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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #21  
Old 06-29-2022, 11:48 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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But hovering is still interfering. Hes had his opportunities for his five visits and he refused them. So from now on you tell him he needs to make an appointment with the supervisory for the time and you will accommodate.
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  #22  
Old 06-29-2022, 11:48 AM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
I agree with respondent. Your actions indicate you were NOT supervising. You were spying! A judge would also see it that way. When is your next court date? The judge will likely order somebody else to supervise your ex other than you if they think your ex still requires supervision. But, as others have mentioned, supervised visits are only supposed to be a temporary measure.
Yes, I am also asking for indoor places only during the hot or cold weather.
At winter, he does not show up at all. Only at summer times once in a while. He prefers to be outside and not taking the child anywhere else.
I have provided aces where he can take her as a suggestion. The lawyer said, the client will keep the child outdoor only.
I don't really care. I am ok with outdoors activities as long as it's safe.
I am asking the court to allow the interference during the visitation.
As for the temporary visitation time, I don't think he will be coming any way. He is forced by the judge and his lawyer to come for visits.
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  #23  
Old 06-29-2022, 11:49 AM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
But hovering is still interfering. He�s had his opportunities for his five visits and he refused them. So from now on you tell him he needs to make an appointment with the supervisory for the time and you will accommodate.
That's we said. He refused. He said feeding the child, changind
her diaper, putting her to sleep is not his responsibility. He said, my visits are 2 hrs only. But he had 5 hrs of visitation, he refused to take. Again, not to do thr abovementioned things.
His next visit is 6 hrs, he took an hour only and said, I won't be feeding the child and that she does need a water or diaper change. It's just an hour visit, as per him.
Yet he tells court in his motion, I am happy to do all of this if I am given more time. Yet he refuses all this time given to him.
The issue is, he won't do anything for child or meet her needs even if she asks when he is alone.
It's a very conflicting situation, where the word I say for the child is taken negatively but he himself suggests nothing. He says to his lawyer, he does not communicate with me.
When I asked in my email, let me know how would you like me to help you to have a better visits with child and less stressful - he replies nothing. Yet he does not want me to complain at all.
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  #24  
Old 06-29-2022, 11:54 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Originally Posted by Anotherday View Post
I was not video taping the visit. Only when something was wrong.

I am not allowed to interfere with visits but the judge said, first 5 visits to be supervised by someone or the mother.
The father came to 2 visits only out of 5.
I thought if I supervise he may show up, which he did.
That's why he did not care in front of me to show the care for the child.
I called my lawyer and said this - I was told not to interfere.
Because the father does not like that.
Hiding in the bushes and periodically turning on/off camera is still videotaping. This will end badly for you. Sorry.

Why not this.... when your ex shows up, you have a bag ready that contains sunscreen, snacks, sunhat, heck, even a small portable fan from the dollar store. Have the kid fed ahead of time. That would look much better on you, rather than purposely setting your ex to fail (and secretly videotaping it).

Your ex can learn to parent. Kids grow fast. However a judge will not look kindly upon secretly videotaping, gatekeeping, and articling visits minute-by-minute. That reeks of controling behaviour.
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  #25  
Old 06-29-2022, 11:55 AM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
But hovering is still interfering. He�s had his opportunities for his five visits and he refused them. So from now on you tell him he needs to make an appointment with the supervisory for the time and you will accommodate.
I agree with you that hovering is still interfering. Therefore, I am refusing his ask all visits to be supervised by me.
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  #26  
Old 06-29-2022, 11:56 AM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post
Hiding in the bushes and periodically turning on/off camera is still videotaping. This will end badly for you. Sorry.

Why not this.... when your ex shows up, you have a bag ready that contains sunscreen, snacks, sunhat, heck, even a small portable fan from the dollar store. Have the kid fed ahead of time. That would look much better on you, rather than purposely setting your ex to fail (and secretly videotaping it).

Your ex can learn to parent. Kids grow fast. However a judge will not look kindly upon secretly videotaping, gatekeeping, and articling visits minute-by-minute. That reeks of controling behaviour.
Again, I have provided everything. He never touched them.
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  #27  
Old 06-29-2022, 11:57 AM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post
Hiding in the bushes and periodically turning on/off camera is still videotaping. This will end badly for you. Sorry.

Why not this.... when your ex shows up, you have a bag ready that contains sunscreen, snacks, sunhat, heck, even a small portable fan from the dollar store. Have the kid fed ahead of time. That would look much better on you, rather than purposely setting your ex to fail (and secretly videotaping it).

Your ex can learn to parent. Kids grow fast. However a judge will not look kindly upon secretly videotaping, gatekeeping, and articling visits minute-by-minute. That reeks of controling behaviour.
You are talking about person that could learn to be a parent and should learn. My case is not the same.

I just wish it was. So far we are demanding him to see the child.
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  #28  
Old 06-29-2022, 11:59 AM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post
Hiding in the bushes and periodically turning on/off camera is still videotaping. This will end badly for you. Sorry.

Why not this.... when your ex shows up, you have a bag ready that contains sunscreen, snacks, sunhat, heck, even a small portable fan from the dollar store. Have the kid fed ahead of time. That would look much better on you, rather than purposely setting your ex to fail (and secretly videotaping it).

Your ex can learn to parent. Kids grow fast. However a judge will not look kindly upon secretly videotaping, gatekeeping, and articling visits minute-by-minute. That reeks of controling behaviour.
Hiding in Bushes is just for the child not to see. Otherwise the child would want to come to me.
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  #29  
Old 06-29-2022, 12:01 PM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I would think if you were sending your child off for an outdoor visit at noon you would prep the child including feeding it and putting sun screen on.

There�s also this battle between not wanting dad to get the upper hand at court but also wanting to deal with his behaviour.

Your ex is useless as a caregiver, that is evident but he is still the child�s father and he should be able to spend time with his child without you hovering or spying.

You set the boundaries on the time and prepare kid for that time. If he has court ordered time (ie three hours every other Saturday) you follow up with him on Wednesday and ask if he plans to exercise his full time and that you will wait 48 hours for his confirmation otherwise you will not be available.

It is reasonable to set that boundary, it is not reasonable to behave in this manner.
He never followed the 48 hr notice. In fact, always texts last minute. He was informed by my lawyer at least 10 times. No visits if he is late with notices. He still late and I still provide the child. And I don't make any any plans on his Saturday, even when there is no notice of any kind, as he can come and say, I did not show up.
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  #30  
Old 06-29-2022, 12:05 PM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
But hovering is still interfering. He�s had his opportunities for his five visits and he refused them. So from now on you tell him he needs to make an appointment with the supervisory for the time and you will accommodate.
Just realized your suggestion. His appointment is the day before the visit. What if the child is not available?
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