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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 05-05-2022, 03:31 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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How are you crippling yourself financially? If she ends up owing you money then you can argue it comes off monthly ss. If she cant pay her lawyers, thats on her.

Her financial mess she is creating is not used for need with respect to ss. The need relates to her basic financial needs. Not paying for lawyers and your costs awards.

And if she wont mediate, you cant make her. Arbitration is not guaranteed either. So you push for trial and get a decision.
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Old 05-11-2022, 08:30 AM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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Originally Posted by Kkc View Post
I have to care about what she does financially because I do not want to cripple myself financially.

It is cheaper to settle but it has to make sense either to a mediator, an arbitrator and then a judge
The law gives your ex the right to be willfully stupid and spiteful. You have tried enough and you will feel better once you accept the reality of what your ex is. Stop torturing yourself and mount up.

Of course you are concerned about her finances. Her finances still affect yours and those you care for but ultimately beyond simply telling her that it doesn't make sense to fight this in court because one of you is going to loose big time and you are afraid of X. That is it, end of negotiation.

Mediation, arbitration; she is stupid and doesn't care about this stuff on top of that do you really think she is willing to accept a mediator going against what she says she wants given her personality, nope. More wasted money.

Tell her the arbitration is there, take away mediation and go for the trail. Do it as cheaply as possible.

Pick the best of 2 bad options.
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Old 05-11-2022, 09:43 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Posts: 356
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You can have 2 kids together in early years (ie: aged 3 and 5). A litigant can severely restrict access, and the law permits them to drag their heels as long as possible, so that by the time the matter gets resolved, the kids are 18. A litigant can:
- delay;
- postpone;
- cause delay by not releasing info;
- suggest more time is needed to negotiate as you are close (when you really aren't)'
- suggest more time is needed to negotiate when they have no intention of negotiating;
- suggest mediation under the guise that its an option;
- purposefully try to run you out of funds;
- drag it out until you give up;
- you name it.

And Family Court is more than happy to give delays and not reprimand the above-noted behaviour. There are no teeth in Family Law and the teeth that do exist are never utilized. For example, my lawyer told me its next to impossible to get a contempt order. The trick is to catch on quickly that your ex is acting in bad faith and make a fair offer to settle. Then fast-track it for trial as best you can. They will likely sign before the trial starts. Don't flush your money in the dance they are orchestrating.
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Old 06-02-2022, 07:49 PM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 267
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I appreciate the above, and yes that is happening
it is all a stall and delay tactic

Essentially, I have not been provided with disclosure, so I have no clue about anything of hers. That is one problem family law hates, especially when you can prove foul play.

After that, I will push for mediation, if she refuses, I will plan questioning and settlement conference with the offer, maybe in the interim try to get a judge to take over the case to help expedite this

I have a large pending cost award that would be FRO enforceable. If family are paying her legal bills and she cannot pay cost, I go back and put into FRO and make her arrange securities so family would have to cover my cost.

I had this talk at work, I do appreciate the notion of offer to settle, but unfortunately when the other party will never be satisfied and constantly demand more and more, what can I do honestly, and demand that I barely see my kids, it is a no win situation (except for lawyers)
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