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When can you be considered separated?

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  • When can you be considered separated?

    Is it not until you're living separately? I consider myself separated already. I have been sleeping on the couch for a couple months already.

  • #2
    You are separated when there is no chance of reconciliation. You can still be living together and be separated. Of course, it is easier to show separation if you are not living together.

    If you are still living together, judges look at the following:

    1) Is the couple still having sexual relations with each other?

    2) Do they carry out tasks for each other?
    eg.
    2a) Do they eat together?
    2b) Do they do laundry together?
    2c) Do they shop together?

    3) Do they describe themselves as separated outside the house? On social media?

    4) Do they socialize together?

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    • #3
      Then yes, I consider myself separated. Do I inform CRA about it? I just cannot take much more. I am scared of this man's state of mental health and I want him out of the house but I don't think he'll go.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Frostrated View Post
        I want him out of the house but I don't think he'll go.
        It's his home just as much as it is yours. You don't own the home.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Frostrated View Post
          Then yes, I consider myself separated. Do I inform CRA about it? I just cannot take much more. I am scared of this man's state of mental health and I want him out of the house but I don't think he'll go.
          can he afford to move? Can you pay for the mortgage etc by yourself?

          If you are that scared then you could go to the womans shelter that you mentioned.

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          • #6
            Yes change your status with CRA immediately (can be done online):

            https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-age...ue-agency.html

            That is one of the big ones Judges look for. Also, write out a new will (handwritten ones without a lawyer don’t need to be witnessed to be valid) until you can get afford to get a lawyer to help you with one. Deposit a copy with your mother or a trusted friend. In it, if you have sole custody of your children you can specify who you want to have custody of your children after your death. The custody you specify is valid for 90 days (or forever if not contested). That way you know your children are safe and won’t have to remain with him (he may suddenly have an interest in keeping your kids if he thinks it gives him access to your money when you die). You also want to draw up power of attorney and medical directives in case of incapacity specifically saying it is not him - name your mother or someone else who is safe. You don’t want him to have the authority to pull the plug if you have a car accident, aneurism, or other sudden events. There are Ontario-specific online forms you can print off and fill in the blanks, many libraries offer them for free.

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            • #7
              write out a new will (handwritten ones without a lawyer don’t need to be witnessed to be valid)
              This is probably a bad idea. While a holographic will can be valid, it is very often done badly so that everything becomes a mess which will be expensive to have a lawyer sort out.

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              • #8
                I agree a lawyer-drafted will is ideal, however if money and time is tight, a holographic will is better than the status quo and gives interim direction to the Judge if necessary. If the will is simple and uses clear language there is no reason a holographic will won't stand up in court - or stand up by itself in court if she writes it on a tractor fender

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by tunnelight View Post
                  It's his home just as much as it is yours. You don't own the home.
                  Legally, yes. When we started seeing each other, he had no job, had declared bankruptcy, was being evicted and had no money. Stupid me felt sorry for him and when he asked if he could move in, I let him. I felt so sorry for him and he had told me how all this had happened due to his girlfriend.

                  He moved into the home my mother and I owned. The first four years, he contributed not a penny to anything and paid for his own personal bills. Two years ago, I asked that he start helping, so he paid the gas bill and cable/internet. We took over the house in April and he used residual money from the refinancing to pay the mortgage. He's paid ONE mortgage with his own actual money.

                  He should receive exactly what he contributed...nothing. All the money he gets from the house will wind up being snorted.

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                  • #10
                    Heads up for others...do not change your marital status unless you are physically separated for 30 days. It doesn't count at all even if you live in different parts of the house. Just got off the phone with CRA. I wanted to explain it's not about the benefits, it's about wanting nothing to do with being associated with him because he's so vile.

                    Comment

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