Life After The Motion

[LovingFather32]

Hiya Arabian!

You can understand my disjointed prose like LF32 can...it irritates most...lmao
(fuk the tea drinkers)

Everybody SINKS with LF32 with or without Sentence Structure

90 percent are on ignore ..it helps (for me)

I'm making it painfully obvious to LF32....trials the only option.

use to be the bobble heads for victims disagreed..they got squat now

I bet LF32 misses all that negative support he got

Here we are .....Here we are

Getting past the menopause judge ....will be interesting we got till March

I'm making it painfully obvious to LF32....trials the only option.

The thought of a trial makes my head hurt. Prepping witnesses, etc. A lot of work when I just got a full time job. Lawyer predicts a 3 week trial with everything. 2 weeks of which will probably by just fighting OCL on the stand with CAS/endorsements/Police/judges in my corner). Still...OCL will come and make a day of hell for me.
If this things gong to trial .. I have to be mentally, physically and financially prepared.

[Janibel]

Mr T is right, your best option is a trial. I don't see any way for you to obtain the result you want without it. It's hell no doubt because it's damn expensive, time consuming and there's no guarantee that you will succeed.

With a lying HC Ex like yours, what choice do you have? You're very well prepared and seem to have all your ducks in a row.

[LovingFather32]

Blows my mind that legal aid will cough up taxpayers money to fund her circus. Not only does it blow my mind... also irks me that these funds could be helping a person in desperate need. Nope. Going to ex to play with.

[MrToronto]

Your Lawyer probably said that because of the SC Judge

SC's Judges job according to the "RULES" was to narrow the issues between parties

Instead she inflamed the matter

Goldilocks was expecting the HAMMER in Court that day but the SC Judge threw her creampuffs

The Motion Judge got it right.....he put the parties on a path to settlement

ALL the SC judge had to do was rubber stamp the Motion Judges determination and put pressure on Goldilocks to GET ALONG

Goldilocks got the wrong message and left Court to cause more grief

Nobodies taking the access you have now away

SO what's the point of the slander and what's the point of the OCL findings...all of it was tossed and OCL was ignored

Goldilocks is making sure JOINT won't work but that's where it's headed

Sole Custody is a strong word....(but a option when faced with a high conflict ex)

Primary Parent and joint. IS the best case scenario. Which I see LF32 becoming the primary parent.

OF course because of the SC judge he has to sit through months of B.S from Goldilocks and stick handle through it.

and yes the SC judge just pulled a few thousand more out of LF32's wallet, infuriating..... you bet.

[LovingFather32]

Ex wouldn't even pick up D3 at 7:30 am (I work at 8). I had to hire a sitter for half an hour in the morning as I leave at 7:30. Lol. The sitter is our neighbour who D3 loves.

Just goes to show. No flexibility with her either. I bet she'll bee seeking flexibility in x-mas schedule though.

I get her Wednesday from noon until Thursday morning and judge ordered I also get x-mas day from noon until boxing day at 5. Well x-mas eve falls on a wed. So I'll drop her off from 8 am until noon x-mas day at ex's. Keep D3 from noon x'mas day until the following Monday at 8 am. Yep...falls on my weekend also.

I wonder how this will play out.

[MrToronto]

To me...perfect time for a one liner in the communication box on "inflexibility"

...would you consider being a little flexible around my work schedule......

and the flip side you can offer to be flexible (while grinding your teeth) and offer stuff around that special day called XMAS

you score 2 points!

[LovingFather32]

To me...perfect time for a one liner in the communication box on "inflexibility"

...would you consider being a little flexible around my work schedule......

and the flip side you can offer to be flexible (while grinding your teeth) and offer stuff around that special day called XMAS

you score 2 points!

She claims it's too early for D3 to be up. Says she's used to sleeping now until 10:00. D3 is bright eyed and bushy tailed in the early mornings...full of hugs and smiles.

Given my x-mas schedule above .. what would you offer her this x-mas if you were on my position? Perhaps x-mas eve until x-mas day at noon? Stating that I'd like x'mas eve next year

[arabian]

I do hope you have something in writing where ex (the unemployed welfare bum) states she (ex) doesn't get up before 10AM - good for your arsenal.

[Rioe]

She claims it's too early for D3 to be up. Says she's used to sleeping now until 10:00. D3 is bright eyed and bushy tailed in the early mornings...full of hugs and smiles.

Given my x-mas schedule above .. what would you offer her this x-mas if you were on my position? Perhaps x-mas eve until x-mas day at noon? Stating that I'd like x'mas eve next year

If she won't budge on half an hour, why should you budge on anything? You have no idea what's going to be going on next year - you aren't in a position to negotiate with it now. Having so much of Christmas this year, even if it means D3 gets exchanged twice for a four-hour span with your ex, is make-up for how much time with her you missed earlier this year, like Easter, Father's Day, your birthday, etc. You fought very hard for this time - don't give it up. I know you want to show that you can be flexible, but you need this holiday time with D3, and to demonstrate how important that time is to you.

The only offer I would make is that your ex could pick up D3 at 7:30am Christmas Day instead of 8am. When you suggest it, be sure to mention that you have never had problems waking her up at that hour, and comment that she's plenty rested and energetic because her bedtime at your house is X o'clock. When your ex responds, you can find out how flexible she's willing to be about mornings in general.

Something to keep in mind though - if you do get your ex to do pickups at 7:30am to accommodate your work schedule, have a backup plan for when she's late, so you can still get to work on time. All this just goes to demonstrate that doing exchanges through school would work better for the two of you. One of you drops off in the morning, the other picks up in the afternoon and you don't have to interact or rely on the other person. If your ex is going to demonstrate inflexibility, you have to propose solutions that work around this.

[shirley1011]

I know you are trying to be flexible...but if the judge gave you that Xmas time enjoy it with D3. Just can't imagine Ex picking her up and bringing her back hours later....but I would offer her the 7:30 and if she can do it for Xmas she can do it ongoing.

[rockscan]

Dont give up any holiday time and make sure you start traditions. Otherwise youll get push back on "moms" traditions in the future. Its your time, take it and keep it.

[Straittohell]

Refusing to cater to any more of her BS and getting to have your daughter from the 25th to the 29th is well worth the irritation of having to hire a babysitter for a half hour.

Don't give up a minute of the time that you have. I'm huge on flexibility, but only when it serves a greater good. I don't think giving her some extra time between the 25th and 29th is going to advance your case in court.

If she asks, let her know that you have made a number of family commitments and will be unable to accommodate, and that you would be more comfortable working within the boundaries of your court order.

Also agree with Arabian that this stuff about 10:00am wake-ups is just gold. Your girl should be heading into some kind of schooling in the next year, and 10:00am wake-ups have no place in that life.

Never mind that, just how late is she having your kid stay up so that she sleeps in that late? If a parent has their kid staying up late like that so that they sleep in, it is usually because the parent in question doesn't want to get up early with their kid.

[LovingFather32]

If she won't budge on half an hour, why should you budge on anything? You have no idea what's going to be going on next year - you aren't in a position to negotiate with it now. Having so much of Christmas this year, even if it means D3 gets exchanged twice for a four-hour span with your ex, is make-up for how much time with her you missed earlier this year, like Easter, Father's Day, your birthday, etc. You fought very hard for this time - don't give it up. I know you want to show that you can be flexible, but you need this holiday time with D3, and to demonstrate how important that time is to you.

The only offer I would make is that your ex could pick up D3 at 7:30am Christmas Day instead of 8am. When you suggest it, be sure to mention that you have never had problems waking her up at that hour, and comment that she's plenty rested and energetic because her bedtime at your house is X o'clock. When your ex responds, you can find out how flexible she's willing to be about mornings in general.

Something to keep in mind though - if you do get your ex to do pickups at 7:30am to accommodate your work schedule, have a backup plan for when she's late, so you can still get to work on time. All this just goes to demonstrate that doing exchanges through school would work better for the two of you. One of you drops off in the morning, the other picks up in the afternoon and you don't have to interact or rely on the other person. If your ex is going to demonstrate inflexibility, you have to propose solutions that work around this.

Such a tough call. I thought the same darn thing Rioe. She put me through so much on the past 9 months. Denials of access, allegations...you name it. I thought .. hmm I'm just going to stick to the order. She won't even budge half an hour after all.

My lawyer thinks like Mr. T. does...that I should offer something to keep riding the "reasonable train" for court. Tough choice.

What do you think browneyes?

[Straittohell]

Who is browneyes? Am I missing something?

Attempts at flexibility can also be misrepresented by the other party as you simply giving up time because you can't handle having that much with your daughter.

Even though I'm in a 50-50 situation, I have a slight paranoia about things. I think I've maybe asked my ex to take the kids on my time once in the last two years. I find every option imaginable to arrange for their care other than to ask her, only because she has serious reliability issues, and I also worry about it ever being used against me. Whenever she comes to me asking for me to take them on her time to help out, I always say yes. If she comes to me asking for additional time with the kids while they are technically with me, I ask for an offset.

It might seem a bit two-faced to operate like that, but I like my interactions and accommodations to be completely devoid of any risks of being labelled incompetent.

[LovingFather32]

Good point Strait.

Browneyes is a long time viewer of my thread. No posts, no responses via PM. But always here.