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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 09-13-2010, 12:23 PM
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Neither of your examples would invoke right of first refusal.

First one is a playdate....second one is a visit with the grandparents.

It'd be more of a "I am going out with the girls and hired a 16 year old kid to watch my child while I go have a good time"

Basically any time you would need an actual BABYSITTER....the other parent is supposed to be offered the time instead if applicable. (Obviously if the other parent lives a fair bit away, then it's not always doable)
Old 09-13-2010, 07:25 PM
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We put in wording about if it was for 3 hours or more, something like that. As much as we snipe at each other, we both understand what the clause means, that it refers to a babysitter, and co-operate with it.
Old 09-13-2010, 08:25 PM
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One note here...on an issue like this that may go to the court, you may have a better shot at sending your request via courier, since you then have proof...a touchy-and too often won-defense is that the email never was received...prove it If emailing, request a read receipt...but even there, she has the option of saying no and you are back to proving it...
Old 09-13-2010, 08:27 PM
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Registered mail or fax works good too.
Old 09-18-2010, 06:01 PM
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Does she have a lawyer? If so, send the request to the lawyer, if not send her a registered letter to the ex asking for the address. Give a date that it needs to be returned by. Have an affidavit and notice of motion ready to be served on the next day after the deadline. In the notice of motion ask for costs. Then go to court. When you are in court, the judge will be pissed about the trivial issue, but point out the ongoing difficulty you are having. If the judge is interested in what you have to say, maybe point out that a custody change is in order. If the ex is always difficult, and also having the kids looked after by everyone but herself, then maybe she should be the non custodial parent.
Old 09-21-2010, 11:48 AM
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Just a quick update... Found the address online with a lot of searching. She finally responded to the email afterwards with the new address! Now waiting for a response from a registered letter... turns out that the reason that she wouldn't give the address is because her mom moved 2 towns away (with the kids overnight)... ARGH!!!

thanks for the advise - hope something works out to make life easier for the kids soon.
Old 01-20-2011, 02:52 PM
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Default Of if you want to know by today...

Go to Service Ontario office in municipality where Grannie lives, do a land title search using her name, costs $8, find out all property under that name and the new house will pop up. Assuming Grannie owns her house.
Old 01-27-2011, 11:54 AM
ForwardFromHere ForwardFromHere is offline
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A quick question about right of first refusal. Would a scenario where my ex goes out with the boys to play poker leaving my children at home with his live-in girlfriend fall under ROFR? Or if he takes an overtime shift on his weekend with them and leaves them home her?

I'm not trying to cause sh!t, really his alternative would be his mother, and I think the live-in is a better care-giver for them, but I am does irk me a bit that they aren't with either of their parents.
Old 01-27-2011, 12:08 PM
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You should start a new thread for this .....

But - do you have a ROFR clause in your separation agreement? If you do, does it speak to any specifics as to when and how to apply it? If not, you are probably shit out of luck. ROFR is not an "automatic", just a common sense option.
Old 01-27-2011, 12:23 PM
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Yeah, I thought about starting a new thread right after I posted....sorry to the OP, but this thread caught my eye as I had difficulty getting my exe's new address after he moved for the 3rd time in a year.

We don't have a separation agreement in place yet (almost 2 years now!!), but I will consider that a clause should be put in. There is nothing common sense about decisions my ex makes with regards to the kids!

Think I'll start a new thread, I have a couple other questions about possible clauses in our agreement...

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