Hi all,
Love reading all the valuable insight to this forum. Great info.
Spouse and I married for 8 years - two children - 7 year old daughter and 2 year old son. She is an “at home” self employed worker. She claims this was a part time job and she maintained the home and children (well so did I). She did not work much and is trying to claim $8 k a year (that’s another story for later). I am a continental shift worker and when I was home, took care of the children as well. I bathed, cooked, did homework, played, drove around etc. I coached my daughters soccer, volunteered at her school and dance etc. our son goes to daycare every Thursday and Friday because it gives us a break and we were going to use those days to have husband/wife outings until this bombshell. Needless to say, I tried to be in their lives as much as I could. Our separation was June. Two and a half months we have been sharing the children relatively equally with children being with her on days I work at her fathers house and them with me at the home on days I’m off. I have kept a journal. So it follows my continental schedule 2-2-3. In our letter to her lawyer, my lawyer was adamant on stating I didn’t agree to her removing the children from the home. Her lawyers letter response concerned money, and asking we propose a custody schedule. In the same letter her lawyer mentioned that she reported to him the current 2-2-3 agreement was working well to “smooth over” removing the children. My lawyer wants to deal with the children before anything else which I could not agree more...kids come first in all this. So we’ve proposed two proposals: follow the 2-2-3 because it works with my work and gives the children maximum contact with both mom and dad and it maintains status quo shared parenting or a week on week off with an overnight - I have gone to my work and accepted an accomadation to take all my Tuesdays of so my work no longer interferes.
Questions guys and girls...
1) I so desperately want some sort of 50/50 or close to it. I don’t want to be a visitor to my kids. I still want to be their daddy. What do you think of these proposals. Do I have my bases covered? She’s been allowing me to have them so she feels their safe with me, taken care of, supported. I’m financially stable. And I’ve covered my work.
2) what potential excuses could she use ? All I can think is “I was the stay at home mom”. How much weight does that have.
3). She’s gonna have to make an income now...how does that play in ..
4). If she doesn’t accept, what do you guys think of me throwing in my work benefits for 4/5 years or until she gets divorced from me as incentive because I know she wants it.
Problem is going to court is a crapshoot. I’ve heard of good stories and horror stories.
Thanks all
-J
Love reading all the valuable insight to this forum. Great info.
Spouse and I married for 8 years - two children - 7 year old daughter and 2 year old son. She is an “at home” self employed worker. She claims this was a part time job and she maintained the home and children (well so did I). She did not work much and is trying to claim $8 k a year (that’s another story for later). I am a continental shift worker and when I was home, took care of the children as well. I bathed, cooked, did homework, played, drove around etc. I coached my daughters soccer, volunteered at her school and dance etc. our son goes to daycare every Thursday and Friday because it gives us a break and we were going to use those days to have husband/wife outings until this bombshell. Needless to say, I tried to be in their lives as much as I could. Our separation was June. Two and a half months we have been sharing the children relatively equally with children being with her on days I work at her fathers house and them with me at the home on days I’m off. I have kept a journal. So it follows my continental schedule 2-2-3. In our letter to her lawyer, my lawyer was adamant on stating I didn’t agree to her removing the children from the home. Her lawyers letter response concerned money, and asking we propose a custody schedule. In the same letter her lawyer mentioned that she reported to him the current 2-2-3 agreement was working well to “smooth over” removing the children. My lawyer wants to deal with the children before anything else which I could not agree more...kids come first in all this. So we’ve proposed two proposals: follow the 2-2-3 because it works with my work and gives the children maximum contact with both mom and dad and it maintains status quo shared parenting or a week on week off with an overnight - I have gone to my work and accepted an accomadation to take all my Tuesdays of so my work no longer interferes.
Questions guys and girls...
1) I so desperately want some sort of 50/50 or close to it. I don’t want to be a visitor to my kids. I still want to be their daddy. What do you think of these proposals. Do I have my bases covered? She’s been allowing me to have them so she feels their safe with me, taken care of, supported. I’m financially stable. And I’ve covered my work.
2) what potential excuses could she use ? All I can think is “I was the stay at home mom”. How much weight does that have.
3). She’s gonna have to make an income now...how does that play in ..
4). If she doesn’t accept, what do you guys think of me throwing in my work benefits for 4/5 years or until she gets divorced from me as incentive because I know she wants it.
Problem is going to court is a crapshoot. I’ve heard of good stories and horror stories.
Thanks all
-J
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