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Are we just enabling bad parenting??

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  • Are we just enabling bad parenting??

    I just read the most horrific thread I have ever seen... http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f4/help-4676/ and it has me less inclined to offer advice or assistance...

    At what point do we say, "Not giving any info to this person"???
    Last edited by InterprovincialParents; 10-04-2010, 08:39 PM.

  • #2
    This type of clown has been here before and will be here again. As incredible as it is, all you can do is call it out and then let it go.

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    • #3
      This is the reason why the laws need to change. It is people like this woman who causes many problems. She has many similarities with my ex, except my ex was more resourceful and doesn't mind making up lies to get what she wants. Lucky for me the courts finally understand, unlucky for me it cost over $200K so far.

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      • #4
        I would like to think that women like this are the exception, and not the rule...

        It upsets me as a mother to see her alienate her children this way, knowing the damage she is doing, and the pain she is causing.

        My heart goes out to these children, and the poor man who made the terrible mistake in marrying her.

        Maybe I am the ignorant one, because I still believe in love, and justice and honour.

        I am truly disturbed by this woman...

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        • #5
          The group I belong to has on overage 5 new people every week. Many of these people are dealing with just such a woman. Often the complaints these people have are nearly identical, the only thing that changes is the names, and the ages of the children.

          There are too many ways for people to abuse the system. Money and children are always the issues that people fight over, and unfortunately people like this lady use both as a tool to get what she wants, and often they are enabled to do such by a system that lets them use other agencies to do the dirty deeds for them.

          Too bad she can't see that she is destroying her children in her attempt to control her ex.

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          • #6
            it is so sad that there are mothers (hate calling her that because she isn't one IMHO) who think like she does. She obviously has some issues with either men or her father not being in the picture.

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            • #7
              This is so sad. I am socked to say the least about what the outcome of the case was.

              My heart goes out to the poor kids. I am hoping that the children will one day seek some help as this mother has essentially destroyed them. I hope dad has not lost the will to fight for the best interests of his kids.

              InterprovincialParents, thanks for the link. In this case I have to agree, this is just enabling bad parenting. How disgusting. What an injustice.

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              • #8
                Uggg... horrible.
                As far as the outcome of the case goes - I don't know if I believe her. I think that she is delusional. In that post she has complained about dad going to the school with the court order... I don't think that he would bother if the outcome of the case was what she claimed. I think that her posts prove that she lives completely outside reality, so maybe she only heard what she wanted to hear. I refuse (maybe just naive) to think that that kind of person could get away with it.

                The only thing that comes from a thread like this is that some of us have that person in our lives and it is scary but helpful to know how they come to the conclusions that they do. Our kids mom shows up with things during our time, she calls and says things like "it's too bad you aren't coming here earlier because then I could take you to Wonderland." When dad & I got married she told our son (8years old) that when he gets married she will be there - but dad won't because only the mommies are important at weddings. I always try to figure out what on earth is going through her mind... now, sadly, I have a copy of it in black and white.

                I hope that the children figure it out quick and that dad doesn't give up. Its too bad that we can't give this entire thread to dad. My heart goes out to them all.

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                • #9
                  Sounds remarkably like my ex (I had to re-read it to be sure that it wasn't her), but this person is very much real I think.

                  This is what is wrong with our family law system - it allows for people like this to get far enough to cause huge amounts of damage to the children and the people who love them.

                  There will always be people like this out there but it is up to us as a society to force change and overhaul the family law system.

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                  • #10
                    My first impression was "Troll!"

                    But, at risk of sounding like I'm defending her, which I am not as I'm still busy shuddering, you never get the full story on here, just one side. Who knows what happened in their marriage, what kind of man he is. She came here to be told what she wanted to hear and not to listen to anybody's advice.

                    All we can hope is that the father keeps exercising his limited access, letting the kids know he loves them, and that they will someday develop the maturity to see the truth their mother twisted.

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                    • #11
                      The thing that makes me want to cyber punch her in the ovaries is the comment about the 9 year old no longer wants to see him and maybe the other kids will come to their senses. ugg

                      Poor kids.

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                      • #12
                        Very difficult for the parent attempting to secure some of the child's present and future access ... Says lots, notwithstanding the other parent's past, current and future conduct.

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                        • #13
                          i pray for her... so she can grow into a complete person with feelings.... remorse, love, pride, and not just for her own being... for others as well.
                          My ex is much like her in his way of not being able to look past himself and his wants... no matter who gets hurt... but he has emotional intimacy problems and doesn't understand the hurt or pain of others... its as if the switch of compassion or the like, got stuck on the off position... never being able to think of others unless it effects them directly...
                          HOW VERY SAD to live life within yourself only... not being able to truly love therefore not truly being able to feel loved either.... sad, sad, sad... and those poor children... enough to give one bad dreams thinking of what will happen to them.

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