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  • #16
    Just document. Did the judge not say she needs to go to School? Your ex is pathetic.

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    • #17
      I believe the judge stated that his ex should get a job and to do this the child should be in school (LF will correct me if I'm wrong).

      I think it probably comes down to money. If his ex can convince her social worker that she can't go to work because she has to stay home with daughter then her benefits will continue?

      Always about money with people like this - never about best interests of the child. Total welfare-mentality.

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      • #18
        Just be firm with your daughter, tell her that all children should go to school so they can learn interesting and important things and have good jobs as adults. All the other kids in her class to go school, they don't stay home with a parent. School is normal for kids. Yes, her mother and grandmother may stay home all day, but people who work can have nicer homes and afford more fun things and help more people.

        Document every absence on your ex's time, and journal every instance of her talking about her mother's non-supportive attitude towards school. You know your ex is doing this to manipulate the situation to get herself home with the child every day again. Don't even mention it to your ex, just keep reinforcing school with your daughter.

        If your ex doesn't give up, initiate a motion to change custody to you, so that your child can be reliably brought to school every day.

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        • #19
          I agree with most responses. Don't worry about what the ex is doing. Her week is hers and your is yours. Your daughter goes to school ( your the boss ). And what happens when she is with the ex is her business. All you do is watch them smile when they are with you, that's all that matters. As for the ex let her be. Don't or try not to worry about what she does.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by arabian View Post
            I believe the judge stated that his ex should get a job and to do this the child should be in school (LF will correct me if I'm wrong).

            I think it probably comes down to money. If his ex can convince her social worker that she can't go to work because she has to stay home with daughter then her benefits will continue?

            Always about money with people like this - never about best interests of the child. Total welfare-mentality.
            Yes the order states that she seek employment. Job bank's full of job right now. But we won't get on that topic Arabian because I think it will be another "butt out" and "stop trying to control ex" stuff. lol

            Not really trying to control her .. just sucks that a) I have the child 50/50 and pay for pretty much everything but still pay full table child support while she's in school full time .. while ex sits on Welfare. But it's true .. none of my business (just my bank account's).. although it's the courts business as it is in the order.

            I went over one of Taykens recent posts about WorkingDad (the protection of costs thing) and I love where the judge wrote "The mother has no reason to be not seeking employment and remaining on Welfare".

            All I can do now is what I've been doing all along .. which is making school positive, providing coping strategies, encouragement, etc and remind her that life isn't about sitting around a house collecting free money from different sources (obviously not saying the free money thing or portraying mom in a negative fashion). I'm super happy that my family and I model that for her on a daily basis on my parenting time.

            My ex actually told me "Well, if we were still together then I assume you'd be working and I'd be available at home in case D4 needs me"? Huh? :-)

            In the end all I can do is make sure I do things right and teach adaptive, healthy lifestyle stuff/emotional regulation, etc on my time.

            Good news is ex and I are extremely civil, kind to one another and everything is going smooth aside from her attempting to make school a negative experience, making her feel guilty for going and modelling how to milk the system instead of working for a living. All I can do is pray that D4 decides to model our lifestyle instead of the other.
            Last edited by LovingFather32; 03-24-2016, 09:57 AM.

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            • #21
              <inside joke>
              LF32, you should simply go to your child's doctor and have that doctor tell you that you should not allow the other parent to see the child. That way those that tell you to "butt out" and "stop trying to control ex" will agree with your conduct. For some reason they think that this kind of conduct is perfectly acceptable but, asking for a court order to be implemented (find employment) is "controlling".
              </inside joke>

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              • #22
                Leave out the milk the system. Shes only making it negative because she wants to take off to moms house nothing more.

                Keep telling D4 that everyone has responsibilities and SOON MOMMY WILL BE GOING TO WORK TOO. See how that goes

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                  <inside joke>
                  LF32, you should simply go to your child's doctor and have that doctor tell you that you should not allow the other parent to see the child. That way those that tell you to "butt out" and "stop trying to control ex" will agree with your conduct. For some reason they think that this kind of conduct is perfectly acceptable but, asking for a court order to be implemented (find employment) is "controlling".
                  </inside joke>
                  First, way to derail the thread Tayken. Passive aggressive just a little? If you have something to say, just have the balls to say it directly.

                  I say what I mean directly. I speak my mind and do not have to play games to make my point.

                  Someone sent me a private message to ask if you were truly joking or being an asshole. No one can even tell what you are up to.

                  Second, for those who wonder what he is talking about, here is my post. Please read it in its entirety to judge for yourself. Tayken was scolded for his attack in this post and it was closed to prevent him from further "commenting".

                  http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...itation-13399/

                  Tayken and I have a long, sordid history of disagreeing. No surprise there.

                  I told the truth in that post. My ex is a doctor. My relationship with our family doctor was a close one. She mentored him. I went to her for advice and treatment for my daughter not to control the ex. My ex, myself and two daughters were all her patients. You said it wasn't possible that she said that but it is true.

                  The family doctor was suggesting that my daughter was not emotionally ready for STAYING at Dad's, not that she shouldn't see him.

                  And, because Tayken is stirring up trouble I will say that my daughter ended up in the emergency department because of a situation where she cut herself intentionally over the death of a pet. ER doctor said it was the youngest case of cutting he had seen. SHE WAS 11. I didn't disclose that at the time because I was hurting and scrambling to figure out what to do and didn't want to buy into Tayken's idiotic behaviour. I had gotten the advice I needed.

                  So, FU Tayken. You are just jealous of my positive relationship with ex, who pays his 5 figure support on time and spends his time with his kids. And yes, I receive thousands of dollars in support each month and still go off to work each day.

                  You may not like my style of posting or my direct way of writing, but leave my children alone.

                  This was just spiteful and petty and serves no purpose to this thread Tayken. Your true colours and your own petty neurosis shining on through....
                  Last edited by SadAndTired; 03-24-2016, 01:08 PM.

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                  • #24
                    Talk about being dramatic (tea kettle), over emotional and quite frankly. ...inappropriate. Tayken gave some advice ..mentioned no names ... and even wrote "joke".

                    Telling poster to F#$^ off shouldn't be tolerated. Once again, if you don't like what a poster writes hit the "ignore" button. If you want to share your life story while telling peeps to F off .... start your own thread.

                    I'm here for advice and intelligent conversation. Please stop swearing and attacking. I think Jeff mentioned this in a thread not too far back.

                    Have a great Easter S&T .. Take a deep breath and give yourself some credit .. youre a good person.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                      Once again, if you don't like what a poster writes hit the "ignore" button.
                      The ignore feature on this site works quite well. Not sure what you are even talking about it LF32.

                      Oh and Jain Ghomeshi was found not guilty.

                      http://www.scribd.com/doc/305846521/...of-all-charges
                      Last edited by Tayken; 03-24-2016, 02:03 PM.

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                      • #26
                        S&T is out of line for telling another poster to f--- off, but Tayken is also out of line for dredging up an altercation he had with S&T in 2012 (!) for no apparent reason. Putting the words "joke" around something doesn't make it funny or worth posting.

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                        • #27
                          Thanks for the support Stripes.

                          3 years is a long time isn't it?? This isn't the first time Tayken has referenced that particular thread in the last few weeks. I did ignore the first few times but obviously it was to attention seek. S/he finally pissed me off. Hopefully s/he will stop with the "jokes" now the attention has been duly provided and now that everyone has clarity to the meaning of the "humour".

                          And to clarify one last thing, I said FU to Tayken. Only a bit different than FOff, but as has been discussed on this forum before, we are all adults and hopefully we can handle it.
                          Last edited by SadAndTired; 03-24-2016, 04:25 PM.

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                          • #28
                            Well this is entirely off track so if anyone has anything useful to post related to the original post, please do so.

                            Thanks.

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                            • #29
                              Weird weather we've been having lately - must be a full moon?

                              LF32, you're kid will do awesome in life, don't worry about the Ex. This is normal behavior for a 4 year old ... this too shall pass.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                                For some reason they think that this kind of conduct is perfectly acceptable but, asking for a court order to be implemented (find employment) is "controlling".[/INDENT][/LEFT][/RIGHT]
                                </inside joke>
                                Yeh .. she likes to call me dramatic, an abuser, a catfish, a liar .. etc. Now I'm controlling my ex's life by asking for advice about an issue.

                                S&T is unbannable .. that's fine... my problem is not ignoring her crap as much as I should be.

                                Many posters are sick of it, which obviously includes Tayken.

                                LF32, you're kid will do awesome in life, don't worry about the Ex. This is normal behavior for a 4 year old ... this too shall pass.
                                Totally Janny. Thanks. I figured I was doing all the right things. Sometimes ODF helps me think of new ideas .. in this case to facilitate a healthy academic career for D4, or to motivate her to work and follow her dreams ...being a productive member of society.

                                I suppose also to see if there were any other parents out there who had 50/50, paid the Extra Curriculars (all), full table CS ..... while parent B is refusing to follow an order to seek employment while the child is in school full time. Im certainly not "butting in" anywhere or trying to control her life

                                I'm not even talking to anyone outside of this site about it. Just casually seeking more info from posters who may have had similar experiences and/or are knowledgeable on the subject.

                                Oh yea .. the weather is cray cray. El Nino is in full effect .. I'm sure we'll be tanning on the beach by next week. :-)
                                Last edited by LovingFather32; 03-24-2016, 08:32 PM. Reason: changes "is" to "are" in second last para.

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