Our boy had a tough weekend when his mom elected self-help action #3 on Saturday morning at 5:45am, on my parenting weekend. In an overt effort to prevent our son from playing ice hockey in his habitual school area (were he is registered and has played for the past 2 years) she drove with her boyfriend from her new house (1/2 hour away); then parked in front of my vehicle and blocked my exit to the early Saturday morning game.
The neighbour's son came over dressed in full equipment ready to join my son for their game which I was driving the kids to. When I went to depart with the kids and their gear, I noticed the vehicle blocking mine and was greeted with my ex and her bf awaiting us. As I loaded their gear in, my ex quickly spoke to our son about a "loyalty issue" of playing with his registered team resulting in him not being able to play competitive hockey in the new community where she lives. (She has been speaking to our son over the past 7 weeks, in efforts to convince him hockey in her new community would be great for him).
Bf and I were reasonably civil, however bf dropped F bomb at least 6 times loudly for public display and many heard. A neighbour called police and they showed up later (we departed) and they attempted a police report with nobody there but my sons' friend neighbour who gave some info to police.
I told bf his language was unacceptable in presence of children. My ex coaxed our son into their car. I told ex and bf to leave the kids out of the present court dispute and let the court decide the hockey issue. Are they going to prevent two boys from playing ice hockey on Saturday morning.
Ex called off her bf, and both cars went to game. On the drive, I asked the (9 and 10 yr. old. ) boys if they heard anything. They both said yes the F word loudly many times. I said it is wrong for grown ups to use that word.
I asked my son what he thought about the situation this morning, and he thought it wrong his mom and mom's bf showed up and prevented the boys from going to hockey. Our son was teary eyed many times from being caught in drama and torn between two parents...
Dressing room drama: ex followed boys into dressing room and our son felt naturally uncomfortable, and was uncomfortable playing based on concern of "disloyalty" impacting his chance to play for competitive team in mom's new community. He asked our coach in front of parents and his teammates if playing on this team would be viewed by competitive team in new area as not loyal. Coach responded appropriately, said our son is registered with this team, and encouraged our son to play hockey now since he is here; and not worry about decision, as Registrar would make it and if it meant playing in another area, he's sure the coach would accept him, and felt loyalty issue was not a concern.
I spoke to coach after game, apologized for display (aside: ex forced on) and he and I addressed issues he was concerned with and we departed understanding and respecting each other.
Our son was impacted by this drama display and would not attend his Sunday hockey practice. His (10 yr. old) hockey teammate friend told his mom (my neighbour) that our son is afraid to say no to his mom.
The repetitive nature of my ex's hockey focused actions for our son (in her community) is unreasonable, invasive, and abusive to our 9 yr. old son. Our son believes he needs to play competitive hockey in order to make the NHL. Yes, he told me this again yesterday. I have taken every effort to be civil, communicate with my ex at every situation about what is best for our son, and have a balanced lifestyle for him. She does not accept my perspective, and has filed for sole decision making and physically custody of our kids and recently served me with an urgent motion seeking sole custody of kids. (dismissed).
In my opinion, this latest action was a high drama display of mental abuse on our son.
I have my kids scheduled for counselling to address their issues. My ex refused our kids seek counselling as she believed they showed no signs of being affected by our separation.
Insight encouraged.
The neighbour's son came over dressed in full equipment ready to join my son for their game which I was driving the kids to. When I went to depart with the kids and their gear, I noticed the vehicle blocking mine and was greeted with my ex and her bf awaiting us. As I loaded their gear in, my ex quickly spoke to our son about a "loyalty issue" of playing with his registered team resulting in him not being able to play competitive hockey in the new community where she lives. (She has been speaking to our son over the past 7 weeks, in efforts to convince him hockey in her new community would be great for him).
Bf and I were reasonably civil, however bf dropped F bomb at least 6 times loudly for public display and many heard. A neighbour called police and they showed up later (we departed) and they attempted a police report with nobody there but my sons' friend neighbour who gave some info to police.
I told bf his language was unacceptable in presence of children. My ex coaxed our son into their car. I told ex and bf to leave the kids out of the present court dispute and let the court decide the hockey issue. Are they going to prevent two boys from playing ice hockey on Saturday morning.
Ex called off her bf, and both cars went to game. On the drive, I asked the (9 and 10 yr. old. ) boys if they heard anything. They both said yes the F word loudly many times. I said it is wrong for grown ups to use that word.
I asked my son what he thought about the situation this morning, and he thought it wrong his mom and mom's bf showed up and prevented the boys from going to hockey. Our son was teary eyed many times from being caught in drama and torn between two parents...
Dressing room drama: ex followed boys into dressing room and our son felt naturally uncomfortable, and was uncomfortable playing based on concern of "disloyalty" impacting his chance to play for competitive team in mom's new community. He asked our coach in front of parents and his teammates if playing on this team would be viewed by competitive team in new area as not loyal. Coach responded appropriately, said our son is registered with this team, and encouraged our son to play hockey now since he is here; and not worry about decision, as Registrar would make it and if it meant playing in another area, he's sure the coach would accept him, and felt loyalty issue was not a concern.
I spoke to coach after game, apologized for display (aside: ex forced on) and he and I addressed issues he was concerned with and we departed understanding and respecting each other.
Our son was impacted by this drama display and would not attend his Sunday hockey practice. His (10 yr. old) hockey teammate friend told his mom (my neighbour) that our son is afraid to say no to his mom.
The repetitive nature of my ex's hockey focused actions for our son (in her community) is unreasonable, invasive, and abusive to our 9 yr. old son. Our son believes he needs to play competitive hockey in order to make the NHL. Yes, he told me this again yesterday. I have taken every effort to be civil, communicate with my ex at every situation about what is best for our son, and have a balanced lifestyle for him. She does not accept my perspective, and has filed for sole decision making and physically custody of our kids and recently served me with an urgent motion seeking sole custody of kids. (dismissed).
In my opinion, this latest action was a high drama display of mental abuse on our son.
I have my kids scheduled for counselling to address their issues. My ex refused our kids seek counselling as she believed they showed no signs of being affected by our separation.
Insight encouraged.
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