing for bankrupcy and you cannot afford to buy him out then the bank will take over the house and sell it themselves. The bank can force you out so I would start looking for another place. It doesn't matter if there is equity in the house or not. If there is a mortgage then that is all that matters. The bank will secure the house to protect themselves and their interests.

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      • #4
        Just a quick item I can offer you at the moment. I went to CRA website and found this. This is the form you need (you may already know that) and can print it out from the website. You must wait the 90 days, but you do not need his permission change of address etc to do so. I did this 5 yrs ago on my own and not a problem with CRA. Simple little form really.

        RC65 Change of Marital Status
        You can view this form in:

        PDF rc65-09e.pdf (70 KB)
        PDF fillable rc65-fill-09e.pdf (71 KB)

        Last update: 2009-06-15
        Available in print: 2009-07-07

        For more information, see our help file. You can also order printed copies and multiple formats of this form, such as large print, Braille, audio, and E-text (accessible electronic text).

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        • #5
          My lawyer phoned today and advised me to start looking for a place. He is filing in September, so I wonder if I'll have until at least October? Who would be the best person to find this out from, the bank itself once he files?

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          • #6
            I would call the bank and explain the situation to them and find out how long you have. Usually in a bankrupcy it is pretty quick though.

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            • #7
              Talk with your lawyer but as well if you are listed on the mortgage you do have every right to speak to the bank. One thing if the mortgage is being paid the bank cannot do a lot until the courts have decided what is going to be done. Been 5 yrs now for me and bank just sat still as mortgage was paid, the ex kept the house. BVut all mine is being dragged out needlessly. I know you said you have no money right now. Have you considered getting some assistance from social assistance? Please consider. As your are not employed and have a child to support they will be very helpful. This may allow you to have enough to hang on. Now as well they do allow you to work SOME. P/T any earnings above they will take it off dollar for dallar. so be wary. you would also be entitled to subsidised daycare if you needed. Even on a casual basis. Talk to your city offices or soc services can guide you on that too. Point is there is help out there. In the meantime get on your lawyers case about your ex and his fickleness. He can also get you an emergancy hearing to get some support out of the guy. For both of you and your child.
              You mentioned about time, Time to look for a place before getting to court? Most likely. It may take some time maybe a couple of months. What will happen first is you will start with case conferences. This would be in front of a Judge and you both will be there to start discussing issues and see what can be settled out of court. This whole process will take time. BTW, Your ex is expected to provide a separate room for the child if there will be overnight visits.

              Sorry for the long story but lots to say as I have been in your shoes.

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              • #8
                Thanks everyone. The mortgage is not in my name, I did sign once for a remortgage. I will speak with the bank once he files. He told me his lawyer wants another retainer and he cannot afford it so he is willing to comply with my 'requests' which are sole custody (of course he will have access, but just to avoid further problems down the road` my lawyer told me that the term joint custody is going out of style so to speak) and the SS amount increases slightly due to the bankruptcy- weird how this stuff works. I am going for less than half the suggested amount of SS as it is. Am I crazy? I cannot justify taking his entire paycheque no matter what a *#$!@ he's been. Half will suffice. Keeping my fingers crossed about the p/t job I'll know more Tues. I just had an email about it.

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                • #9
                  this may be a stupid question, but if your name is not on the mortgage then why did you need to sign for a remortgage?? If your name is not on the mortgage then they may not tell you anything due to privacy laws etc.

                  You are not crazy for not wanting to take his entire paycheque, in fact it makes you look like a woman who is ready to move on. Sure you could try to screw him out of everything to "make him pay" but you are acting like a reasonable person. I applaude you for being a woman who makes the rest of us proud.

                  Good luck with the job

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                  • #10
                    I would be calling the bank just to make sure your name is not on the mortgage. If you've ever had to sign anything for one, you may actually be on there. You don't want his bankrupcy ruining your credit, and you have a right to know what's going on.

                    I'm glad that you are being fair not wanting to take more that your ex can afford to support you and the kids. If only everyone could be so mature!

                    Comment

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