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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 03-29-2021, 03:32 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is online now
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This is a no-brainer as petty behaviour and likely involved in 90% of breakups, but I would say for me it is:

1- The inevitable competition for best birthday and Christmas gifts.
2- Criticizing me just being a great dad. Whether it be because I buy random treats because I thought of kids while shopping, or because I want to be involved and engaged. Instead, I am made to feel guilty for being an actively involved parent. It actually drives my ex nuts.
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  #12  
Old 03-29-2021, 04:05 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I forgot to add that my husbands kids would give him regifted things. One year it was a game with the clearance sticker ($5) still attached. Ditto for their grandparents. Meanwhile he would spend hundreds on them for their birthdays, christmas and on visits. He never even got a thank you!!


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  #13  
Old 03-30-2021, 07:08 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is online now
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Another one for me is when ex “pretends” that they did not receive text or email.

I was married to my ex, and know that she is “glued” to her phone, so pretending that she never received or saw text is just lame. Watching my ex make excuses when I ask in person if they got my text is just comical. What a terrible liar.
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  #14  
Old 03-30-2021, 10:11 AM
arbortrail22 arbortrail22 is offline
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My favorite is the trading of time and the exactness down to the minute from the ex...

I will trade Saturday from 10am to Sunday at 9:45 (23.75 hours) for Monday after school to Tuesday Morning (4pm to 8am -20 hours ) and then I'll drop off 3 hours later on the next Sunday and you were 15 minutes late 2 times so then we are even.

Its all about the quality of time with the kids - not the exact minutes they spend with each parent.

Ridiculous.
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  #15  
Old 03-30-2021, 12:12 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post
I think people watch too much TV and say "See you in court!". Newsflash: The court does not want to see you. Handle it yourself.
Bingo and a wise observation. The court does not want to see you.
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  #16  
Old 03-30-2021, 03:26 PM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Bingo and a wise observation. The court does not want to see you.
The problem is that courts all to readily entertain new applications. I bet you most court applications are from repeat offenders, obsessed with filing in court to teach their ex a lesson. A litigant can lose at trial and turn around and file a new application 6 months later.

There should be a "time out" period after a court proceeding has been concluded, whether it be via settlement on consent or through trial. For example, neither party may bring an application to court for 5 years after a court proceeding has been concluded. Unless, of course, there is something legitimately extraordinary such as parent wanting to move to Europe and therefore negate the parenting plan.
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  #17  
Old 03-31-2021, 04:16 PM
velas velas is offline
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I have a few....


Ex told me that it was "nice of us to invite child on our vacations". Like child was some random person.


Being sent receipts for activities as notice instead of discussing the costs/activities with me. I ended up refusing to pay for anything that wasn't discussed in advance and she simply stopped sending receipts. Like she'd rather pay for them herself than discuss something with me. Oh, and I'd constantly get receipts for literally 70% of anything that was child related. 70% of a $10 activity. Most of which went ignored as I was paying between 800-1000 in support every month.


Child hadn't been living at home for 3 months before she turned 19, and 3 months after child turned 19, she sent in a doctors note to support enforcement and they re-started the support payments with arrears. Luckily I had some documentation proving child was not living at home and they closed the account and canceled the arrears. Apparently bringing her groceries once a week warranted full table support from me.
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  #18  
Old 03-31-2021, 09:44 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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My ex, when he was actually on semi speaking terms with the youngest child, told her he had sent x dollars to me for her birthday present and to go to town with it. The amount he quoted her was the exact amount he pays monthly for child support. He never sent any extra money for her birthday and I had to explain to the poor kid that the amount he quoted was what he paid for child support but he had not sent any other money in that amount for her birthday. She was livid with him for lying to her. He pulled the same bs with our 18 year old son at one Christmas who lost even more respect for him as a result.

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 03-31-2021 at 09:47 PM.
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  #19  
Old 04-04-2021, 02:44 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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This one is just weird: dad refuses to put child in 'fresh' clothes for pickup. Will pickup child from school and will put on school uniform to go home. I've sent a fresh change of clothes in her backpack....but nope. School uniform has to go back on. Child (4) is not allowed to bring any toys from Dad's house with her. Everything has to stay there. I guess it's fine? Just petty.
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  #20  
Old 04-04-2021, 10:41 PM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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The clothing debacle always makes me laugh. For me, the kids's clothes are their clothes, no matter which parent bought them. When I get the kids ready for school in the morning, they pick out clothes of their choice and I simply ensure they're weather-appropriate. My ex, on the other hand, seems to be on alert that I'll be picking up the kids and its guaranteed that kids will be dressed in clothes that I purchased, regardless of the weather or if they even still fit. Every single time. Its almost like there is a drawer, bin, or box at her place dedicated to "Dad Days". Its almost as if Mom Day vs Dad Day consumes her, even early on weekday mornings. There has to be mental health issues to put that much thought/energy into ensuring clothes are from me and not purchased by her on my days with the kids. Even down to the socks selection.

I've had a few other pretty petty instances. Such as asking me not to wear cologne when around the kids because she can smell my cologne off of them when returned to her care. Its almost comical to think she has the audacity to try to dictate such things.

One-sided extensions of courtesy can get somewhat frustrating. Ex will indicate to me that the kids will be late for my parenting time for a particular reason or other, and I say 'no problem' as I know better than to make a big deal on such things. Traffic happens, people run late, whatever. I'd rather they drive safely instead of racing to beat a clock. However, a month or two later I make the exact same request and get immediately shut down. In divorce, you learn pretty quickly how well your ex's memory works.
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