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  • ex demands

    SA signed 2012, 2 children now 16,18 and in school, CS & s7 were forgiven, agreement was no CS until ex was employed.


    Ex was employed at gov day after SA signature. He started paying following end of month CS but for only 1 child and no S7.

    Motion filed recently for CS & S7(for the 16 yr old, orthodontist expenses only. We are both represented
    ex lawyer request adjournement and ex send me a registered letter which D received and signed for it.

    Anyhow in the letter ex state that there is no need to go to court for S7 and no mention about CS.

    He is making the following demands:

    -demand that I provide for the 18 all the report card, record of attendance and all accademic info.

    My question is what he is entitle to.
    Base on the fact that he refuse to pay CS and D is over 18, I do not beleive that I have to provide him anything. It would be better that this info is actually coming from her since I do not have access to that unless she provides it to me.

    Her school expenses is fully cover under RESP(registered to my name) which the money was deposit in her account for her to pay the expenses.

    I really do not know what he is expecting as record of attendance. He actually visited (suprise visit) her in school during both semester so he knows she was in school.

    I am sure that D will provide the report card to him if he only ask and would be better for their relationship instead of going behind her back and asking me to provided them.

    It was also stated in the SA and that he was his responsibility to get the information from the 3rd party which he is getting except for D education as even myself cannot get this from the school because she is 18 going on 19. School stated tha D has to sign a form to autorised this and she is not willing to do so.
    Last edited by Moolight; 05-05-2013, 09:39 AM.

  • #2
    Sorry but you are all over the place here and I'm not quite sure what you are actually asking.

    You say the RESP covers all of the d18 expenses. So what are you asking of the father? If you are seeking anything at all from him, to you, for the d18, then YOU have to prove that she is still a "child of the marriage" according to the definitions of the Family Law Act. This means YOU have to prove that she is in attendance at post-secondary school.

    If the daughter is not willing to provide this information, either to you or to her father, then she has removed herself from parental control and is technically no longer a child of the marriage. You need to sit down and have serious talk with your daughter about her responsibility here. It is not "nothing."

    If your daughter is not willing to release the information to you, what makes you think she will release it to her father? You have no reason to think that, so it is not a valid reason for you to stop being responsible for documentation.

    If he is refusing to pay section 7 or CS for the d18, and you are fine with that, then let the daughter have her independance, let her utilize the RESP, and be done with it. However the father needs to cover himself legally, he needs to know he is not going to be in court over CS and expenses for the d18, so he needs documentation one way or another.

    Offer him a signed document witnessed by your lawyer acknowledging that the daughter has removed herself from parental control and is no longer a child of the marriage. That should satisfy his (and your) needs. There needs to be some documentation.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Moolight View Post
      -demand that I provide for the 18 all the report card, record of attendance and all accademic info.
      You are looking to take money from your ex based on the premise that your daughter is currently in school. It is reasonable to ask for such proof.

      Given that you claim you don't plan on actually collecting the CS, then it is also reasonable for you (or daughter) to not provide that info.

      I don't see the problem here.


      School stated tha D has to sign a form to autorised this and she is not willing to do so.
      So, again, you guys want to take money from the ex, but don't want to prove that you have the right to take that money?

      Comment


      • #4
        Father has the proof since I gave all the regisration papers and payment, books and activities for the year. I even showed him the budget for D before SA was signed.

        He also visited directly at school so he has already all the proof that she is in school.

        He refused to pay CS for the last 3 years for D and now he just decided that he wanted all the info from me but does not say that it is because he considering for CS.

        D would have to sign a form in order to allow him or me direct accessto her school records which I do not beleive that should be done.
        That would open her complete file including some counseilling and special assistance service.

        These services are benefial for her and she was told that they were confidential. Please note that her father had prevented her from getting any of these services in the past. She waited till she was 18 in order to request these herself.

        This is different than just providing the grade and I am certain she would not refuse that but never ask her directly. The grade are available only online and I saw them but never ask for print out as I did not see a need for them. I did mention to her that it would be a good idea to share them with her Dad and she stated that he never asked and will wait till he does.

        My point is why the father would want me to get all the info when he can just ask D. He always dealt directly with the children for all access and plan by his choice.

        To me it is not like he does not talk to D, he does have the internet at his place. D can easily log in her profile and show him her grades.

        She has never remove herself from parent care, I just covered 100% her living expenses and RESP her school expenses. Father never contributed even for her dental surgery as he always had an excuse.

        He is asking for the report card, including record of attendance.

        I really do not know what he wants as record of attendance.
        Last edited by Moolight; 05-05-2013, 11:20 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Daughter does not have to open her counselling file.

          Daughter has to go to the school library and print off a copy of her tax receipt for tuition which is available online, and ideally a copy of her unofficial transcript which is available online as well. This is all you or your ex needs.

          Her refusal to do that means she is withdrawing from parental control and is no longer a child of the marriage according to the Family Law Act. This may be argued against in court, but she is NOT fulfilling her legal requirements to continue receiving child support.

          Your daughter is an adult. In order to keep receiving child support she has to fulfill some documentation requirements.

          Her refusal to comply and co-operate is at the core of this issue.

          Your support for her behaviour is not helping. Stop making excuses for her. Her father is in the right here.

          Comment


          • #6
            I have to side with the majority here. Proof that you paid for school is not the same as proof that your daughter is attending school. I can't imagine why your daughter would refuse to provide this information. Are you sure she isn't failing or already dropped out?

            Comment


            • #7
              Again you do not get it. She is not refusing to provide the info, just providing direct access to her file.

              She will provide the info, she just want her Father to request it himself from her as it should be. He has not even tried.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Moolight View Post
                Again you do not get it. She is not refusing to provide the info, just providing direct access to her file.

                She will provide the info, she just want her Father to request it himself from her as it should be. He has not even tried.
                Really??

                You and she are playing with the semantics. Give him the information he has requested, already. Stop playing games, he is entitled to certain information, and you both know he has made the request. She has the choice to not open up her counseling files.
                Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                Comment


                • #9
                  So is his CS payments going directly to HER? If they are being paid to YOU then YOU need to provide the info and if SHE wants the money SHE needs to provide the info. He does not have the request anything. If either of YOU want money for CS, then you two need to get your act together and provide the documentation. You are the one that is not getting it. Your daughter should not even be in discussions about CS.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Moolight View Post
                    Again you do not get it. She is not refusing to provide the info, just providing direct access to her file.

                    She will provide the info, she just want her Father to request it himself from her as it should be. He has not even tried.
                    At first I thought you were just clueless. You are getting the money, you should be the one providing the documentation.

                    But I just had an idea... I think you are trying to start a fight between your daughter and her father, by making him ask her for proof of schooling.

                    So, clueless or evil, take your pick.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I am not getting a dime for her....nor does he want to contribute.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                        So is his CS payments going directly to HER? If they are being paid to YOU then YOU need to provide the info and if SHE wants the money SHE needs to provide the info. He does not have the request anything. If either of YOU want money for CS, then you two need to get your act together and provide the documentation. You are the one that is not getting it. Your daughter should not even be in discussions about CS.
                        He never ever paid CS or S7 for her.

                        Comment

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